Being drink does not mean you deserve it.

[OhNoMyFanjo]

I have been reading some comments on tge DM site re an interview with a women who was raped. Her rapist has just been convicted. She has had many terrible things said about her in her community due to the rapist being a pillar of tge community.

I wanted to share this comment that someone has made as it sums up what should be obvious to everyone but unfortunately there are some people who don't get it.

You don't get raped because you are drunk - you vomit because you are drunk. You get raped because the rapist standing next to you made the decision to rape you and acted on it. The rapist is the only one accountable for going on to rape a person. End.

Has anyone on this thread said they don't believe them?

Yes. Bumbley. Yes I fucking well will.

bumbleymummy Sat 02-Jun-12 16:56:54
Garlic, I think you're contradicting yourself a bit there. The rapist has to have the opportunity - if there are no drunk women staggering home by themselves that night then he won't have that opportunity will he?

oh ffs

I already answered that blackout:

Add message | Report | Message poster bumbleymummy Sat 02-Jun-12 20:46:51
Blackout:

"No, I would tell dd to keep her wit with her, but no way would I blame her for being raped"

No you haven't answered

Would you like to out that in context garlic? the fact that I was talking about a rapist who was particularly targeting drunk women walking home by themselves is kind of relevant

See above blackout - a quote from where I quoted you earlier in response to your question :)

Bumbley, you have said that a woman is more vulnerable to being raped if she is drunk. You also said that being drunk would make less able to fight off an attacker - how is that not saying that by avoiding being drunk you can avoid rape??

And in what universe is that not blaming the victim?

Bumbley - Please for the love of everything good, read this

www.mumsnet.com/campaigns/we-believe-you-campaign-rape-myths-busted

Kiss, where have I said it is your fault? Or any victims fault?

Running, 'avoid rape' suggests that you can avoid all rape. Which I haven't said at all. I have said that if there is a rapist targeting drunk women walking home alone and you are not walking home alone and drunk then you will avoid that particular rapist.

Lovely kiss. I'm not really sure why you have gotten all aggressive here because I have not said anywhere that a victim is to blame. You sound slightly unhinged tbh.

Bumbled can you really not see that by saying that women who walk home drunk who get raped have made themselves vulnerable that you are apportioning some blame to them, when in fact the whole blame lies with the rapist and the victim did absolutely nothing wrong?!?!?!

NO no no Bumbley it does not imply that - perhaps you inferred it mistakenly? Stop playing with semantics and stop with the victim blaming.

Do I?

I think it's actually YOUR fault that I took it upon myself to abuse you. It's not MY fault, you PROVOKED me into it!!

Oh.

Wait.

Right you asked what advice I would give my dd

I said 'No, I would tell dd to keep her wit with her, but no way would I blame her for being raped'

You then said 'Where did I say you should blame her for being raped blackout?'

I said 'Did I say you did?'

So my question is where did I say that you said I should blame my dd?

And please don't c+p my post, I've seen it enough times thank you

Thank you for the link blackout. I did read it when it first went up months ago. I think this one is relevant:

MYTH: Women who get drunk or take drugs shouldn't be surprised if they are raped or sexually assaulted
REALITY: Being vulnerable does not imply consent. If a woman is drunk, drugged or unconscious, she is not able to consent to sex(5).

(my bold)

So even the myth accepts that being drunk or under the influence of drugs makes you vulnerable. That is the point I made waaaaay back at the start which none of you were willing to accept. I have not said anywhere that being vulnerable makes rape your fault or anything else of the sort.

Running, you're obviously reading it differently to me because that's the way I would interpret it and I'm not willing to say that I've said something that I didn't.

Kiss, yes dear

This is just getting silly now

Actually blackout, this is what I asked you:

bumbleymummy Sat 02-Jun-12 20:32:56
Ok blackout, so you won't tell your daughters not to leave their drink down on a table etc. when they go out because if someone is going to drug them they'll do it anyway?

You replied:

No, I would tell dd to keep her wit with her, but no way would I blame her for being raped

I hadn't mentioned being raped yet you were suggesting that I had...

And I asked you where did I say that you said it

Amd again - 3rd time lucky - bumbley - what argument do you have for the fact that men can, presumably, go and get pissed and walk home alone yet women can't, without risk of being raped?