Being drink does not mean you deserve it.

[OhNoMyFanjo]

I have been reading some comments on tge DM site re an interview with a women who was raped. Her rapist has just been convicted. She has had many terrible things said about her in her community due to the rapist being a pillar of tge community.

I wanted to share this comment that someone has made as it sums up what should be obvious to everyone but unfortunately there are some people who don't get it.

You don't get raped because you are drunk - you vomit because you are drunk. You get raped because the rapist standing next to you made the decision to rape you and acted on it. The rapist is the only one accountable for going on to rape a person. End.

Where did I say you should blame her for being raped blackout? Giving someone advice about helping to prevent their drink be spiked is not the same as saying 'if you don't do this and you get drugged, it's your fault'.

Oh I hate the 'no means no'

Lemarche, read the title of the thread.

Did I say you did?

No, kiss that is not my argument. I have not said that not getting drunk will protect you from rapists.

You can say no or say nothing, be drunk or sober, be 9 or 90, in a group or alone... All these things I would add to kiss's "irrelevances"... The only relevant things are that you may be around someone who feels entitled to have sex with you whether or not you consent. And this you absolutely can't tell. There a good number rapists who get girls drunk so they can rape them, who manipulate them with lies. Or who buy into these rape myths of partners being entitled to sex, women being "up for it" and "fair game" when they are drunk or "prick teasers" for snogging but not going any further.

Blackout:

"No, I would tell dd to keep her wit with her, but no way would I blame her for being raped"

What is Your point then?

No but you say that getting drunk puts you at risk of being raped.

Because I'm pretty sure you said something earlier about not getting drunk would lessen your chances of getting raped by someone who likes raping drunk women...

Bumbley, throughout this thread you have said that not being drunk can lessen the risk of being of being raped. That is putting the onus on the woman not to be drunk. If that's not victim-blaming then I don't know what is.

No you said that being drunk you wouldn't be able to fight the rapist off, not like a sober person would?

I read a book recently about Levi Bellfield - the convicted killer of Millie Dowler. He was a profligate rapist and murderer. His victims weren't drunk - (mostly) - he used to drug young girls, but equally he attacked random strangers, women on their way home from work etc.

Also are you going to answer my question now?

And, the argument I've seen Bumbley put to not be drunk is that you'd be less able to fight off your attacker - Ridiculous argument and a further peppering of victim blaming - leading to the heinous question of ' why didn't you try to fight off your attacker?'

Do you know what I started this tgread not as a debate but as I had read a comment tgat perfectly summed it up. I'm going to repeat tgat comment.

You don't get raped because you are drunk - you vomit because you are drunk. You get raped because the rapist standing next to you made the decision to rape you and acted on it. The rapist is the only one accountable for going on to rape a person. End.

I know bumbley keeps trying to convince us that she/he isn't victim blaming but her/his posts suggest otherwise...

It's the sliding scale of bullshit. Prostitutes at one end, virgins who are raped in their own homes at the other end...

All of it. From the prostitute, through every single shade of grey in between, to the virgin if you cannot consent, do not consent or are coerced then the person who has done that to you is a rapist. And that's not your fault.

Anything else. Any other "opinion", any other fleeting thought is BULLSHIT.

Oh no I'd better watch out, reckon I've drank at least a bottle of wine...

Lemarch, see the drug as a contributory factor to her bring raped? Yes. Is it her fault she was drugged? No. Would I leave my drink down because if they want to drug me they'll find some way to do it? No, I would not.

Actually I'm pretty sure that I've said several times throughout the thread that it would lessen the chances under specific circumstances. If a rapist is out looking for a lonely, drunk girl and you are sober and/or in a group then you are not at risk of that particular rapist.