Do you think he will hurt me?

[singlemum2012]

I am newly and unexpectedly single, separated for a while but ex-dh only moved out 6 months ago so I am fairly new to dating. Ex-dh was first boyfriend so not very experienced.

Have started seeing this guy. Sex is fantastic, we began the relationship as a friends with benefits thing as he is a bit younger than me and doesn't want kids, fine with me and scratches an itch till I find someone more suitable for long-term. But this guy is a bit of an oddball and has been doing more and more things and I can't figure out whether he is not safe to be around or just messing with me. I only see him on weekends when I don't have my kids, he has never been to my house and does not even know my address.

A couple of times he has hidden behind the bathroom door so when I come out it makes me jump. Another time I was coming out of the bathroom and he was brandishing a hammer. He said he was putting up pictures, and there were pictures on the floor, but he never got around to it and I didn't see any nails, I just had the feeling he was doing it on purpose to scare me. He has cooked for me twice and both times has loaded the meals with as much fat as he possibly can, food fried in stupid amounts of lard, with gold top milk and cream and alcohol added. He told me one of his girlfriends put on two stone in six months when she lived with him. He's skinny and I noticed he ate less than half of his portion. He makes a big deal over the fact that he likes offal, raw meat and black pudding and is a huge attention seeker, when I am with him he is really wearing, he wants my attention all of the time, even keeping me awake most of the night and not letting me sleep. If it wasn't for the fabulous sex I would have run, would like to stay for this but I can't figure out whether he is a harmless attention-seeker pretending to be a dark and dangerous guy or whether he is actually dangerous. He drinks like a fish as well, has no friends (he says), wears black all the time and has decorated his house with weapons (he has good job and own house). He texts me all the time when I am not with him. I feel I don't have enough experience to evaluate him...my head says run but my heart wants the attention / the intimacy / the great sex.

Your opinions please??

Please dont go into the station and say "SqueakyToy" sent me... , nobody ever listens to anything I say, so this has to be a first...

I doubt it val, I'm sure OP would have mentioned the stripes. And whiskers.

MissFaversham, when I walked in and saw the weapons it freaked me out a bit. But I was without my car in a city at night (had meant to get the train home, got taxi with him to his place instead), and I felt that going outside and insisting that he called me a cab would be rude. I'm sure I'm not the only person who puts themselves at risk out of politeness. I also thought maybe I was over-reacting.

No way ever for the sake of politeness would I put myself at risk.

You really need to do some work on your self esteem and boundaries.

Oh and yes I have told him I won't be seeing him again.

Actually he said that out of all the dates he had brought home, only one walked straight out again when she saw his wall decorations. Many people go along with things due to not wanting to be rude.

Well then all those people need to do some work on their self esteem and boundaries as well.

lol!!!

fuckarama seriously, not everyone is as true to themselves as you seem to be. people like to conform, to be polite, to adhere to social norms. it takes a strong person to say actually no I'm not happy I'm leaving when in that situation.

If this guy actually exists, it means that he is deliberately seeking out women with low self-esteem and fragile boundaries, is what that means.

This is true. However, when confronted by a wall of sharp knives, a hammer and pointy teeth, most people throw conformity to the wind and run like fuck.

LMFWAO @ 'run like fuck!!'

The hammer thing was not on first date, it was something that happened Sunday morning, he was messing about but made me feel uneasy. Teeth were sharp not pointy.

Shove up Hully.

people like to conform, to be polite, to adhere to social norms

Laughing here Singlemum, EXACTLY and he doesn't, he's a creepy freak which is probably all rather facsinating in a macabre way, hence you spending soo much time thinking about it.

Time to move on to normal now though ay.

FFS that was a quick deletion HQ!

OK I'll rephrase.

OP, even if you want to be socially "nice" and conform, there are situations when you should use your common sense and run like fuck. And never ever look back.

He talked about his sharp teeth as a joke, lots of people are into biting as a sexual thing. He was flirting.

Collect weapons and decorate their house with them?! Either he is dangerous or an emo/goth twat, either way, GET RID!!!

Biting as a sexual thing?

Am I innocent, old, or just out of touch?

fuckarama aside from the weapons and a few throw-away comments I had no reason to feel unsafe on the first date. hence I went back for the second. and the hammer incident and cooking things happened.

If he floats your boat OP then fine (which it sort of sounds like)

If you like being frightened by hammers, fed up to be stuck in a dungeon and bitten by sharp teeth away you go

Which of us can say, honestly, that we have never spent an evening or two with a Roaring Barker?

Not me.

fuckarama there are plenty of people do worse than biting. Biting is nothing. Not something I am into though, let me add, before you all jump on that bandwagon.