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Relationships

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Do you think he will hurt me?

673 replies

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 21:59

I am newly and unexpectedly single, separated for a while but ex-dh only moved out 6 months ago so I am fairly new to dating. Ex-dh was first boyfriend so not very experienced.

Have started seeing this guy. Sex is fantastic, we began the relationship as a friends with benefits thing as he is a bit younger than me and doesn't want kids, fine with me and scratches an itch till I find someone more suitable for long-term. But this guy is a bit of an oddball and has been doing more and more things and I can't figure out whether he is not safe to be around or just messing with me. I only see him on weekends when I don't have my kids, he has never been to my house and does not even know my address.

A couple of times he has hidden behind the bathroom door so when I come out it makes me jump. Another time I was coming out of the bathroom and he was brandishing a hammer. He said he was putting up pictures, and there were pictures on the floor, but he never got around to it and I didn't see any nails, I just had the feeling he was doing it on purpose to scare me. He has cooked for me twice and both times has loaded the meals with as much fat as he possibly can, food fried in stupid amounts of lard, with gold top milk and cream and alcohol added. He told me one of his girlfriends put on two stone in six months when she lived with him. He's skinny and I noticed he ate less than half of his portion. He makes a big deal over the fact that he likes offal, raw meat and black pudding and is a huge attention seeker, when I am with him he is really wearing, he wants my attention all of the time, even keeping me awake most of the night and not letting me sleep. If it wasn't for the fabulous sex I would have run, would like to stay for this but I can't figure out whether he is a harmless attention-seeker pretending to be a dark and dangerous guy or whether he is actually dangerous. He drinks like a fish as well, has no friends (he says), wears black all the time and has decorated his house with weapons (he has good job and own house). He texts me all the time when I am not with him. I feel I don't have enough experience to evaluate him...my head says run but my heart wants the attention / the intimacy / the great sex.

Your opinions please??

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 21/05/2012 23:08

Olivia...delete all the others

Hurry up

All them up there ^^^^^

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 23:09

OK...I've never been abused / hurt / anything like that. So maybe I'm a bit too trusting. Don't shout at me...

OP posts:
turnigitonitshead · 21/05/2012 23:10

is he from true blood? or those new moon book?

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 23:10

No I'm not, I asked the GP. there is a GP counsellor, you have to wait months to see him then it is half an hour once a month - I saw him a few years back. waste of time.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 21/05/2012 23:10

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manicbmc · 21/05/2012 23:10

No one is shouting at you. We are merely banging our heads off our computer screens.

Stellarforstar · 21/05/2012 23:10

My stbxh was a bit like this (not as extreme). He was a "freelance" illustrator. Obsessed with drawing weird stuff.

Proper thought he was a daywalker.

turnigitonitshead · 21/05/2012 23:11

does he have a beard?

Asamumnonsense · 21/05/2012 23:11

If your instinct isn't telling you he is really odd and that you should be worried then there is nothing I can say.. Staying with this weirdo for sex? You are mad. Get yourself a rampant rabbit.

solidgoldbrass · 21/05/2012 23:11

It's not True Blood. Those books are good.

turnigitonitshead · 21/05/2012 23:11

does he wear glasses?

Tangointhenight · 21/05/2012 23:12

I don't see why you need counselling to realise this bloke is a frickin weirdo!!

Ditch him first, then look at why you let yourself go there in the first place!

Maryz · 21/05/2012 23:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 23:12

what can I say to make you believe I am for real?

despite the adolescent humour he's actually very relaxing to be around, I didn't feel anxious at all apart from the hammer incident and I just saw it as him trying to be funny. its only afterwards I thought maybe he was being cruel.

OP posts:
turnigitonitshead · 21/05/2012 23:12

am I playing guess who by my self?

mudspies · 21/05/2012 23:12

Do you think he will hurt me. Yes i do. Do i think you will listen to the advice given to quit whilst your still breathing no i don't.

AnyFucker · 21/05/2012 23:13

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Buckingfiatch · 21/05/2012 23:13

I am sorry, but I give up.

You come here asking for advice, it is given to you by all and yet all you do is defend him and your reasons to stay. And keep adding on information which doesn't tally up.

It's either real, or not. But what is the point in all this when you point blank refuse to open your eyes?

Either way, I give up.

squeakytoy · 21/05/2012 23:13

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singlemum2012 · 21/05/2012 23:15

what doesn't tally up? please explain. I've been nothing but honest. And I am listening. I've been asking friends for advice about him for a week.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 21/05/2012 23:15

Yeah, squeaky

that was shite fiction too

< awaits selective deletion >

BupcakesandCunting · 21/05/2012 23:16

OP, do what you like.

You've asked the question, we've answered. You're turning the tables now ans saying well actually he's very relaxing to be around (how you've gleaned all of this from two dates I'll never guess) and is basically Mother Teresa reincarnated. You obviously like him and want to keep seeing him. Go for it.

I do feel for your kids, though. You've barely mentioned them in all of this. If I thought that there was a slight chance that someone might harm me, even if I had no thought for myself, I would prevent it from happening because I love my boy so much.

BupcakesandCunting · 21/05/2012 23:17

AF, are you being persecuted, my lovely? Come and snuggle on Aunty Bup's bosom.

Nyac · 21/05/2012 23:17

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ledkr · 21/05/2012 23:17

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