I'm not moving, even though dp thinks Iabu

[Shirtpocketpolly]

Basically I own this house and another outright thanks to an inheritance from grandparents and have enough savings for a deposit

Dp works I am currently a sahm surviving on rent from the other house child benefit and minimal tax credits and ocationally get a payout from my savings that are invested basically less than 700 a month

Dp now only works 3 days a week having had his hours cut in the last month therefore he's gone from earning 1300 +per month to around 800 he pays £15 for the inernet £10 for the pet insurance and occasionally gets a few bits of shopping no mre than 30 or so on the way home

I pay everything else , insurances electric and gas , council tax kids stuff, food etc....

He used to give me 300 a month via standing order he cut that last year when he started earning less to (last time his hours were cut) and said he would give me cash which he doesnt I have to beg and plead for even 100 off him this month I've had 60 and he can't afford anymore !! He uses his money for lunches DVDs crap basically

Now he's got the bright idea he wants a bigger house he suggests I rent this one out and use that to pay the mortgage and use my savings for a deposit It would also be in joint names which I'm not domftable about when I'm the one paying everything

Ive said until he comes home with half the deposit and proves he can pay half the bills in this house no way he thinks iabu as he wants a bigger house

I feel like shouting go out apply for better jobs , all he does with his days off is lie in bed and play play station he does no housework and no Childcare AT ALL

I would love to get a job but can't justify the Childcare costs ATM and his days off can be anytime he can be working evenings, weekends, days so there's no way of planning it in advance

Aibu saying no Im not entertaining the idea of moving?

How long have you been together?

I think the appropriate term here is 'cocklodger'

...and YANBU, but then you already know that :)

7 years it's got worse as times gone on didn't start out this way....

Oh dear :(

What does he say when you tell him to pull his weight with housework/childcare?

YANBU. I am struggling to see what's in this relationship for you at all. Why doesn't he want to help out more, especially if he works three days a week?

He does no housework, he does no childcare, he wants you to mortgage yourself and he gets the benefit, he doesn't contribute financially. Please tell me he looks like George Clooney and is fabulous in bed.

ok well you need to sit down with him and work something out that suits you both

yadnbu to say no to him as it stands

I would say to him that you need to start splitting ALL bills equally, and he needs to pull his weight with housework etc to start with

Haha mrsterry no

He just doesn't see why he should help I think he was brought up with his mother doing everything and he thinks he can't manage / doesn't see why he should
He doesn't see that if you leave socks under the couch someone needs to wash them, if you use a plate it doesn't magic into the dishwasher, that I would sometimes like a lie in

A couple of people have all questioned it all recently and I'm thinking more about it and getting more pissed off...

I drew up a spreadsheet with the bills I pay vs him he wouldn't discuss it just murmured agreement or beats on about how it's not his fault he doesn't earn enough if I bring it up ...

Blimey! YANBU!

Hes a lazy free loader.

god.

i would get rid

Stop picking up after the lazy fucker!

cock lodger

is it a golden one ?

it must be...

OP is there a reason you let him treat you this way?

I second Jareth's cocklodger!

You are paying all the bills, doing all the housework, and all the childcare.

What is the point of him?

He is a drain on your resources, he contributes nothing, and now he's trying to convince you to give him half a big house for free?

Tell him to fuck off.

And then get him to leave your house.

How can you have any respect for someone so lazy and useless?

Why are you letting him use you like this?

800 disposable income (which is what he basically has) is loads. What an ungrateful little turd.

What exactly does he bring to the table in this relationship if it's not George clooney good looks

That's what I was thinking Grobags??

yanbu at all OP. i would not bude from your terms. they are perfectly reasonable. why should he not have to contribute anything to his home?

For the love of god don't do it!

bude = budge

Fear of being alone I suppose I have little to no freinds and no family the only time I get a break is when my mil takes the kids mabey 3/4 times a year for a night

I bet he knows that too. Don't let him push you into funding his life so he has money to play with.

I love the term 'cocklodger'. Honestly, he sounds like a freeloader. He may want a bigger house, but you to foot the bill and sign half of everything you have to him. I wouldn't have a joint name on anything with him, tbh. I wouldn't trust him especially since he is very selfish with money now.

Say you want a joint bank account. You live together with kids, your money should be completely shared or he can find himself somewhere else to live, youd be financially better off. If he is this selfish towards you and his own children about basic things like food and housing then what else is he selfish about?

If you made him leave, presumably he would want access so you might actually get more time to yourself to make friends and possibly work, if you wanted. If you aren't ready to get rid, whatever you do don't give him half a free house and rent your own out. He is taking the piss.