Startingagain trying to move forward, without nightmare EXP

[startingagain88]

New thread for my ongoing journey of trying to detached from my nightmare, exp while trying to hold on to my sanity :(

Old thread here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1437647-Starting-Again-Moving-Forward-Onwards-and-Upwards

Hello, Starting. It's great to hear you sounding so on top of things.

The silly tart. I suppose they're clutching at straws now, trying to put you in the role of harasser rather than harassee. Can't imagine what they think they've got to gain by such tactics, especially when they've left such a vicious text-trail. One can only presume they have killed off all but a handful of their brain cells with alcohol. Losers.

Don't suppose you'll ever know the truth about the pair of them, but it doesn't really matter any more, does it? You're getting on just fine

Starting, you have so many reasons to be incredibly proud of yourself; I hope you are!

Oh Starting I love to read the laughter in your voice (IYKWIM). You sound great at the moment and WTAF about not being able to drive past the end of her road? If anything that shows how much of a mess she is and how strong you are when it obviously doesn't even cross your mind to drive there!

You are fab :)

Yay for you :o So glad you can laugh at their nutcase behaviour now instead of being upset! I can't believe he is still pretending they have split up and trying to get your sympathy so you will give him money! You can see them for the pair of mad, selfish, lying twats that they are now. They wholly deserve each other :)

Ha! "I've totally split up with her, it was all a mistake, we're not even in touch any more, and by the way she asked me to ring you up at midnight to tell you..."

and

"I made such a mistake, it's you I really love, please can we get together, and I'm going to take you to court for half your assets"

Planet Ex is a strange, confusing place.

You are doing really well.

I would contact the police to log these abusive texts.

Another person here asking you to log the texts with the police, because I suspect you may need to get your retaliation in first.

They've not split up. If you spoke with him and within 10 minutes she was texting you from his phone - in the early hours of the morning - they're clearing spending the night together and she was there when you spoke. When he was giving you his spiel about missing you, the OW being a mistake etc, she was there, listening in. And he's still pursuing you via his solicitor.

So why is he doing this? The stuff about driving past her house is bizarre, but she's nasty enough by the sound of it to make a harassment complaint against you. And you've played into their hands by calling him after midnight. They could easily claim that you made an abusive call to them in the early hours - do you see how your innocent actions could be made to look?

It may not help their legal case to portray you as a mad obsessive irrational ex on ADs, but they don't know that, and they've both shown themselves up to be nasty unscrupulous people. They may just want to put the boot in.

You've already been in touch with the police about his behaviour and they've logged previous incidents. A nice chat with the local PCSO right now updating them on the situation won't do you any harm at all.

Sorry to be paranoid, but err on the side of caution please.

I agree honey - tell the police about the texts & accusations because you drove near her road. Protect & ignore!

Afternoon. Just checking in for my weekly update???

Has Arsewipe disappeared? Is collaborate going in all our address books just in case?

Hi starting, just checking in to see how you are getting on.

How's it going Starting?

Hi Everyone!!,

I haven't been on Mumsnet for a couple of weeks, so i thought i would just post an update! I also need to read some threads and see what's been going on!!

Thank you everyone so much for your ongoing support and concern.......

Work has been going well...nice to be earning some money again......been out for a few drinks with colleagues etc....

Still have bad days about once a week where i feel very sorry for myself and cry until i get bored of feeling crap and pull myself together and i do feel lonely at times- but i am feeling much stronger!

My friend is giving me sailing lessons, im going to a festival this summer....going to book a holiday soon (dont know where yet!!), also going tup north to visit an old friend which i haven't seen for a while, and down to London to see brother and family!

Arsewipe update.....latest is that he has run out of money for the case re the house etc and has uninstructed his solicitor, he has been applying for lots for loans trying to get more money together ( he has been working so i don't know where all money has gone), he has split up with OW, im pretty sure this is true as he has been staying at a wino mates for the last few weeks.

This weekend he has text me again wanting to meet and be 'friends', he has been an idiot, he is sorry, he wants to sort things out (he wants money) etc etc...i have said no.....the latest today is a text saying that he is going to kill himself and that noone cares about him!

Jesus- where the hell was he when i felt like ending it all after he left???screwing the OW thats where!! he didnt give a toss about me or how i was coping. Now that things are going crap for him and the honeymoon is over- he wants help from me !! Lol- im presuming this is part of the script?? I am ignoring this attempt at pulling my heartstrings but I do feel like a bit of a hard cow though!!!

Hi starting - you are not a hard cow! Neither are you his mother who has to rescue him. Ignore the fuckwit! So glad your life is going well. at him running out of money to sue you!

I know Midwife, you are right as always :) ....i cant seem to help it though, im used to 'saving' him, its a habit i am trying hard to break ! :)

Ah ha but I'm not always right about my own life sadly but in this I think I am. Can't he just bloody give up & fuck off now??!!! It's been months!!!

Hurrah for your social life Starting! As for twunt, do you really want to be involved with him in any way (and I mean in contact, having him calling or coming over let alone in debt to you for money)?? You are right - he's only doing this because he can't get money out of you any other way. I'm sure he tried this before didn't he, when he was still with OW? Being all nice and then when you didn't play along with his game he went right back to being a bastard.

He fucked up. He deserved nothing from you even before he started shagging around and cheating on you, let alone once he did that.

Can't wait to hear about your holiday plans btw! :)

Btw - threatening to kill himself - how old is he - 13?!!!!

Hard cow? You? Not hard enough by half!

He's going to kill himself? I seem to recall he nicked your hose so all you need to do is send him 200 paracetamol and a 10' length of rope and you'll have your bases covered

As for meeting up with him, remember what happened last time you met him for a drink...?

To state the bleedin' obvious, he's trying to tug on your heartstrings to get to your purse. Give him an inch and he'll velcro himself to you.

His behaviour is tediously predictable part of the script. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Don't reply to any texts from him, don't send even a 'no' or the more apt standard mumsnet response of 'fuck off to the far side of fuck and when you get there fuck off some more'.

Don't even bother replying - just ignore his texts. He will get the message eventually.

Thanks South and Midwife- i know i owe him absolutely nothing, and he is certainly not getting any money out of me, but i must admit it did upset me when he said he was going to kill myself :( he made me feel guilty!!- even though this whole mess is his own doing-Old habits and all that ! :)

The only way to 'save him' is to let him go and do what he wants.

He won't kill himself he to selfish for that.

I glad your job is going well as is your new social life, don't let him drag you down again.

Enjoy your sailing.

Next time he texts you why not reply "Who's that?" Then when he replies "Twunt" just say "Oh I thought you were dead so I deleted your number!"

Hey Starting

Nice to see things are going pretty well for you. Stay strong. You know your life is so much better without this dick in it.

Arsewipe update.....latest is that he has run out of money for the case re the house etc and has uninstructed his solicitor, he has been applying for lots for loans trying to get more money together This is fantastic news Not a surprise though. Thank god you returned those letters to sender and didn't hand them on!!!!

Can I just say

I damn well love MN sometimes. When I think how you were when you first posted. The heartbreak, loss and fear over losing your house you were suffering. I know most of us couldn't be there in person to help, the few who could are amazing to give up their time, energy and love for an internet stranger.

You have come such an amazing distance from when you first posted.

Lol at midwife!

Yes ignore him, those who threaten it are just attention seeking...

He created the mess that is now his life so let him get on with it snd stand firm :)

A word to the wise, honey: it's not unknown for twunts whose pleas have fallen on deaf ears to pull attention seeking stunts.

This may take the form of texts/phone calls claiming they're about to jump off a bridge, walk across a motorway, dangle themselves from a rope long enough for their toes to stay in contact with the ground, swallow a bunch of pills, etc.

It's all bollocks; they have no intention of harming themselves and every intention of getting their hapless victims to do their bidding.

If you should get a knock on the door in the middle of the night from the police or a call which purports to come from a hospital saying that Mr X has tried to top himself, simply say that this is his latest attempt to harass you and that, under the circumstances, you have no desire to see him unless it's essential for identification purposes.

Rest assured that, in the unlikely event that he is hospitalised, he'll receive the appropriate care and treament without need for any assistance or visits from you - in fact your absence is likely to speed his recovery and ensure that the emergency services are not inconvenienced again.