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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Startingagain trying to move forward, without nightmare EXP

782 replies

startingagain88 · 15/05/2012 14:46

New thread for my ongoing journey of trying to detached from my nightmare, exp while trying to hold on to my sanity :(

Old thread here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1437647-Starting-Again-Moving-Forward-Onwards-and-Upwards

OP posts:
Thermalsocks · 27/05/2012 20:39

So good to hear that you are feeling so positive Starting.

Envy at meal by the sea!

Also loving "arsewipe"!
Bet he was shitting himself when he was spotted.

I don't really know and I'm sure he doesn't either whether it might affect his claim on your house, that he willingly left your house with the intention of setting up residence with OW.

What a match made in heaven!

Go Starting!

wheredidiputit · 28/05/2012 11:03

Hope your job is going well today.

Glad you have had a good weekend with friends.

PooPooInMyToes · 28/05/2012 11:15

Oh my god, he's back with her! If they ever really split that is. Fuck sake he's a dick!

JaxTellerIsMyFriend · 28/05/2012 11:19

Isnt he just! poopoo

a complete and utter cocklodger, dickhead, arsewipe... anyone seeing a theme here? Grin

PooPooInMyToes · 28/05/2012 11:30

What a cuntfaced floppydicked twat!

midwife99 · 28/05/2012 13:48

Language poopoo!! Grin

Original poster
startingagain88 · 28/05/2012 14:17

Thanks for the support everyone ! Grin

Another gorgeous day :)

In the post this morning was a letter with 'Tesco Loans' on the front of the envelope, addressed to arsewipe.......he hasn't got a Tesco loan so he must have applied for one (to take me to court no doubt) and given my house as his current address!!-Any ideas what to do....?

I also don't think he has been paying his car and credit card as they keep leaving messages on my answer phone for him!

OP posts:
crabbyoldbat · 28/05/2012 14:20

a letter with 'Tesco Loans' on the front
It's possible that it's just a circular. Don't open it, obviously. I'd save up any post for him for a week at a time and either send it to his mum's (if it's likely he's staying there or is in regular touch) or send it via your solicitor to his solicitor.

Helltotheno · 28/05/2012 14:20

Back in the letter box with a 'Not known at this address'. That should ensure he never gets it :) He doesn't live there any more and didn't re-direct his post - not your problem...

mummytime · 28/05/2012 14:20

Mark the loan one as return to sender ( not resident at this address). I would also write to car and credit card company telling them he doesn't live there. Keep records and I would check your credit rating (free service) now and in a few months.

midwife99 · 28/05/2012 14:21

Write not known at this address on the letter & return to sender. Then he will not qualify for the loan. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES PASS THE POST ON TO HIM! If you answer the phone to any creditors tell them he left on such & such a date & give them his mobile number & ow's address if you can track it down or failing that parents address.

midwife99 · 28/05/2012 14:22

If you give him the letter he can then validate the loan from your address.

only4tonight · 28/05/2012 14:32

I agree with the return to sender approach but also inform the companies you know about that he no longer lives at your house, the date he left on and (if you really want to rub it in) provide them with the name and address of his solicitor (that should rack up the bill a bit)

Original poster
startingagain88 · 28/05/2012 14:33

Thanks all, I do know where the OW lives - down to a couple of houses and i know her name- so i could easily find the correct address.

Do you think i should give his creditors his new address?- Im worried that if he defaults on his car, cc etc that it will affect MY credit rating Hmm, but then again i dont want to come across as a bitch who is trying to drop him in it IYKWIM.

OP posts:
midwife99 · 28/05/2012 14:34

Oooh yeah only4 - refer creditors to his solicitor!!!

Original poster
startingagain88 · 28/05/2012 14:36

Only4- can I do that?- That would be really evil Grin- but i suppose if he doesnt want to give me his new address...........Grin

OP posts:
Wrongbow · 28/05/2012 14:37

I think that's a brilliant idea :o

RoxyRobin · 28/05/2012 14:41

Hello, Starting!

Agree with midwife.

It's like watching a slo-mo car crash - his life is going to descend into chaos! He will rue the day.

I'm off to Sainsbugs - should I pick up some popcorn?

RoxyRobin · 28/05/2012 14:43

Grin at o4t

Xales · 28/05/2012 14:47

Return all mail to sender as moved away. Don't hand it over to him

He has had weeks to change his address with all of them. It is a connection to your property!

If you have the credit companies details yes! Call them up and tell them he has moved.

KirstyWirsty · 28/05/2012 14:48

I agree - send the loan with one not known at this adress and return to sender

The rest just pass to his solicitor ...x

Xales · 28/05/2012 14:49

PS no one would ever think you are a bitch trying to drop him in it. You are doing the sensible thing to protect yourself from his being a complete wanker.

If any bills are in his name get new accounts in your name. Everything and anything to stop him having a connection to your assets!

southlundon · 28/05/2012 14:50

Afternoon Starting - I agree with giving them the solicitor's address to pass things onto him. Not because it's an evil thing to do but because it really is the only option you have, isn't it?

I mean, you don't actually know his new address, do you? You shouldn't have to find it out for his sake.

Grin
TheLastNameLeft · 28/05/2012 14:53

If any bills are in his name get new accounts in your name. Everything and anything to stop him having a connection to your assets!

THIS! please get him completely removed from the house asap, especially if he is asking for loans and such like!

crabbyoldbat · 28/05/2012 14:57

Okay, I take it back - returning to sender, telling people he no longer lives there and that the only address you have is his solicitor is the way to go. No need to find out his address. As for phone calls - I wonder if you should pass on the only number you have for him?