Startingagain trying to move forward, without nightmare EXP

[startingagain88]

New thread for my ongoing journey of trying to detached from my nightmare, exp while trying to hold on to my sanity :(

Old thread here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1437647-Starting-Again-Moving-Forward-Onwards-and-Upwards

Yep, sounds like a plan midwife, although I strongly suspect when legal try to unpick his laughable "case" it wont get that far.

Thanks, Last. I'm not sure it's worth the trouble of finding out just in case the judge thinks it's an insight into his character, which I doubt would be taken much into account in this sort of case- it's about who's got a legal right to what, I think. (i.e. Starting = pretty much everything, him = nothing) Still, it's up to starting.

Its not just an insight into his character though crabby, it will be the fact that he believes he is entitled to half (all of a sudden) but what has he actually done to secure those assets.

The answer is "nothing"... fact is he was the one who left starting, she didnt chuck him out remember.

If he was so certain he was owed anything from the relationship he would/should have sorted that out before leaving.

Getting subsequently married to the OW is evidence he had "moved on" with no further claims to anything owned by starting.

This will be interesting to a judge in court.

Getting subsequently married to the OW is evidence he had "moved on" with no further claims to anything owned by starting

Good point

hi Starting i go away on my holiday for a week or so and when i come back all hell has let loose!! :)

Glad to see you're stronger and fighting - the twatfaced idiot.

I bet he's expecting you to respond to his crazy request now - he's expecting you to get upset or shout or whatever - my advice would to maintain a dignified silence - that will flummox him as he won't know how to react - he may end up having to ask if you got the solicitors letter and then i would just "oh, that, yes my solicitor is dealing with it"
You don't have to stoop to his level and you don't owe him anything - HE owes you.

While the letter demanding 50% of everything is chancing his arm, I wouldn't be surprised if lover-boy made another, more contrite appearance on Starting's doorstep, blaming it all on the nasty solicitor (just as the horrible texts were the OW's fault). He's soooooo sorry, and doesn't want half of everything really and it's all got terribly out of hand. All he needs is £X amount to start again and he'll be gone forever. You'll just need to compromise and because you still love him, and you've had 15 years together you owe him something, just a few thousand, pretty please etc etc.

Flame thrower at the ready!

I wouldnt be surprised either catkins

Yep that's how it'll go -especially when he finds out that it'll cost too much for his solicitor to do anything more on such a flimsy case

Yes the solicitor will refuse to act further without payment on account MONTHLY!

I agree, you havent seen the last of him playing the 'little boy lost' card.

Tell him to fuck off to the far side of fuck and when he gets there to fuck off some more. And you CAN quote me on that.

I would certainly pose the question to your solicitor whether you should counter claim against the van and merc. I wouldn't bother about 50% though, go the whole hog and claim 100%.

We'll all be lining up with pompoms to wave at this rate.

So you paid for his van?

Could you not reply saying he has no legal standing to any of your assets but as a gesture of goodwill you won't make him pay you back the cost of the van?

there's no risk, is there, that starting having paid for all that on a no-strings basis might actually strengthen his claim of "common intention"?

How's things Starting? Did you respond to the letter?

xx

I dont think so ponders it will just show what a greedy, cocklodging, scrounging eejit he is.

I am sure someone on legal will help starting if she needs 'wording' and she also has what sounds like a decent solicitor.

Aye up chuck, you ok?

Hi Starting. Was also just wondering how you were.

Hope you are managing to feel a bit calmer and more peaceful.

Once things have got to this stage ie. in the hands of solicitors, I think it is easier to detach a bit -- you are in their hands now and there is nothing you can really do for the time being.

So I hope you are focusing on getting ready for your new job.

Not sure if this has all been pointed out before but I just read this:-
www.lawontheweb.co.uk/family_law/cohabitation

If you read it from the perspective of your EXP, there isn't much to gain comfort in it.
"However, their (co-habiting) relationship with one another is not recognised as having any legal standing, and they have no special status in the eyes of the English legal system....

If you have just been living together then you should be aware that there is no such thing in English law as a "common law wife" (or husband for that matter). If you live together and your relationship breaks down then it is each man or woman for themselves."
It goes onto say that to protect himself, your ex should have:-

1. Made sure the house was in joint names nope-
2. Set up a simple Cohabitation/Living Together agreement nope
3. Made joint wills did you?

Then it says if the above wasn't done, he might have a case if you'd made an agreement (but he'd have to prove it), contributed financially or put up some money towards the deposit no, no, no

Anything else will be extremely expensive and time-consuming to address through the courts... but he's broke

So, the advice you are getting here is very good... drag it out, push his costs up and leave your lawyer to get on with it.

Meredeux is correct! Jog on twunt!

Yep, jog on..and when you get here jog on some more!

Thinking of you starting, need to hear you are ok

Long time lurker here but another cheerleader, your doing fab hope your ok

Another one who is wondering how you are? Hopefully you have been out enjoying the lovely weather that we have had and not had any hassle from the twunt ex.

Hey starting.

How are you - haven't 'seen' you for a bit and hope all this is not getting on top of you. You okay?

Hope the sunshine is bringing you some fun in the sun at the seaside x

Been thinking about you, lovely girl.