He invited a female friend to our house while I was out

[NancyDrew123]

I have 8 week old twins. For the first time since they were born I went out for the day with my friends. When I got home my BF casually mentioned that a female friend who I haven't met had popped round to help him look after the children. He had prearranged the visit the day before but not said anything. She is married, had no children herself and lives five mins away. They have been on business trips together and he says he has known her for 18 years. This had not been mentioned before. I was very upset but he says I am insecure and slightly mad. I think he has no respect for me whatsoever. What should I do?

Bogey face I have... Just trying to see if it's just fatherhood or yep leave him now scenario. I do know someone whose partner left her after her twins were born for another woman, who he dumped at Christmas for yet another, had more kids with and is now alone and he is with another. So I hope it's not going to be like that for the op.

He does sound difficult but was he always like that? What do you want to do, op?

If the house is in joint names then a solicitor can get an occupation order, no court in the world would kick out a woman and baby twins in this situation. If it isnt then the OP needs a more long term plan so she can get out, and again a solicitor can help with that.

I've just been back to the house to try to have a conversation and find a resolution. He refused to even acknowledge my presence so I switched off the mains electric to get his attention and called him from my car. He has told me to leave the house, adding that he no longer wants a relationship with me because I am 'an evil, spiteful, twisted piece of sh@t'. I paid for half the house in cash and he raised his half with a mortgage. He won't leave. He has told me to speak to his mother who apparently is waiting to 'give it to me with both barrels'. He now says he can do much better than me.
I can't win.

I'm going to call time on this post and get some practical help now. Thanks again for all the advice. I need to find the strength to do something positive.

Oh God just get away from this vile man and his family.

Get some immediate legal help tomorrow as no one can force 8 week old twins to move, surely? He will have to go.

Well we can see where he gets it from, his mother sounds charming! dont contact her and dont engage if she contacts you, I bet he has spun some real lies about you so there is nothing to be gained from it.

You need to see a solicitor asap. He cant keep you from your home, as you own half of it. A solicitor will help you get him out and keep him out, and help you decide whether you want to sell or keep it going on your own.

Good luck

all the very best of luck, love

get this twisted fucker out of your life

seek that official RL help now x

All the best of luck - just want you to know that my previous advice way back at the beginning of the thread was based on this being a normally nice, trustworthy man, as I'd no reason at the time to suppose he was this flat-out nasty.

Yes see a solicitor. Stay strong, you deserve more than this.

I cant imagine how hard it is for anyone to go throught that, yet alone make that decision, when it involvies kids, but it looks like anyways that decision has been taken out of her hands. He has made it for her.

If you are being treated badly, you are being treated badly, if you have or dont have children. And empty threats are empty threaths no matter what your walk of life is. Every person on this planet will behave the same way to empty threaths. Children involved or not. The only case here is that there are children involved and they have to be looked after. They are the bottom lines.

Glad to see that you are getting practical help- seeing a solicitor is a good idea.

Please make sure that you log instances of threatening and abusive behaviour with the police too, if they occur.

A painful but very important lesson. It will hurt now but you seem very sensible and I'm sure you KNOW it will be better for your babies and you to get away from this manchild. As for his Mother - tell her to but out or to fuck off.

As the Mother of 2 boys, If I EVER behave this way I've told my friends to shoot me!