The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Are Going To Need A Bigger Bus!

[Mouseface]

Which is FANTASTIC!

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, I'm Mouse and I'm addicted to cheese, but have a pretty nasty relationship with alcohol too, mainly vodka.

This Bus is for anyone and everyone. Drinking or sober, or somewhere in between or just not sure if you're drinking too much........... this is the place to ask and maybe have a chat too.

No pressure, no judging, no cliquey savoury flans (although I'm rather partial to a cheese slice ), we're all on The Bus for the same reason; alcohol.

Even if it's not you, and you'd like to talk about someone you know, come and say hi. We won't bite, well, not unless you ask very nicely!

And, if you'd like to see our journey so far, follow THIS LINK and read back through the previous links there.

See you soon xx

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Just very quickly before I catch up.......

Mia - with a pre-pay meter from BG, they claim that you don't pay for/or it's virtually free electricity after 9pm M-F and after 4pm on a Sunday..... not sure how that works.

I've spoken with DH about it and asked if we could pay a chunk off and put it down to 'building costs' because that's what has pushed the bill right up. Maybe I should bill my stupid fuckwittery builder for it?

So the plan is to call them and discuss a chunk being paid off and keep our current credit metre. I have looked at The God Who Is Martin Lewis, he has saved me £££££££££££££££££'s already and we were on the best energy tariff available to us.

Not only that but I found out at 8pm on Friday night (don't ask ) that DWP are now paying my Disability Living Allowance to Furrows Motability. So I'm almost £300 short. The problem is, I am not in reciept of the car yet (more fuckwittery) so they shouldn't be taking the money, or the whole amount either, so more shouting for me on Monday morning......... why is it that some things just have to be a PITA?

So, the plan for today is to discuss all of this with BG, check in here now and then, put my washing line up! Whooooop whoooop and roast a chicken, salad for me and spuds for DH and DD.

Off to catch up with you all.........

Mouse xx

Ok Babes, big guns time so roll your sleeves up and stand by your beds!

Have decided to flee this rain soaked country for a week over half term to the Canaries.

Mucho excitement but wouldn't ya know it, the package is all inclusive ( and we all know what that means!!!!)

What to do? I have been having this mental argument for the last 3 days which goes along lines of "do I drink....don't I drink....don't I drink....do I drink".

I have managed to stay dry for 6 weeks but mainly because I'm living the life of a hermit. Real life now beckons and a big part of me is screaming "how can you go on holiday and not drink?!!

TBH social drinking is not my problem, I generally only ever have a couple of glasses - it is more the fear that I won't be able to stop when I get home & I slip into the 'kids inbed, wine open habit'

Any suggestions? I feel I have come so far but can't imagine going on hols without drinking.

HELP!!!!

sssm fan goes off too but it isn't hot.

sssm fan goes off too but it isn't hot.

lost my post argh

really wasn't saying we should beat each other up or call ppl failures and didn't realise it was glib to say we can be dishonest with ourselves over drink. I think me and my comments are out of place so it may be time to hand my ticket in.

SSSM pls could you pm me if you have laptop ideas? Cheers x

msgee if you're lurking hope all's well and you're still with me. Big waves at all who aren't posting but may be reading still. Tbom send us some sunshine x

lost my post argh

really wasn't saying we should beat each other up or call ppl failures and didn't realise it was glib to say we can be dishonest with ourselves over drink. I think me and my comments are out of place so it may be time to hand my ticket in.

SSSM pls could you pm me if you have laptop ideas? Cheers x

msgee if you're lurking hope all's well and you're still with me. Big waves at all who aren't posting but may be reading still. Tbom send us some sunshine x

Chasing, no real suggestions or experience of doing all-inclusive hols sober , sure someone will have though!

Saf, so it's not the monitor then. Can you start up in safe mode? (Usually you have to press and hold f8 whilst booting up.) Gives you more options and you can run diagnostic tests. However it may indeed be a power issue in which case the safe mode analysis won't help. Duff battery maybe?? PS this is all coming from DH, I haven't a clue what I am typing about...! Fingers crossed your laptop doesn't explode or anything

Just in car on way to beach . Sorry just saw your message Saf. Let us know how you get on

Afternoon all

Hiya saf and Thurso good to hear you're well.

Mouse what an arse about motability, I hope it's sorted pronto.

Hello to all the other Babes

Mouse what you said about children with SN having a light inside of them is so true - DD's little half-sis has been coughing so horribly all night that the household just can't sleep but I think she's a bit better today. She can speak a little (but can't form consonants, she sounds so sweet) and signs as well. There's something wrong with the tendons in her limbs so she can't straighten her arms and legs properly but still races around at the speed of light! She's also reliant on being tube-fed but is gradually learning to taste things and can swallow a little. I think they even had to move her heart when she was a baby because it was in the wrong place. She's come so far and even though she isn't my child, I love her to bits. She's got a place in a mainstream nursery in September and I'm so pleased for ex and his family.

SSSM thank you again for such a wonderful post. I'm going to try and find out about my poor great-aunt who died and at least discover her name. Have a lovely birthday day with DD, fully present and full of boing! Chasing that's a tough one, going on holiday and not knowing whether to avoid the booze. I'll have the same dilema in August but hopefully will be on antabuse so no decision to be made. Social drinking isn't really my issue either, it's the solitary stuff. But I find if I drink socially that dupes me into thinking I can drink sensibly all the time (even when alone) and that has proved time and time again to be utter bollocks! Sorry I can't be more help.

SAF don't you dare disappear, what you posted was right on the money and we need you. Mia I told DD about your snake, her eyes lit up, I just LOVE snakes she said, so I hope we can meet again (very rudely asking herself around for another visit). And of course the bus is a he, I completely forgot his name was Gerald! Perhaps one day we can hire one of those old double-deckers and go for a real-life jaunt somwhere - are there any teetotal towns left in the UK?:) And Grey Mia is as pretty in real-life as in her picture and so modest. Nice to hear from you Thurso too.

I'm rather worried at the moment that I'm relying too much on the benzos to keep anxiety about drinking at bay (which doesn't really seem to be working anyway cos I've gone from drinking every other day to every day now and more than a bottle). And I know they're a terrible mix. Will phone GP tomorrow to get my referral fast-tracked. Anyway, today will be out in the garden and may consult you Mia if I can't identify any of the so-called "weeds" we both seem to appreciate so much! Have a lovely day everyone xx

Saf I didn't realise you were talking about handing in your ticket. Please don't leave.

Don't leave Saf! Surely we can disagree sometimes without it making anyone 'wrong'?

I agree that one has to be careful not to offer too much reassurance to someone if the reality is that they need a frank opinion. However, I don't think that over reassurance is necessarily a damaging thing.

The battle with addiction is one that is very difficult and there are many bumps in the road. We all get it wrong sometimes. There have been times, if I'm honest, when I have tried to find reassurance about my drinking not being 'too bad' when the reality is very difference. Ultimately, it is up to us all to be responsible for our own lives.

On one of the older threads, someone (was it you Grey?) posted about seeking reassurance about drinking. Telling people at work that you have a couple of glasses every night or whatever, and hoping that they will respond in kind. That's the sort of reassurance that I was thinking of. Normalising alcohol dependency.

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Alkies are liars/Addicts Lie

That for me is true. Whether you are addicted to cheese or cocaine, you will lie to yourself and others, if you are addicted or dependant.

Deception, secrets, shame, embarrassment of what you do/are/need..... scared of judging minds, expectations that you don't live up to, hiding the real you, the truth, hiding from yourself.

Hands up who can HONESTLY say that they have NEVER EVER told a fib or two about how much they have had to drink? Or been deceitful another way about their drinking? Hands up who hasn't fibbed about eating that last chocolate biscuit or sneaking one of the DCs sweets/biscuits/chocolate bars?

Okay, so cheese and chocolate aren't on the scale of alcohol and drug addictions but I bet we've all been economical with the truth when it comes to our consumption of which ever one it is you choose to use.

I think that's the point that Saf was trying to make? Sorry if I'm wrong Saf and I definitely don't want you to leave this Bus. Your posts have helped me so much, you make a lot of sense to me......

I think Saf was saying that those who are addicts lie. And FWIW, she's right. I've lied in the past about what I have had to drink, to my GO, to my parents, to my DH, to my DD...... but the worst and most dangerous part of lying, is when you lie to yourself.

We all know that. That little voice in the back (or front) of your head saying that it's okay, no-one will know, see or hear.......

Lies hurt. On a massive scale

Mouse I'd ask British Gas to tell you the exact figures, if I were you, without any spin on it! That's a bugger about the motability company too - what a pain! I hope you get it sorted out.

Soma you're very kind! Bring your DD next time and she can meet the snake while we talk weeds.

Chasing ooh that's a tricky one about the all inclusive holiday. I don't know what to say really because I'm seriously lacking in self-control and couldn't contemplate a holiday that didn't involve wine. If there was a risk of you getting hammered and ruining the holiday with drunken antics or dreadful hangovers, then I'd say steer clear of alcohol completely. You said that you're comfortable only having a few glasses though, in which case I guess that you just have to judge whether you think it will affect your sobriety once you're home and back in your normal routine... you know that better than anyone.

Oh, and btw, I for one have stopped lying to myself. Yes I do still self medicate using alcohol for my pain on occasion, but now I use alcohol for physical pain, not emotional. That's made a HUGE difference to me.

It's made me see parts of myself that I really didn't like, but now, bot by bit, I am trying to understand why.

Time for dinner so I need to go and get Nemo in his PJs, dinner out and the laundry in from the line! I managed to only use the dryer for 20mins!

Be back tomorrow at some point lovely Babes.

I hope you stay Saf, this is a Bus for all school of thought. That's what makes it the Bus it is today.

Stay safe,

Mouse xx

Nowt to do with kindness Mia, felt I met a kindred spirit yesterday :) And we both have broken ankles!

Echo Mia's words exactly Chasing, only you can tell how a few drinks on holiday are going to affect your long-term sobriety.

I'm not being brave right now, not at all, and have progressed onto the gin which is bad news. I'm hoping someone out there will wave a magic wand and tell me how to stop but of course that's not going to happen. Drinking just makes me feel more present, if you know what I mean, but then of course I'm not, because I'm half-cut and not being myself. I think my brain is wired the wrong way, normality just doesn't cut it and I have to feel "out of it" just to get by. I will be ok though, because otherwise I'll be dead before my time and hurt so many people.

I have to share this with you, my great uncle Eddie, who died aged 32 from alcohilism at age 32 in the 1920s,, was begging fior a drink on this death bed.They all knew he was going to die, and soon, but denied him that one bit of comfort. It haunts me to think of his pain and the way his so-called family denied him that one little last piece of comfort. He was a clever man too, studying medicine, but he had the disease and it robbed him of his life.

Sorry to be maudlin, lots of love to all xx

Soma can you let me know what is happening wrt your prescription for antabuse? You know, matey, that this isn't a good step. When are you going back to the GP? Make that appointment. It's been a godsend for me.

well DD2 got through her audition and is IN. will be singing at the Glasgow Royal Concert hall in September if all goes to plan. major transport problems getting to evening rehearsals in Glasgow for the next few weeks. Any Babes know anyone, particularly in the Rutherglen area, who could provide a bed for the night for the next couple of thursdays until we sort something out?

Yay ma super well done to your DD. I am no use to you on the accommodation front (sorry) but give her a big hug from us all.

'bot' - ahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa, oh what a typo. I sound like the not French policeman in Allo Allo!

Night all xxx

Hopefully so glad you posted about this. I'm desperate for my RX for antabuse and was told I'd hear within two weeks. But that's nearly up and I've heard nothing. It's great to hear that it's working for you, will make sure I get some asap. x

MA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh I am so pleased for you, just saw your post!

That is fantastic, she has THE MOST AMAZING voice. It's like silk, gently blowing in the breeze but with just a hint of a hurricane waiting in the wings! Oh I am for you and her. Massive hugs to you both xxx

Mia - I've got it all covered, I've been looking at it all for most of the day. Will let you know what they say when I speak to a human tomorrow, thank you for caring so much. xx