sex while asleep

[silver999]

my partner woke me up by having sex with me, I was really shocked at what was happening and not sure what to do or think about what has happened.
I told my friend but she just laughed about it, any advice? thanks.

Oracle, As you said you and your husband have mutual respect for each other and therefore I assume that you are both aware about where your boundaries are.

White Gold, if someone is drunk and another person takes advantage then yes I think that would be rape, but if they are both drunk and can not remember giving consent than what?

I can only repeat that I do not under any circumstances condone violence of any kind against another person.

puffins,

jinx, I'm appalled. I really am.

have to leave this thread now.

Oh for gods sake jinx - if they are both drunk it is still rape. Drunkenness of either party is no legal defence to rape.

Puffin,

I'm really sorry for what happened to you and can only say that I hope you have managed to rebuild your life. Nobody should have to go though such a horrible experience.

My children are well aware that no matter as to how bad things are they can always come and talk to us. As a family we are very open about sex, intimacy, drink, drugs etc...

Jinx, you have pretty much sad here that you would not BELIEVE your own daughter if someone had sex with her without her consent and would leave it to the authorities to decide. Jesus fucking wept!

I am really hoping that Jinx is just doing this as a wind up. The alternative is too unpleasant.

I never said that I would not believe my own daughter. I believe my children, what I meant was that I would be more worried about the consequences of what had happened to her, what happened to the other party I would leave to the authorities. One can not take the law in to their own hands.

ok, so that was in response to my link. and you have totally missed the point.

a woman should be able to go to a party without being raped.
she should be able to wear what she likes without being raped.
she should be able to drink as much as she wants without being raped.
she should be able to go to sleep without being raped.

I thought,., given the conversation, it was pretty clear that I wasnt posting it to discuss what should happen to the attacker, but to make the point that what she was wearing/how much she had drunk/whether she had taken drugs/whether she had flirted/whether she had kissed or messed about with her rapist was irrelevant.

it is not up to the woman to prevent a rape.
it is up to the man.

consent is not murky. to say that it is, is rape apologist bullshit.

Since when does apportioning blame mean taking the law into your own hands? You'd tell you daughter what happened to her wasn't her fault, yes? Even if she or the rapist were both drunk? Please say that you would.

If someone is getting raped it is never their fault regardless if it is my child or someone else's.

Oracle,

Apologies for the misunderstanding.

Men can be victims of rape too, not only woman.

I know that I don't think anyone is disputing that.

I know that I don't think anyone is disputing that.

Or how its relevant.

Or how its relevant.

Although, it does raise an interesting point. A man who is sexually assaulted would not be blamed for being drunk, wearing tight clothes, or flirting.

Ok - this is probably ot anyway,

At my daughter's sports club a 17 year old boy was accused of raping his girlfriend who is/was also a member of the same club. It turned in to a huge stink with the dads getting arrested for fighting (which is how the rape accusation became common knowledge).

The boy was told to leave the club and not come back, nobody asked him for his side of the story or spoke to him about his feelings. It was not until 3 weeks later that a friend of the girl came forward and said that she had sent a text to her friend who had meantime also left the sport club to say that if she didn't come clean then she would tell all she knew. The girl then showed a message on her phone sent to her by the victim saying that she was going to accuse her boyfriend of rape because he had met another girl at his A-level college and was going to leave her, to show him a lesson!

Even after this came to light, there was very little or no sympathy for this 17 (nearly 18) year old boy. This boy made not have been raped but he is a victim too imho.

I think peoples experiences shape their opinion about things. Whatever you think, nothing I have written on this board was meant to offend or hurt someone's feelings.

Will not post anymore on this topic. I said what I had to say on the matter.

You have just posted yet another rape myth Jinx (have you done the full set yet?)

Did it go to the police, Jinx?

Just for Jinx who thought it was relevant to post a false rape allegation anecdote on here:

From MN We Believe You campaign:

MYTH: Women often lie about rape, and police officers and jurors should bear this in mind
REALITY: There is no research evidence that false allegations are more common than for many other crimes.
Home Office research indicates that between 3-8% of initial allegations are false, but that the lower figure is likely to be most accurate.(6)
Far from being widespread, malicious accusations are rare. A much greater problem in the criminal justice system is the under-reporting of rape - the government estimates that 89% of rapes are never reported to the police at all.(7)
In addition, only 5.3% of rapes reported to the police end in a conviction for rape - the lowest rate of any country in Europe, except for Ireland.(8)