Welcome to the Turning Tavern III

[Crushinghard]

A continuation of the TTII thread for women unexpectedly finding themselves attracted to other women.

thanks outmy, it helps to (possibly) understand her, but also I felt a lot of what you describe myself. I'm still scared (like you) that I will make my wiq 'horrified and sick' if I say something directly! As to you recognising your strong feelings after she showed attraction - that DOES give me hope, as it's EXACTLY what I'm trying to do with mine - give her confidence by showing how I feel (even though not saying it) and initiating meetings, offering help. If she feels anything that should make herrealise I see her as special, of course if she doesn't feel anything at all, it's a risk I'm barking up the wrong tree. But I have nothing to lose really to try this tack.
We dd lock eyes a few times, though it was just long looks not some obvious flirting and sexy looks! The good news she seems to participate in these more lately (i.e. doesn't look away as quickly as she used to). But with pauses and after a lobger chat she's the one who walks away and excuses herself (i.e. needs to do smth), no she doesn't apologise for havingnothingto say! she's not a soft apologetic type! So what it is, she holds eye conatct (and more so when drunk a bit) but then when it becomes a bit intense or the talk came to a halt and I'm just looking at her, then she excuses/walks away - possibly lsightly embarrassed but it's hard to tell 0 she cold be just thinking of not encouraging me in case i mean more..?
But now you aer not scared, are you? even though she's still being odd. And you didn't say what attarcts ytou most - looks or personality in her?

are you the same age as her? I'm a bit amazed that counsellor assured you that your wiq has strong feelings - quite risky for them to make these guesses! I don't understand if she came across SO strong why on earth didn't she talk to you, especially when you wrote a note?? Unless it purely to do with teacher thing. She,may be scared that you aer playing with her and not meaning anything seriously, but with the notes and asking her it would be too much if it was a game. I really think you need to approach and talk gently and if she's responsive talk more honestly after that. You have to assure her somehpw that you will never tell anyone at school! there is of course a chance that after all this time she may have met someone, in which case she'll at least agree to be on friendly terms, not this weird scenario.

of course it makes sense!!! I'm in exactly same boat - no experience, doubting myself, not confident in her reaction, hence still not told her how I feel directly! All i can do is gentle steps, but at least it's better than doing nothing (I just COULDN'T do nothing).

Likea did you miss the bit where out said, in response to outs letter to her saying that she fancied her, WIQ stated she is not gay and out had got the wrong end of the stick?

Just asking, as you do seem to put a lot of store but WIQs stating they are DNG

polly - did you also miss my q about your scan? as it was the end of a long post?
No, I haven't missed that, but te way she behaves is TOO much to be nothing. In the beginning she used to initite some trivial chats with outmy all the time, and brushed past her, and all this staring - and now I learned that eve nbthe counsellor thought her wiq had strong feeling from what out told them (possibly more deyail on here). It's the general feel I getaabout them two as well. But yes, there is a possibility that wiq is just a weirdo - I hope not - as no sane AND non-gay person would do all this over a long period of time. I think being a teacher where out's child is, can explain all this also though. If this is the case, outmy wouldn't lose anything by sasuring her that she will be discreet. She really has to weave it into the 'make peace' talk as she'll never know otherwise.
Outmy, don't worry about 'harassment' - she wouldn't complain about you just talking to her gently, as then they would want to hear your side of story and she wouldn't want that!! as far yo don't stalk her when she leaves school, it's fine .
polly what do you think if 'sweet of you' comments from my wiq, i'm not sure I like them!

more detail than on here*

of 'sweet..'

Likea yes I did misss your q about scan, haven't had it yet, it's not until next week.

TBreallyH, I think 'sweet of you' is a bit of a meh (for want of a better way of putting it) expression to use. If someone said it to me I would just think they were being nice for nice's sake, and not take it as meaning anything more than that.

But that's just the way I would take it; it's not an expression I would use. I guess it depends how it was said.

the same was her response to a few of my compliments previously. I prefer when she says 'thank you!' which she also does. But I'd really prefer if she either gave me a compliment for a change, or replied in a more serious way (like it was nice to hear it from me in paricular)..

Yes I'd agree with that, expressions such as 'sweet of you/nice of you' aren't very personal or specific - almost a bit of a light, throw-away compliment.

that's what i said - I wouldn't use it and it's 'meh', and can be used to anyone. Thiswas in texts so don't know the intonation. Of curse if she's being 'shy' abot the whole thing she cold use it just automatically rather than ignore me, but could be thinking more. AS i say, I'm building up to something more direct. The chat we had she did say she enjoyed without any prompting, also in text. And did say she's sorry bot to see me this weekend when I'm at her place looking after pets! At least she doesn't think I'm crazy as trusts me with pets!

Well that is a good sign! Most people are fussy about who they trust their pets to.

Got to collect DC now, will catch up later.

and not just pets, but also to be alone at her place!

yes, but she trusted me with them before. Not stayed on my own though before without other people present (of not herself).
Threre aer of course though longer eye contact looks. So not all reasts on 'sweet of you'.

rests on

polly, I did reply to her saying that I'm not sweet generally, and don't offer to do things to everyone, so she can think about it (if she wants to). As i say, I know now that she likes me and even trusts me with pets. but what i need to know is, does she feel anything!

Hi out I did hear my from WIQ wednesday night (mentioned a couple of pages back, but think you weren't around then). All fine, but she's working this weekend so said 'probably not' to a drink and I'm still feeling unwell and wouldn't want to go anyway........So that's one problem solved.

I did find out (from her) that she moved to this area (a few years back) because a female friend moved here. Must've been a very close friend to have moved a few hundred miles for But she didn't offer any more information and I didn't ask. She had been living in her previous area for years and continued travelling back there to work for quite some time.

I think your WIQ is actually behaving pretty badly and I can only put it down to two things - she has the hots for you, or she thinks you're a stalker. my head would've clean exploded by now in your shoes. My WIQ is bonkers but at least I've never had dirty looks to deal with.

I reall yknow what you mean by 'It was just HER if that makes sense, something about HER'. I can't explain my attraction to WIQ, she's not 'typically' attractive (one friend saw her once and said almost in horror 'you fancy that?) but i feel drawn to her like a leeming to a cliff.

Obviously I mean a LEMMING, a leeming is a newsreader called Jan from the 1980s. Absolutely not the same thing at all

yes, her email didn't advance things any, but I had literally just asked if she was free for a drink this weekend so I wasn't expecting a more chatty reply from her than that.

No, I don't think she is walking past you like she would anyone else. I think generally, if you feel someone is giving you the cold shoulder they probably are - we give away far more with our body language than we often realise. And yes, if there really is nothing bothering her, she should as your dcs ex teacher, acknowledge you politely if she passes you.

She did tell me who the close friend was/is, enough info for me to do a bit of 'research' if I've a mind I just thought it was a bit of a strange thing to do - I have very close friends that I've known donkey's years but I really can't imagine ever upping sticks and moving to a different part of the country, with no work to go to there, just because my friend had moved. But who knows...?

Hmmm the friend who came out with the 'you fancy that?' gem is now an ex friend - she didn't know i was a bit gay, and when she realised I was and I obviously had shocking taste to boot I was de-friended before I could say 'bugger me'.