The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To............... Amarillo?

[Mouseface]

.............. sorry, ran out of ideas tonight!

Hello, tis me, Mouse and I have a very abusive relationship with alcohol, vodka in particular.

Welcome to the Battle Bus, full of totally Brave Babes all on their own personal journey to sobriety. Some are there, some are still on their way and some aren't quite ready yet but stay on the Bus for a good old natter

Wherever you are in your quest to get back control of your drinking, we've all been there too so you're not alone, not by a long shot.

Come take a seat and say hello.

If you'd like to know the history behind this amazing journey, you can follow the links back HERE

See you soon x

Hello again, sorry got absorbed in telly. The cravings do pass don't they - I think that's a fact to really grasp hold of, that just because I really want a glass of wine now, doesn't mean I will in half an hour, or an hour or a day or whatever.

My day's been fine, thanks. I'm eating a bit too much still, but I've found it relatively easy to not drink this week. I hope that continues!

:) me too. Night Mia, night Babes.

Morning babes, another scorcher in Bangkok. 7am and 38 degrees already. Just back from the gym and dripping with sweat.

Today is going to be a good day for the Babes.

TBOM How do you manage not drinking on holiday?

Soma Yay! Delighted for you. You need to have 48 hours clear of drinking before starting the Antabuse.

Day 6 here. I've come to realise that drinking became somewhat lazily a reflex action. Need to balance my bank account? Yes but let's just pour a glass of wine first. And so on.

So I am sleeping properly but constantly tired. Antabuse does cause tiredness. Not too tired to function and far less emotional than I used to be, because drinking made me emotional. I'm also eating properly and putting some much-needed weight on. I was at least a stone underweight and looked gaunt and skeletal.

Hopefully I actually live here so not so much of the holiday mood. Actually, I've never really associated being on holiday with drinking - I'm a bit of a loner on holiday, and like visiting museums and stuff in cities, and reading and doing lots of watersports and spa treatments on beach holidays, so not stuff that goes with drinking lots. Not my personal trigger - I have a whole host of other ones

Keep ploughing through that tiredness - once you are off the Antabuse, you will be amazed at how much more energy you have if you are eating well and sleeping properly. I really notice now on the rare occassions I allow myself a drink how badly I sleep even after just 2 glasses of wine.

Soma so pleased your GP appt went well. Such a brave first step, well done.

Faire how are you doing today?

morning

tbom physical activity and humidity - yuk! well done. mind you if the gym has air con i might choose to live in there. i spent two months in thailand - i was swimming, walking, out and about all the time and didn't lose any weight. everywhere else i've travelled i lost loads without even noticing. and what it did to my hair!!! not a fan of humidity.

all good here - day 23. going to keep counting till a month - i like the sound of a month

really great share at the meeting last night, the guy was so honest and so... humble i guess. i opened up in return and had some sort of revelation about my drinking and what it is that has kept me afraid and hiding most of my life. got quite emotional but it was good i think.

right off before i waffle more. a new daytime meeting starts today and i'm meeting another member for coffee beforehand - she's at 3wks too so another very early days person and it's nice to be able to share it a bit.

Hi saf Gym has aircon, but I'm one of the only people in our building who uses it, so I have to turn it on when I go in, and it is only just cooling down by the end of my workout, so I normally don't bother. Actually, its a good thing sometimes - I can lose 2 pounds in water weight from a workout, which feels good when you step on the scales. Of course, it all goes straight back on when you gulp down some water, but, hey, it still puts a smile on my face

Emotion is good if it comes from a real place - am pleased your meetings are working well for you. DH couldn;t have come this far without AA.

Well, I fell into the sidecar rather spectacularly last night :( Will try again today.

morning, boing

TBOM your gym going in humidity is impressive I do like the idea of losing two pounds immediately though!

saf well done on the share, no doubt it was emotional but this is part of being sober I guess, facing up to our emotions. I am just getting there myself.

All ok here, had an emotional day yesterday, ended up sobbing to a client/friend on the phone but I think it did me some good. I am realising that I do need some grief counselling. One thing at a time though... this week I am tackling allergies and eczema. I am SO glad that I am not drinking - would be a crappy combination with the antihistamine and antibiotics. Still, I slept well last night.

Hope everyone has a good day xxx

(( Greyhound ))

Can you analyse what happened last night and put plans into place for tonight?

Want to talk about it? Or just forget about it?

MsGee yes to grief counselling if you feel it would help. Do you know how to access it?

Re eczema - you probably already have tried this, but I stick tonnes of oatmeal in DDs bath. have to shower her off afterwards, and use a lot of other stuff as well that isn't quite so benign, but it seems to help her keep the itching at bay and promote healing in combination with everything else.

And if you are really hungry, you can fish out the oatmeal at the end, stick some honey on it, and hey presto, breakfast

Oatmeal and warm water? Sounds like bathing in porridge. Not good

I've a mahoosive to-do list for today and tomorrow so may not be around much (although I can't help lurking whenever I stop for a moment).

Its gross - DD insists on wearing her pants when she's having an oatmeal bath - she's convinced she will have porridge in her vagina if she doesn't. But her skin is silky smooth and not itchy after the bath, which is bliss for her - the heat can really drive her eczema bonkers.

Am about to go and have treatment on a jellyfish sting where I appear to have a tentacle bit still stuck under the skin - not sure what it is, but I can feel a definite ridge, and it still stings like crazy two weeks after the sting. I may be some time :(

Morning babes, feel a bit like a weight has been lifted and have plenty of things lined up over the next few days in which drinking plays no part :)

Mia I'm an hour from London too (north) and in a lovely town but close to countryside. I wonder if we might be neighbours? Boss how long are you in BK - is it for work? Saf reaching day 23 without a drink is awesome and I know how great if feels when you're able to share at AA - the way people know exactly what you're talking about and smile and nod when you say something they can relate to. I haven't been this time round but am thinking about it, met some lovely people last time and a couple of great women in particular.

Hopefully I understand about the antabuse and need a blood test first apparently. I think you had one? Is it working how you expected, in that it's taken your mind off having a drink? And Greyhound the fact that you're here telling us that you drank is good. If you want to say what happened do, but if not take it easy today and be nice to yourself.

Well, need to catch up at work since I was off yesterday. But it was so important that I went to the GP and started my hopeful journey. Being properly present for DD is the most important thing, and I'll keep focusing on that. Catch you all later x

Grr name change fail. That was me up there hugging greyhound, never mind.

YY to the oats being wondereful for the skin. A good trick is to stuff them in an old stocking and tie a knot in it - no mess and you can use it as a wonderfully soothing 'sponge' to wash with too, as all the soft milky soothing stuff can be squeezed out.

Morning Babes. Woke up with a headache as usual - it's been fucking weeks now and I'm getting rather fed up with it.

Another wet grey day here but not feeling too bad. I've found this week much easier than last week; a combination of establishing the routine of not drinking during the week, I think, and my hormones no longer rendering me psychopathic now that I've started my period. I guess I'm adjusting to the lower dose of ADs too.

Soma I'm in Surrey, so south west of London. Not too far away from you though.

MsGee counselling sounds much more appropriate than CBT for what you're going through. Could your GP refer you?

saf it's hard to believe you're only 23 days sober when you sound so sorted and are making such huge strides emotionally. You're an inspiration!

Greyhound what happened?

Mia I keep waking up with a cracking headache as well, even though its been weeks since I've had a drink. Am getting soooo much sleep now, but still feel hungover & exhausted in the morning.

Am being vigilent in making sure I drink enough fluids during the day (water, coridal etc) so cannot possibly be dehydrated.

Why, why why, do mornings now feel worse sober than with a hangover???

Mia better a headache from not drinking than drinking. At least it's a virtuous headache.

I grew up just outside Guildford, my parents are still there. I love Surrey.

Hi all - thanks for your kind comments. Basically, I had planned not to drink last night and I did drink :( Dh said to me "I thought you were on the bus?" which made me feel bad. So, tonight, just for tonight, I will not drink. Tomorrow can take care of itself.

Morning everyone.

Sunny, well done on last night! Wow, sounds like that was hard. But you didn't give in! Bet you feel good today :)

Greyhound, hope you're feeling OK? Anything in particular trigger the fall into the sidecar? Would it help to talk about it?

MsGee, I'm shocked that your GP recommended CBT. Of course grief counselling would be more appropriate! Idiot! Well done for staying focused on the not drinking though. You and Saf are doing brilliantly :)

Soma, you sound so calm and hopeful. Wow. Well done you.

Mia, me too with the PMT. It's a killer isn't it? I get so incredibly tense before my period starts, with a frighteningly low mood. When my period starts it is such a huge relief, like I've just taken some amazingly effective horse tranquiliser or something :o Dreading this month's PMT :( I wish I could find a cure. Do let me know if you ever find anything that works!!

Chasing, I sometimes feel like that, too. When I first stopped the regular, heavy drinking, and when I started to sleep properly for the first time in years, it would take me ages to wake up properly. I'd feel fuzzy and sluggish for ages. When I was drinking I used to jump out of bed and be switched on and ready to go straight away (the crash would come later and I'd then feel like death for the rest of the day, so I wouldn't want to swap). I figured it's because I'm actually sleeping deeply, and my body (and, most importantly to me, my mind) is properly switching off, so I guess waking up will take a bit longer? It is weird feeling tireder when I am sleeping better, but it doesn't last all day, and it certainly beats the hangovers from hell so I ain't complaining :) Not sure about the headache though, but I think others have mentioned them in the early stages of giving up??

Well I hope everyone else is doing OK too. The sun's hiding behind a cloud today :( I'm still boinging though! I haven't drunk since Saturday and I feel so much better. And I haven't really had any cravings. Well, nothing that was difficult to manage/ignore anyway. You know when you're just in the right frame of mind to resist? That's me at the moment. I know it won't last but I might as well enjoy it while I can :o Well, best get off and tackle this huge pile of bills/letters/bumpf that needs sorting. Can hardly wait.

Have good days everyone

Cross-post, Greyhound. I think we've all been there. Never mind. Today's a new day :)

Thanks Silly. Well, I'd been a bit down the night before about a fairly serious bereavement - some years back, one of my sisters died and I suddenly remembered something sad that happened around the time she got ill. It wasn't anything major, but it was enough to have me crying into my pillow on Tuesday night. I think that's why I drank last night...

Oh, Greyhound, I'm really sorry to hear that :( That must be hard. Grief has had me crying myself to sleep, too, many years after the bereavement. Sorry, that doesn't help. I have found though, that when I drink it does tend to make me dwell on such sad things as grief, whereas if I'm sober and haven't been drinking for a good length of time, I seem to have more control over my mind. Sad, distressing thoughts can still be there, but I can sometimes find the strength to force myself not to keep thinking about them. When I'm not drinking I seem to be able to keep a sense of perspective a bit easier, and let sadness come and go rather than dominate my thoughts or my emotions. Sorry again about your sister x

Soma, I'm so pleased for you that you have taken that first major step. I can really sense the lifting of that despair that jumped out of the screen a couple of days ago!

Greyhound, one step backwards and two forwards; You've done it before, you can do it again. Just one day at a time, like you said :)

Day 7 for me, and I have begun to realise all the things my drinking has meant I miss. I spend proper, quality time with my DDs when they are here; I have played my piano (not done that for months), and started reading a book (ditto). I feel not only in control of my drinking, but all my must-dos as well. God, how much precious time I have squandered!

May even start an exercise program to tone up this flabby body. Already feel lighter and less bloated, and I'm sure my skin is better - let's see if anyone notices!

Plough on, Babes x