The Dating Thread - Part 12. How NOT to lose the will to live. Sense of humour essential!

[TimeForMeAndDD]

Good morning everyone! Had to start a new thread as the old one is no longer receiving posts.

Fill yer boots!

Sometimes the more you know about someone the note butterflies you get. I get butterflies thinking and talking about Mr just friends, like a stupid teenager. A man has to have that effect on me, they have to be able to make ne feel safe and comfortable. And confident. God knows where I suddenly got it from, but I got it.

Well I'm only 5' 3" and I'm heightist too. Mr Eum is 6' 3" and I quite like that, although Mondays groper was 6' 5" and that was a bit much.

Btw the 16 incher is in Huddersfield if anyone's interested. There must be someone on here who is willing to verify the claim

Not me though. I am very happily seeing what happens. I am actually dancing around, yep shame about ny taste in music little miss happy here. Lol.

Huddersfield???

Not me, although I could provide a tape measure if anyone needs it

A man with a SOH, or more likely delusional...

Left School with little qualifications. Took to life of Crime. Became London Underworlds most notorious figure before heading up one of South America's largest Cartels. Gave it all up to become a Peace broker for the U.N. where I single handedly negotiated a peace deal in the Far East. I've climbed K2. I've conquered Everest. I've Scuba dived to the deepest depths and discovered living organisms that man did not know existed. I've broken the land speed world record on a motorised skate board. I've cured the common cold and created the swine flu. I've base jumped from the Worlds highest buildings and Hand glided from the Worlds greatest Mountains. I've entered space and discovered a new Universe. I've advised the Diesel Fashion House on how to approach the younger market. I taught Tiger Woods how to improve his swing and David Beckham on how to cross a ball. I've played for Manchester United and have single handedly won the World Cup. I have run motorised engines on Water and have purified natural springs. I have re-created man from a single strand of Dolphins D.N.A. I have starred in numurous Block Busters and have won several Oscars. I have sailed the world in less than a week in an inflatable Dinghy. I've crossed the Sahara, barefoot with little Water. I have written 12 No.1 hits and have collected numerous Music awards. I have PHD's in Biology, Nuclear Physics and Bio-Chemistry. I have performed open-heart surgery in the street with only a blunt spoon and some 10mm copper piping. I have ski'd from the very tip of Mount Snowdon. I have slept overnight on the South Pole, with only a sheet. I have met Christ and discussed the meaning of Life. I have carried out Top secret missions for the MI5 and the SAS. I have caused Wars, and prevented them. I advised the Devil on fuel consumption and the effects on the environment (he wasn't too bothered?!) I have been Knighted. I have recieved the highest Medal of Honour from every Power Country in the World. I am an Academic. I am a Scholar. I am a prophet. I am very, very Bored!!!!!

I AM IN HUDDERSFIELD!!!! OMG, he might be the man who walks past my house, swinging his left leg out a lot bit and walks a bit lopsided! It could be him!

Time - I think you really need to volunteer here! (now I've got to go through all my PoF messages to see if I can find him)

I'm scared though hiding. I'm more accustomed to 5 6 inches and having to adopt the frozen chicken position. I wouldn't know what to do with 16 inches. Except stir my tea with it, whack the cat when she starts clawing the wallpaper, take photo's and post on here

But I wouldn't mind a look at the profile, just in case I have seen him limping about.

Aaaaw, I've just gone through all my messages and can't find him. I even searched through Huddersfield so I think he may have deleted his profile

Maybe I frightened him when I said I could go skipping with it!

I really should have asked for a photo shouldn't I....

@ I said I could go skipping with it!

I'm so glad I wasn't drinking at the time, my keyboard is in a bad enough state as it is.

I'm going to be eyeing all the men I see, warily now. Especially those skipping.

I have to say he was very fit as well. Sadly far too huge sweet for me. It's rather galling that of all the cock pics I have been sent I didn't get that one.

And wrt cock pics - who knew there was such a variety! And why on earth would you send a pic if it looks like an acorn

He was probably lying or shock horror had cosmetic enhancement, yep they really can do that now.

'A man with a SOH, or more likely delusional...'

I dunno, but he seems not to have heard of paragraphs...if someone cant be bothered with paragraphs I cant be bothered to wade thought it all

That is some resume, Angel, but as there's no mention of him having won professional and amateur Masterchef, developed a best selling vacuum cleaner and uses it regulary, ditto a steam iron, and has a loo you could eat your dinner on, I suggest you give him a miss

Maybe big oaks and all that, Hiding?

i havent read any posts. i am pissed as a dart.
i arrived before he did, he tuend up and liooked like his pic. fuck, as time can confirm he is lush, like, really lush.
i had a glass of wine, he had beer and we decided we were in it for th elight. my car is parked in some random street and i shall have to find it tomorrow. i got a taxi back.

shit, i wanted to fuck him. would have done so had i not had hairy legs and ran out of cash. he offered me a seatie into town ( or his house) and i got a taxi back to min on my own instrad. i regret this decidsion.,

did i say how lush he was. damn.
like, damn.

bugger. should hae had sex

have already sent him a message on pif to say it was fab. and i should have taken that seatie. i await the response.

did i mention he was fit as hell. and, after a cuddle but no snogging, had a body to die for, i could feel muscles.

we made a beer mat penis and im drunk on rum, he had dark hair and stubble. bar the lack of sex it was esentially an awesome night.

miracle, yes now I've had the butterfly thing once ithink in foun to keep looking I'll I find that again. he was the only one I had that with. but distance was too grea between us so couldn't work out.
this one today is definatley a no no. I won't be seeing him again. I said I didn't know when I was next free when he asked.
some one said earlier he was interviewing me for a post and i think they were right. he needs to have his other hip operated on and he said he is waiting till he has a girlfriend so she can help him dress etc!!! well that won't be me! if I wanted to be a nurse I would have done a different degree. he also must have googled my salary as he said I earnt more than him! omg! It wouldn't occur to me to do that. and asking me about getting married and moving house, whose would we live in If we moved in together!! he sent me running for the hills!!
his brother is 43, also no children and not married. I think they are a couple I mummies boys!

he was 6ft2 as well. dark hair and stubble. whyt the sit am in my house and not wheeling down a heill on a deatie as he suggested. fuck. stpud of me. for gods sake.

watchout; he was fit then! lol. I'm glad you had a better night than me! did you find him on POF did you say?!

he found me, with a dodgy as hell profile. its literallt blank and a purposley pixlated photo. His messages were insane, i assumed he was stonned or had mental health problems.

he had neither.

bollocks. i should be having sex, i curse a lack of cash points and wold werather.

arse, shit and fuck.

Watch, sounds amazing! Tall too ...swoon.

Tolly - think u made right decision. Needs a girlfriend to help with hip op? Discussing where ud live on 1st date? A big no.

Well, my eve was fun and had peck on lips at end but still nothing more. Don't know what to think!

tall and very good looking. i expect i will never see him again.

Watch, let us know if he replies to the pof message. Sounds like you had great time and should meet up again.