The Dating Thread - Part 12. How NOT to lose the will to live. Sense of humour essential!

[TimeForMeAndDD]

Good morning everyone! Had to start a new thread as the old one is no longer receiving posts.

Fill yer boots!

I don't think chasing others is attractive, he should be begging for more time with you. And if he isn't he therefore isn't worth it.

watch I'm hoping he isn't being a tosser, I am still giving him the benefit of the doubt. Hope he does turn up and you have a lovely evening.

Sponge don't take it to heart, he made it clear he isn't after a relationship so you are going into this with your eyes wide open. If you feel yourself becoming upset at the thought of him dating others then maybe it's best you don't get involved with him. It's not worth it if it's going to affect your self esteem.

I've been thinking some more about it...

It's generally accepted with the whole internet thing that you don't/can't assume exclusivity til you've had 'the talk'. Unless and until you have that convo, which could happen after 6 hours or 6 months, both parties are perfectly entitled to date or whatever other people, because you've not agreed otherwise.

We have only had one date, I have no claim on him whatsoever. And I know I'm being stupid because if I was asked on a date right now by someone I found attractive, I would go, irrespective of Saturday, because you have to keep your options open (which I guess is what he's doing). So total double standards/hypocrisy on my part.

And of course if he hadn't changed his profile he could have still been doing it anyway, only difference is I just wouldn't know. And it would depend then if I asked the question/if he gave an honest answer...

Absolutely sponge, everything you say it absolutely correct. Brilliant post and I'm proud of you

I've been thinking about your situation too watch, don't forget that when you left him after your first meeting, tonight was just supposed to be hanging out, not a romantic date. In the time since you you met you have been able to think about it further, you have decided you like him and that you might like there to be a bit more to it. BUT, he doesn't know that yet, as far as he is concerned, you are a mate to hang out with. When he gets to your place, only then will he find out what you have been thinking. So, I don't think it's fair to call him names at this stage, I think we need to give him a chance. And I hope that your absence from the thread indicates that he is getting that chance right now

Time thank you :) I feel a bit that you're proud of me, its like getting a sticker for good work at school

I've just been discussing it with a very lovely friend on FB and realised a) I'm being a bit princessy (not for the first time, tis over-indulged only child syndrome!) AND b) I am an idiot, because when he text me yesterday, as well as saying he was working all wkend, he said he wasn't working today. It did not occur to me for a second to take the day skive off, though I could easily have done, just didnt think!

Hi everyone! Just read all of this thread, don't think I've ever been this excited for people I don't know before

I'm single, and need to do more dating. Find that guys in there late twenties seem to be scared off by me having a DD, anyone else find that? Rarely have a babysitter, as DDs dad is a knob, and would rather use any time I have for girls nights out! But I am out at the weekend, and on the lookout. Met someone promising a couple of weeks ago, but he's pretty much only after sex. I prefer my FWBs to be people I know and already trust, so he's out of luck- unless I bump into him when pissed, in which case I reserve the right to change my mind

I hope you don't feel patronized?? I really mean it, I think you are trying really hard to take a more positive approach and that shows in your post, and that's why I'm proud of you You also seem to looking at your own behaviour, recognising areas where you could act/react differently and are making changes. It's fab Sponge!

I think your man is nice. Like watchs man, he has been open and honest with you, he isn't leading you on, he has been in touch, replied to your texts, so far he is doing everything right. Tis all good Can you skive take a day off work at a time when he is free, so that you can see him, soon!

Breakout you can only join our gang if you read all the other 11 threads. Before morning.

How soon do you tell the men you have a DD? I would keep that to myself for as long as possible. In fact, until just before the wedding. If you are only dating then there is no need for your DD to come into it at all so don't tell them. I don't declare about my DD, because you just never know who you are talking to

oh dear. the bloke I saw at the weekend texted me to Aalto go out again even though I'd said no last time. so I sent this

hi, since ive had more time to think about it I dont think we are really looking for the same things and therefore don't feel a third date would benefit either of us. it was nice to meet you but dont think things would develop between us. good luck on pof and hope you may meet some one who would suit you more.

he has since replied with this

hi. u ignorin me! Lol how is work? M

I have not replied. I know my message sent. should I just ignore?
why do I only get the weird ones wanting more dates :(

watch hope is all going well & he's not actually a fuckmuppet. time speaks her usual sense, far better than my knee jerk reaction. :)

Tolly ignore. Better still, block if you can.

Time god no, not at all! I've taken it as a massive compliment I'm trying to think 'around' things more recently, and to take on board a lot of the stuff I've read on here, which I think has helped.

The Scot is certainly very honest, which is something I value. He replies to my texts in minutes, and he volunteered that he was off today (even though I missed that possible hint!).

Also I have realised that I changed my profile at the weekend to basically say i wanted more dates ....

Tollys agree you should delete & block him. Some people just don't take even the least subtle hint.

Also hoping Watch's dates going well. Though I think she could have posted a half time update from the loo or something...

time, I will do. just a shame you can block them on POF from sending messages but they can still see you online. I might have to have a look at this okcupi site.
I had a reading by a medium last week who told me I would be introduced to some one through a friend and he was the one I would be with by the summer. apparently he is right under my nose.... well I wish he would bloody hurry up who ever he is!!

Sponge you make me laugh! Yes, you did change your profile and you never know, that might be why he changed his??? ooops!

And yes, I agree re watch, it's very inconsiderate of her to not to take the time to update us. She will be well sloshed by now

Tolly it really doesn't matter that he can see you are online. You are allowed to not see a man if you don't want to see him, you don't owe him anything. Don't feel you have to run away or hide from him, you are blocking him to stop the situation from getting out of hand. You sent him a lovely message fully explaining why you didn't want to see him again, the rest is for him to deal with, not you.

Time could be! Am going to stop worrying about it now. Will focus instead on fact he said yes to Saturday within a couple of mins of my text, so literally without hesitation, which is good enough for me

Where is Watch?! I think no news must be good news, if he'd turned up and acted all half-hearted I'm sure she would have bounced him out on his ear and updated us by now :)

Good! And it's not just good enough, it's great! He does sound really nice. Maybe you could talk him into a LDR

Yes, I'm getting pretty cross with watch, it's time he was going home now, it is a school night after all! and I wanted an update before I go to sleep!!!

hahaha re LDR. I've already told him I've been to Scotland once, it was cold and wet and I have no intention of going back I'm just hoping to get to a 3rd night of sex date!

I'm in meetings all day tomorrow so unless Watch updates us soon, I'll have to wait til tomorrow EVENING to find out what's happened! Not fair!

Sponge, I'm the same, dont like to think about someone I'm seeing having any other female interests, and yet am constantly updating my profile photo's and text so it's very hypocritical.

I think you just have to be tactful about these things, I'd never ask anyone if they were involved with other people, and I'd never mention other blokes to someone I was seeing.

I recently ended an arrangement with someone because he thought it was ok to ask me for advice on a woman he was interested in.
I was incensed
I knew we werent exclusive but I thought he was absolutely taking the piss.

Shame because the sex was red hot...but there you go

I too am wondering how watch's evening has been going....

We could just fill up the thread with....

*WAAAAaAaAaAaA-a-tttTTTCCCHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Updaaaaaate!

Biggest damp Squibb going. What the hell was I in.a tis for?

Didn't make a move, bar some juvunille comments.. still lives at home on a mattress on the floor!!!!!!!! Doesn't drive, works part Time..only likes sci fi. Doesn't have a gf, they are deciding in Sept. Possibly lacking in social skills Because hes baffled women he's talking to havre taken umbridfe when he told them he had a date.

Yes he looks nice, I possibly got over excited from no ginger.mullet. and maybe the rum.
A bottle of wine and I didn't fancy him..

Urgh, disapointing. Wouldn't date him.again if he asked.

oh no what a let down:( :(
how long did you have to put up with him for?

It's so easy to misjudge people!

I mean, how Fucking disapoining, i cleaned my. HoUse and shaved my.legs for nothing :(