CBT will help you give the tools to change, which is something you can do now.
You can analyse the reasons why he does what he does (controlling you) and how you "let" it happen.
You are not perfect, but you don't have to. That's the important part.
You have lived for so long trying to please this person that you have probably forgotten about yourself. Why don't you give yourself some "me" therapy.
Rediscover things you used to like, find new ones. Do things with your children that you didn't use to.
As for example getting lost. I love driving off the usual roads and finding new places and new routes. Yes, on purpose. :)
Same as walking. Do it sometimes with the children.
Make up some new recipes. Or try new ones.
Even paint a wall in some colour he doesn't like but you do.
It may seem childish, but it's part of developing your own personality again. Like all teenagers must have a rebellious phase to cut the cord from their parents.
Insist with your children that it's how it's done now, that this is your home and your rules. They are also under his control, remember that.
Even correct the language they use. In your house nobody is useless and people encourage each other instead of criticising. People discuss things instead of arguing.
One day at a time, like alc anon. You are not going back today. Or rather, you are free today. :)