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Original poster

Time wasters need not apply, Soul Soothers come hither Dating Chat Part 11

999 replies

hatesponge · 10/04/2012 21:22

Ta-da! Think this is the first one I've started.

I am still feeling somewhat feisty. Told my team off at work for being too noisy Blush and was generally stroppy. Might have to go and start a row in AIBU or something!

So, dating, as you were etc Grin

Not forgetting of course that I have a second date at the weekend!

OP posts:
ChickenSkin · 14/04/2012 17:20

12-15 kisses is way over the top for anyone! unless you're 14

Original poster
hatesponge · 14/04/2012 17:37

My Ex (not the Evil one I hasten to add) used to send me entire text messages of x's . Rows and rows of them. I quite liked it. Blush

Date in 2 hours Shock

Have already decided I am not bringing him back, as I have a lot to do tomorrow.

The fact he might not actually want to come back didn't occur to me until after I'd thought of the above...!

OP posts:
first1 · 14/04/2012 17:53

Hate - what you wearing?!

TimeForMeAndDD · 14/04/2012 18:17

Have a great evening Sponge Smile

AndLibbyMakesThree · 14/04/2012 18:18

Aaagh, I could do with some advice please!

Had my 3rd date with someone today (just coffee). But I'm still not sure if I like him! He's interesting and we have lots to talk about, and he seems like a decent person (seems to be a good dad, etc) but I'm just not sure if there's anything more than that. I told myself that I was going to decide today if I wanted to see him again (if he wants to see me, that is!) but I'm still not sure.

So ... any advice? Maybe if there's no real spark after 3 meetings, there's never going to be. Or should I meet him again, maybe with alcohol involved (it's always been coffee dates so far) and see what happens?

Any advice would be great as I'm rubbish at all this dating stuff.

Original poster
hatesponge · 14/04/2012 18:47

Am going for skinny jeans, blue/cream flowery top - better than it sounds! - and my v lovely high shoes.

So I will deffo be quite a bit taller than him :)

Libby do you look forward to seeing him between dates? do you feel any flicker of excitement when getting ready before your dates? If yes, then maybe an evening date would help. If not...I would probably give it up, it sounds as though you like him as a person but don't really fancy him. I know that's enough for some people but it wouldn't be for me.

OP posts:
MyLittleMiracle · 14/04/2012 18:47

My MOTO is friends first lovers second, in a relationship, unfortunately this tends to take longer but be more worth while. If we finish talking, he always sends a text of just a row of kisses back. And I do the same god I am starting to sound like a teenager now. LOL.

Snapespeare · 14/04/2012 18:50

Chicken pass Mr ghost hunter on to me if you don't feel a spark! He sounds glorious! :)

Hope you all have good dates tonight... I'm off to my theatre with girl chums! :)

MyLittleMiracle · 14/04/2012 18:51

I have been back home 20 minutes and already have someone wanting to come over. Nope, I am shattered, bath and bed with me.

TimeForMeAndDD · 14/04/2012 19:00

libby the problem with involving alcohol is that you might end up doing something you wish you hadn't once you are sober, and if that does happen, then you have got yourself in even deeper so no, I wouldn't involve alcohol. Maybe you are more destined to be friends than lovers? It is ok to 'like' someone, not in a romantic way Smile

Sponge Your outfit sounds lovely. Don't stay out too late that you can't update when you get in Grin

StellaBrillante · 14/04/2012 19:08

Have a great time sponge!!!

No response from sexyshorty but the other guy seems interested. Another 4 messages but nothing worth considering even if they did seem reasonably normal.

I've looked up local wine tasting evenings and there is one on 25th. I've emailed the venue to find out whether they ever get anyone turning up on their own. Two reasons for this: the friends who would enjoy this don't live locally and have very long working days so a midweek night out is out of the question. Also, I find that I do much better when I operate 'solo'. Well, i used to...the good old days. What do you think? Bad idea?

AndLibbyMakesThree · 14/04/2012 19:09

Thanks, sponge and time, for the advice.

Sponge - I think your outfit sounds lovely. You've made me realise that I really need to buy some heels... Hope you have a great evening.

My problem is that I'm quite shy and always seem to end up being "just friends" with men! So I'm wondering if a bit of alcohol might make me a bit more open to something happening? (I know it wouldn't go further than a kiss cos I'm a bit of a prude!)

Sponge, I do kind of look forward to seeing him/feel excited about seeing him, and I find his intelligence attractive. Wish he was taller though! (Shallow, I know).

Hmmm, think I'll wait and see if he contacts me again, and take it from there.

TimeForMeAndDD · 14/04/2012 19:22

Not shallow at all libby, it's fine to wish he was taller. Smile

The fact that nothing has happened between you must mean that he hasn't tried to make anything happen either? It doesn't sound as if you are shying away, just that things are not progressing in a 'romantic' way. But, you are on your third date so both of you must think the other is worth seeing again. I think I would continue seeing him and just see how it goes. If you are both a little shy it may just take things longer to kick off but there is nothing wrong with a slow start Smile. If he didn't like you, trust me, there wouldn't have been a second date, never mind a third! Grin

TimeForMeAndDD · 14/04/2012 19:24

libby perhaps make the next date somewhere a little more lively than a coffee shop, a bar perhaps, music and a bit of atmosphere might help Smile

AndLibbyMakesThree · 14/04/2012 19:46

I've been re-reading the last few pages of this thread and have realised I'm not the only one who likes a man to be taller, so don't feel so guilty about it now!

Time - yes, he hasn't tried to make anything happen, but he's given me a few compliments in e-mails. Have to admit I haven't responded to them (about from saying thanks!) as I didn't know what to say. And I think you're right - we need somewhere more lively/more suitable for flirting if there's another date.

Stella - wine tasting sounds great, but I guess it depends how many people go and what kind of ages they are. If they're very small events, there might not be a very high chance of meeting single men there.

TimeForMeAndDD · 14/04/2012 19:52

I quite like the sound of him libby, it makes a refreshing change to hear of a man not pushing for sex or anything but yet still be in touch. I would definitely see him again in a more lively environment and see if things progressed.

first1 · 14/04/2012 19:59

I think the bloke HAS to be taller by a good 4" to cover all heels eventualities!

Original poster
hatesponge · 14/04/2012 20:02

I'm still here, he didn't finish work til 7 Hmm. We are now meeting at 9...

OP posts:
AndLibbyMakesThree · 14/04/2012 20:09

First - yes, it's good if he's 4" taller or more. The man I've met is only an inch taller (if that) - not ideal.

Time - for some reason none of the men I meet seem to push for sex - must be something weird about me! Good thing really, though, as it would def put me off.

Hate - saw you'd posted and feared date had been cancelled. Glad to hear it's only postponed.

MyLittleMiracle · 14/04/2012 20:15

Some not most admittedly don't want to push themselves on you. They like to see what happens, and not misread signals, they like to see a girl who respects herself. Rather than just trying to jump into het knickers, that o think is far more attractive.

TimeForMeAndDD · 14/04/2012 20:21

Some of us taller ladies struggle to find a guy just 1" taller, never mind 4!

StellaBrillante · 14/04/2012 20:25

libby - agree with others that it may be worth trying to go for an evening date and see if you still feel in doubt. Ultimately, there needs to be a spark, doesn't it? And height does count in my books Grin

And thanks for the advice ref. wine tasting. I joined a local society a few months ago hoping to meet like-minded people. No offense to the older generation but everyone there was over twice my age (by far!). The evening started off with the chair person going through a list of people who had either passed away or were very ill and unable to attend. How morbid is that? At least 1/2 of the people present were fast asleep for most of the evening. Needless to say, I haven't been back since even though I had paid for a season... Shock - it gave my friends plenty to laugh about!

AndLibbyMakesThree · 14/04/2012 20:43

Stella - I'm sure it wasn't funny at the time, but I'm sorry, that's really made me laugh! But at least if anyone on this thread likes (much) older men, they'll know where to go now...

ChaoticAngel · 14/04/2012 21:32

That made me Grin too.

I have to admit, height wise, being 5ft 6in has its advantages. Tall enough to reach the top shelf in the supermarket but not so tall that I'm towering over/same height as a 6ft man when I'm wearing heels.

BrettDomino · 14/04/2012 22:08

Hello - can I join in please? Been dipping my toe in the online dating world and have managed one date (was not good) and conversations that seem to peter out. Or the person I am chatting with suddenly gets into the "what are you wearing?" routine and I stop chatting!

Have been using OK Cupid mostly - there are quite a few men who appear normal but then show inability to type in sentences or just say "I'm easy going" which I find rather dull. Not entirely sure I am really ready to do dating - have got rather too used to my own company but seeing as no one apart from the disasterous short estate agent have actually wanted to meet me, maybe this is coming across?

I send messages to lots of people and about 1 in 5 reply. Is a little demoralising tbh. Am 5 foot 4 and so don't think I'll have rhe problem of being taller although the Estate Agent came close Hmm