nothing can drag you down when you're not holding on...

[chocoraisin]

Hello :)

I've decided that blog or no blog, I can't imagine not having all of you fabulous people to turn to in the next couple of months while I count down to baby arriving. So I've jumped ship from the old thread and decided to set up camp here.

would anyone like a ?

Ohhhhhh Choco :) I have been thinking of you and your beautiful little family so so much!!! Have a wonderful restful weekend Choco-fantastic and we are sending so many love filled bubbles of blissful thoughts into the universe for you and the boys!

DS didn't speak to me for 4 days after DD came home bless him..its a lot for their little minds to take in.

Sounds like you are coping amazingly and I really hope you recover quickly!

Sending liver love to bean and hope he's ok :)

xxx

You do realise that it's you who is awesome????

Sending big brother hugs to your gorgeous ds1 who will soon love nothing more than bossing his little brother about the place! :o

hello!!

Just dropping in to say we are home, and it's fab to be back in our own patch. Baby bean is doing great, although he has dropped a bit of weight (under 6lb now) I have no doubt the wee munchkin will make up for that as he is an eating machine!

H visited every day we were in hospital for half an hour. Which was pretty much all I could deal with. The midwives were amazing, on the first day he visited the ward sister asked me if I was really ok with him being there and then when he left she came back to check on me - I put a brave face on it and said, at the end of the day, he is baby's dad. She looked at me and said very seriously, at the end of the day my love, he's a prick. I burst out laughing and cheered up immensely!! I do love midwives! He's not back now til the weekend so I have some breathing space to get on with bonding and recovering.

Speaking of bonding, I was watching my boys at bedtime tonight and I suddenly felt really complete. I love my little family. DS1 asked for a cuddle with DS2 and gave him a really careful, gentle kiss on the head. It was all rather beautiful until DS2 pooed in his lap and DS1 screwed up his nose and said smelly eewwwww POOOOOOO then promptly handed him back! I suspect my hands are going to be full and I'm going to be laughing a lot of the time with these two

Welcome home!

I love that midwife

Delighted you are all home well, safe and together.

Hope it's a fantastic start to your new chapter and that the ups and downs that come with babies are mostly ups :-)

Big Congratulations choco!

Welcome home Choco! Glad my midwifery colleagues have passed my message on about ex being a prick! I can imagine some other names they called him behind closed doors during handover! What was twunt like during the visits? No more trying to make you let him take baby off with ow?

no he was fine I suppose, although it felt a bit like he was visiting a cute nephew or something. I didn't really feel like we were on the same level (which I guess isn't surprising) but really it felt like he was about 10 years younger than me and a bit out of his depth which I didn't feel when I had DS1. I was feeling almost charitable towards him (in a 'treat him like a fun uncle' kind of way) right up until he dropped into conversation that he won't be coming down for his usual visit in a few weeks due to it being his last week at uni. He mumbled something about exams meaning he wouldn't be able to make it (on a friday afternoon? Unlikely. Was that a piss up, I heard you say? Dick.) He said he would 'call me about it, so we can sort out when he'll see them instead'.

Yeah, at that point I thought extremely uncharitable thoughts and switched off completely. Utterly selfish dick. I refuse to waste my energy. Also, I'm considering donating my wedding dress to Operation Sunshine. May as well wave it off to a good home!

Sorry the two last things were unrelated, other than I am cutting off the emotional and physical baggage at the same time - I am determined to not give one tiny little fart about the man as soon as possible.

Good for you - detach & ignore. He's pathetic. You on the other hand are the goddess of fertility & the little weasel literally quivers in your presence like a pubescent boy!

Congratulations on the birth of your son, wishing you and your boys all the best for the future

You've definitely got the measure of x-twunt now, he is immature in the extreme ... oh and I love your MW too! I welled up a bit reading that and about your gorgeous boys. You are indeed a perfect little family now Love to you all x

Oh choco it is so lovely that you are home andsnug with your lovely boys! P.s. Also.even relatively random strangers can see that he's a prick- that should be enough to convince us all, forever! :)

Glad you are at home and doing well xx

Delighted you're home and getting settled with your gorgeous handsome boys choco. You're doing an amazing job and "silly stupid sleaze-ball shit" as I call him is as pathetic as we suspected. If a pissup is more important than time with his sons then i thank the lord your boys have you as their mum. You on your own are amazing enough for the two of you xx

OMFG.

I refused H's request to switch days so he could hang out with uni friends. The response? Apparently my 'unreasonable' attitude by being so inflexible is going to 'impact on his ability to coparent in the future'. What a fucking dick!!! And, of course, now it's due to an exam that he 'needs' to switch days.

I'd hoped to keep lines of communication more open now that DS2 is here, so that we could work on building some bridges. I wanted to keep him more informed about how the baby is doing and had hoped he would show me some more respect. The baby is 7 days old FFS. :( He just sounds threatening and controlling and selfish.

I feel really :( and . I've replied, only to say I will no longer be reading his messages and if he sends anything with that tone again I will refer all contact back through my solicitor for the time being. Why can't he just recognise that I have just had his baby? It's been a fucking WEEK. I've had major surgery. And all he wants is to pressurise me to agree to meet his fucking schedule.

It's my thirtieth birthday tomorrow. I feel like absolute shite. So much for the things to do before you're thirty... top of my list of things to do before I'm forty is divorce the utter cunt.

why I let it hurt me so much that he behaves like this I don't know. I don't know why I persist in expecting more of someone who just treats me like shit all the time.

He sounds like he has complete lack of empathy and consideration for others - very much a narcissist.

I think formal contact and communication via solicitors is probably the only way forward - otherwise its years of this shit.

Just goes to show how much a crock horoscopes are as it is my STBX's 40th tomorrow .. how could you share the same character as that twunt ??

I am sure you will have a lovely birthday with your two boys and your family.

Looks like your ex is possibly setting up an escape strategy and plans for his inability to co-parent his sons will be surprise surprise all your fault!!

May i be the first to wish you a lovely and happy 30th xx

Ah sweetie I had a little cry on your behalf then. Your big 30 tomorrow, what you've been through these last months, only a week after your section & all that fucking cunt can do is bully you about contact. That's it - bring up the drawbridge & fuck him. Let your solicitor deal with him. Grrrrrrrrr!

Yes, Happy 30th Birthday Choco, a mere baby compared to my aged 40 years! LOL.

ignore the twunt. I had a text war with my STBXH tonight and won . I have now renamed him as twunt in my mobile, so I dont have to see his stupid name coming up all the time.

You look after yourself, you have had major surgery and a little baby to look after like you say.

Im sure you will get your wish long before your 40th birthday. Im hoping for mine as a Christmas Present! Or even an anniversary present (Oct).

Stay calm, strong and focused on DS's. xx

Blimey I'm 45 soon! Think on that! You've got time for at least 2 more ex twunts like me! Seriously though - hope your birthday is peaceful & comfortable & you are surrounded by people who love you.

thank you all - just had a big cry to my best friend down the phone, who got angry on my behalf and asked a very good question... how could he co-parent less? turn up less? pay less maintenance? It's not like he's in a strong bargaining position. She also let me know she's never hated anyone quite as passionately as she hates him, which shouldn't make me feel better but it does :)

Followed that up by breastfeeding for an hour and am now experiencing an oxytocin high that has cheered me up considerably. I will not let him ruin my time with our precious baby boys.

Thanks for the birthday wishes too - it feels very un-birthday like right now, but I will turn off my phone, leave the laptop off tomorrow and focus on all the things I have to be grateful for in the morning. After all, it's the start of a new decade, so I should start as I mean to go on and drop the dead weight of my twenties pronto!!

Ah Choco - brave as ever! Have a good night & hope DS2 lets you sleep!

Happy Birthday Choco!

Think you have done the perfect hing (as always) with your message to him. Big hug to your friend for being there for you in RL, as we all wish we were x

Happy birthday! Wishing you many happier and happier returns of.the day!
May your 30's be full of love, joy and happiness. And lacking one prick! :)

Hope you have a gorgeous day with your precious family, eating all the.cake a nursing mother requires!