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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

nothing can drag you down when you're not holding on...

942 replies

chocoraisin · 06/04/2012 21:03

Hello :)

I've decided that blog or no blog, I can't imagine not having all of you fabulous people to turn to in the next couple of months while I count down to baby arriving. So I've jumped ship from the old thread and decided to set up camp here.

would anyone like a Brew?

OP posts:
skyebluesapphire · 01/07/2012 16:22

Yuck gooseberries! Hate them too lol

MadAboutHotChoc · 01/07/2012 17:38

My DH and his sister's father was a disney dad (he left them for OW) - as adults they are far more appreciative of their Mother's constant nurturing presence. Relations weren't great and when he died a lonely old man, his estranged daughter refused to attend the funeral at which very few people turned up.

Karma eh?

blackcurrants · 01/07/2012 18:13

you DO need the cream! He needs it because little children actually need a surprising amount of fat, and you need it because it's delicious there's calcium and stuff. Grin

That sounds like a lovely pudding. I bought a 99cent box of ice cream cones from t'supermarket this week, and DS gets 'banana ice cream' cones once a day. It's magic cos it's just frozen bananas. Wait till they get really ripe, then at the point you think "urgh, should bin those or maybe bake with them" peel them and pop them in the freezer. Then when they're hard, shove them in the blender and after a LONG time as rubble it suddenly magically becomes Mr Whippy-consistency ice cream. It DOES taste bananary but not too strongly, and if you're like me you then put them in a sillicone muffin mould, put them BACK in the freezer, and whip one out then shove it in an ice cream cone when you want your child to eat lots of fruit and think they're getting a treat. Grin
It's my only "ooh she's so nigella" summer trick, but it IS bloody brilliant. And of course, it's yummy, which helps!

Midwife99 · 01/07/2012 18:35

Ooh blackcurrants - sneaky but brilliant!!

blackcurrants · 01/07/2012 18:41

it only works, midwife, cos it's seriously yummy. Specially if you mix in some chocolate chips or peanut butter after blending. Though that somewhat detracts from the health claims :)

DharmaBumpkin · 01/07/2012 21:05

Hiya choco thinking of you and counting down the hours!

Don't beat yourself up for having a pity party - I think now is a natural time to mourn the 'family' that you had and expected to welcome DS2 into. Obviously, and sadly, the family that you had and the family that twatface had were very different, and it's only right and proper that you should need to mourn that.

Once DS2 arrives and you settle into your new routine, I would imagine that the family that you now have will settle into your skin and you will be grateful he isn't part of it wouldn't be able to imagine it any other way.

Good luck with the birth & immediate aftermath, I'll be crossing all my fingers and toes that it goes well xx

Slambang · 01/07/2012 21:36

Choco - yes xh may get some novelty Disney firsts but you will get so much more.

You'll be the first to see ds2 smile and the one who sees ds1 smile the most.
You'll be the first they turn to when they're hungry or scared or tired or wanting a cuddle.
You'll be the first to share their terrible toddler jokes and mischief.
You'll be the first to meet their first best friends and the first to wave them off to their first pay dates or football matches or karate lessons.
You'll be the first to know when they have a crush on a girl and the first they'll turn to when their young hearts get just a little bit broken by her.
And when they're older and off to uni or backpacking round the world, you'll be the first one they come home to with their piles of dirty washing and great big man hugs.

Because wherever you are will always be home. Where xh is will just be 'dad's place' and it will only ever be an afterthought compared to home.

The only sad thing (sad for your boys - no sympathy for him) is that your xh will never understand how much he has lost because he'll never experience it. And your boys will miss out on nothing because they will have a secure and loving home and family with you. And a Fun Time Disney Dad to ride their first tractor.

All the very very best for a joyous welcome to Baby Bean on Tuesday.

saffronwblue · 02/07/2012 09:40

slambang that is such a beautiful post.

JaxTellerIsMyFriend · 02/07/2012 12:16

slambang that is perfect! All the disney firsts that EX gets dont count. Grin

choco not long to go now. I am so excited for you and cant wait to 'meet' your gorgeous boy.

Just as a little example;
My neighbours eldest son turned 21 last week, his Dad sent some money over for his present and she felt quite upset because she couldnt give her eldest an equal amount as a pressie.

Things are quite tight, she is a single Mum with 3 boys, her ExH is an arse and doesnt contribute to anything for them since the divorce.

We had a chat and I gently reminded her that over the years she has given him that amount X a million, plus all the other things she does on a daily basis for her boys. All the money and 'disney dad' stuff means nothing, her eldest is a lovely, kind, polite, young man who adores his Mum and it's his MUM he turns to when life is a bit rubbish. They have a brilliant relationship.

Chin up, it will all work out. Promise. x

chocoraisin · 02/07/2012 14:04

thank you, everyone - you all make this so much better to be going through. Really and truly. slambang I've read your post about 6 times now just to make sure I remember that!! Grin

So, 24 hours from now I'll definitely be holding my newborn baby... EEK!! I'm probably not going to be online again now until after the big event so I just want to say I'll be thinking of you all when he arrives and desperately trying to find a wifi spot in hospital to send an update I am so grateful for all the support you've given that has got me this far. My bag is packed by the door, DS and I are going for a last swim together and tea out this afternoon with nana Grin I've got presents wrapped for baby from DS and from baby for DS... I feel ready. As ready as I'm gonna be anyway!!

I will come back online as soon as I can to let you all know that baby is here safe and sound!! Lots of love to you all x

OP posts:
Midwife99 · 02/07/2012 14:06

Lots & lots & lots of love to you & your beautiful boys from your very own personal cyber midwife! Thanks

DoingItForMyself · 02/07/2012 14:10

Sending you loads of love and a big hug. Give him a little kiss on his fuzzy newborn head from all of us, and a hug to DS1, and we look forward to hearing about the further adventures of Choco + sons next week!

Thanks in advance!

blackcurrants · 02/07/2012 14:11

[little happy sob]
Hope all goes smoothly choco - much love to you and your lovely boys! :)

skyebluesapphire · 02/07/2012 14:39

aww, best wishes Choco and lots of love. Take care and we look forward to hearing all about it once you are able xx

TimeForMeAndDD · 02/07/2012 14:43

Just delurking to give my love and best wishes. I'm all excited for you!! I love this thread, and your blog, don't be away too long Wink X

porridgelover · 02/07/2012 16:30

choco I know you wont read this now til after the big event. And I am looking forward to hearing you and he are ok.
He is a lucky boy to be born to a mum who looks forward to him so much and who will offer him a model of patience, calm and strength. You are the sort of mum who produces Einsteins, Obamas, Churchills.
All the best xxx

eagerbeagle · 02/07/2012 20:02

Delurking to wish you all the best for tomorrow. Been following your thread and think you are absolutely amazing and both your boys are blessed to have you as their mum xx

Lovethesea · 02/07/2012 20:33

Best wishes for tomorrow, will be checking on you often! I had a fantastic elcs 2 years ago and really enjoyed it all - hoping yours is similar x

MamaMassageMe · 02/07/2012 20:49

Thinking of you Choco family :) Lots of love and luck tomorrow! YOUR AMAZING! xx

weblette · 02/07/2012 21:52

Another lurker delurking!
Wishing you and your beautiful boy an easy birth, lots of hugs to the special big brother.
Look forward to hearing all about it Smile

DharmaBumpkin · 03/07/2012 07:29

Huge hugs from me too :) Will be thinking of you all today & sending all sorts of warm fuzziness your way! xx

dublindee · 03/07/2012 08:21

Hoping your birth is as fab as my second and third were.
Sending love, happiness and new baby snuggles your way.
You are SUCH an amazing woman, these boys are so lucky to have such a fab mum.

Lol at you searching for wi-fi in the hospital (hint - try near the canteens!! Grin See you back here when you've settled back xxx

LimitReached · 03/07/2012 08:35

De-lurking as well, all the best to you choco.

Don't worry too much about the hospital, I was on my own when I had my youngest by c-section and didn't feel as thought I was treated any differently to the other new mums there XX

Thanks
Smugfearnleyshittingstool · 03/07/2012 09:24

Another lurker and blog reader, best wishes to you today, enjoy you're new baby cuddles!

lunar1 · 03/07/2012 11:47

Thinking of you and you beautiful boys.