nothing can drag you down when you're not holding on...

[chocoraisin]

Hello :)

I've decided that blog or no blog, I can't imagine not having all of you fabulous people to turn to in the next couple of months while I count down to baby arriving. So I've jumped ship from the old thread and decided to set up camp here.

would anyone like a ?

The bad news is he probably won't ever engage unfortunately! 2nd babies rarely do until labour! Do you have a date for your section? My last one finished me off! SPD combined with a breech then once turned back to back baby! Ouch! Not long now honey!!

Gorgeous Choco..I've been thinking of you loads today..wondering how the 3 of you are getting on.

STBXH didn't last very long now did he..I complete agree with PP, just ignore, ignore ignore.

The online albums thing is a great idea but I wouldn't mention it but just do it iyswim-giving him passwords/links in an email when your ready to proceed with that. Don't allow him into any dialogue at all about online sharing, skype etc maybe ask your Mum to sit with DS and skype randomly and then they arrange a weekly date between them?? I just feel that if you allow him in in anyway he will jump at it and cause a scene for attention...when you do your weekly email don't respond to anything he put towards you..Just DS news, contact arrangements (specify bedtime routine importance!) and images of him photoshopped onto barbed wire penis' (fab idea blackcurrents!)

I am so sad to hear that he actually has absolutely no respect or care for your emotional and physical needs right now. Although it was probably predictable because he is a fuckwit it doesn't make it any less I am really saddened to say I feel after his antics that he will esculate before he gets the message :(

I think your doing an amazing job MamaChoc and hope that you are nesting and being nurtured. Sending love and solidarity as always

xxx

(((hugs mama))) so good to hear from you :) thank you for the encouragement!

midwife I feel your pain, SPD is miraculously being managed reasonably well this time. I was holding out for him engaging but never mind! Section should be 2nd July, but I have a feeling that baby may show up sometime in the last week of June. We'll see! Not long now indeed :)

Wahoo to SPD management :) I can't imagine how difficult it can make life for you..Can't believe your due date is so close now :) Little wiggly bean is almost cooked! Another Choco legacy will grace our lands! Yay!

Your an inspiration Choco and I cannot wait for the envitable amazing things that will come into your life!

xx

Engaging makes the SPD even worse so don't even go there Choco!!

blimey choco, even more in common, I had severe SPD with my daughter, to the point that I couldnt walk near the end and left work 2 months early. My consultant advised me given my weight and age, not to have any more children as the SPD would come back earlier and worse with any future pregnancy. That combined with severe sickness for the first 20 weeks, SPD for the next 20 weeks and an agonising back to back labour after the epidural stopped working..... meant that I did not have any more children!

I was so depressed before I gave birth as I was in so much pain. When the epidural stopped working I went from feeling nothing to feeling full on contractions and I had a bitch of a midwife too who told me off for shouting at her (I was crying rather than shouting) and she called me a drama queen.... So thats why my daughter is an only child....

Perhaps I'd better lie low then!!

Well done choco for holding the boundary. He will be wondering if you even received or read his message. He reminds me of what I learned when my DS was behaving badly at 3. " Any attention is better than no attention." If you reply with anger or emotion or even politeness, then he has somehow been rewarded. A stony dignified silence is your way to go.

Not long till you get little DS2 in your arms! How are you going with the names?

Ooh, Names! NAMES!
If I'm having another boy I really fancy James (I loved Edward but that's the name of a first cousin so might be a bit too close). But DH isn't yet convinced by my "Jamie! James, where are you? ... see it sounds awesome".

Occasionally I threaten him with terrible ones like Horatio and Wilberforce, just to shake him up. have you got any ones that you probably won't use but are nonetheless keeping close to make others nervous with? :)

Choco - this is my first time posting on your thread. I have a confession to make, I saw your first thread on MN when I was towards the end of pregnancy with DS3 and it moved me so much that in my highly hormonal state I couldn't continue reading it as it moved me to tears. I put it on my watch threads, went off had my gorgeous baby and recently came back to normality (well, my version if normality!!) and read the whole thing from start to finish over the past 4 days.

Can I just say, you are AMAZING. Your strength, dignity and grace shine through. The way you have conducted yourself is above reproach and you have NEVER tried to serve YOUR best interests you have always acted with your boys' interests first.
The same, however, cannot be said for your pond-feeding toad-scum of a SBXH or his skank-ho bitch.

As you prepare for your new little fella's arrival (yay!) just know that there are soooo many people wishing nothing but the best for you and your boys. And to paraphrase one of my favourite prayers...

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest the crotches of Choco's SBXH and his OW, and may their arms be too short to scratch. Amen.

Second confession: I feel as if I know everyone on here already.

Blackcurrants - loved the barbed penis - penii - willies comment, I ACTUALLY snorted!

Hi Choco - yes mine does similar .. chat chat chat - despite the frosty glare if I am in his company or the silence if he does it over the phone he still persists.

I will speak to him regarding DD and that is all I am interested in ...

Why are they such knobends?

xx

afternoon all! I'm in bed with a giant bag of MnM's right now, having spent a few hours sorting through DS's old baby gear. I've bagged up two bin liners full for a friend who had twin boys over the weekend - how do you end up with bin bags full of tiny clothes from just one tiny person?? And still have enough left over for another tiny person to use? I know I got a lot of hand me downs for DS but honestly, it's ridiculous lol. Still, it's been a very pleasant nesty afternoon. I've just about siezed up completely though so hope that a bit of a lie down (and chocolate injection) will help.

I maintained the frosty silence, you will all be proud to know and received yet another chatty email this morning from the H. Still playing the best buddies card, still totally ignoring my request for space. His solicitor must have been in touch by now to say about the letter mine sent - but even if for some strange reason he she hasn't, I specifically told him myself I needed space last week. So he clearly (whether it's unconscious or not) can't bear me ignoring him. Whatever. I will not budge. I'm going to work out how to get his emails shunted to a separate folder from now on, so that I won't even be notified when they arrive. That way I can't get stressed out by anything!

Skye that sounds awful! My first pg was very much like that, crutches, codeine, emergency forceps in theatre after awful back to back labour. I was told to wait 4 years or more to ttc again. Unfortunately (or fortunately for me) I was broody within 12 months and fell pg after 15! Miraculously I'm coping on bare basics pain relief, physio and so far am keeping off the crutches (more or less). I think this is the universe cutting me some slack. Only so much one person can cope with at a time :) I didn't have any real nausea with either boy though, which def helped - only a week or two tops. It was vile, I can't imagine 20+ weeks of being sick eugh!

black I've got a name picked out already, I'm totally committed to it! It's an 'E' name but I'm stuck on middle names still. I'd like a 'J' name, maybe Joseph or Jonah, or Joshua? Two friends have just had boys called James :) one is straightforward James, one is known as Jimmy which is super cute!

Dublindee welcome! I'm very impressed you waded through it all, and gosh I feel intimately connected to this bunch, I don't know where I'd be without you all with your barbed penii and your camels' crotches... and all the and and hugs that have come my way

Oh MnMs & bed - sounds a perfect Wednesday afternoon! Apart from the pain & exhaustion of late pg of course!! Twunt really has a complete screw loose doesn't he?!!! Why can't he bloody leave alone for a while?! Just ignore the bleedin pond dweller & his troll! No you're NOT friends, no it ISN'T OK if troll emails you too, no he CAN'T be at the birth so basically crawl off back under your rock! I also now feel better - we should start a new form of therapy called twunt taunting!

There can't be any valid reason to have emailed you again, choco. At minimum I think you should be hiving his mails off to another folder, marked as read. If it continues, however, I think you need to call him on it.

ohgodIwantchocolateNOW NOW NOW.

I think trib has a point. For now, file and sort the emails away from your sight, and file his continued ignoring of your requests for space as "boarderline harassment, duly noted."
I like the name "Jacob" as I've known many a lovely Jake, but the meaning "The deceiver" kind of puts me off. Joshua is lovely, I like Josh... when we're chosing names I have to take into consideration what they sound like in an American accent - specifically Nooo Joooiiisy, which is a special accent all of its own - and so that makes for entertaining work! DH made all the children in his form room try out some names for him before DS was born, and that ruled out some immediately!

I love the camel curse, I think it's brilliant and appropriate! :)

For last baby I wanted Gabriel or Jude. Definitely vetoed by male members of family for "gayness"! Luckily she turned out to be a girl!

hey choco, havent been on your thread for ages. (RL totally in the way of my MNing)

hope you are comfortable with the little one wriggling around inside using you as a punch bag... I remember it well!
Going to scroll back and see what STXH has been doing.

I know two Gabriels and one Jude none of them gay (that we know of yet - they're all under two!) Gabriel was on my last short list. I would say the name I've chosen falls more under the slightly gay category than say, Doug or Steve lol

hi there! I'm doing ok, although I seem to be verging on grumpy resignation rather than hormonal hysterics this time round. I was a lot more volatile in my first preg, but probably felt a bit more secure about letting off steam as well. DS is testing my patience, however I am working hard on remembering he isn't even two so patience isn't really optional! The closer we get to baby coming the more spectacular his separation anxiety gets, I had to literally peel him off me at nursery today but am told he was cheery as chips when I walked out the door (it was only me who spent the morning feeling like a terrible awful mother!) Luckily my parents are being incredibly helpful and seem to enjoy the closeness with him, which is giving me lots of breaks around bedtimes and mealtimes which have become a bit of a trial :)

Good wishes choco.

I'm so glad your parents are being this lovely, Choco - it's clear from your posts that you're a lovely mum, and you learned from a lovely mum. Hurrah for great parents!

I haven't considered the 'vetoed for gayness' thing - Our DS has a beloved gay godfather/uncle figure in his life, so frankly I think he'll have a good role model for how to be happy and gay, if that's what he is. And said gay uncle figure has a really butch name, now i come to think of it! - isn't it funny! DH is a teacher so he's always vetoing my ideas with "urgh, no, taught one, was a right bloody nightmare" - it cuts through about half of my ideas in a single session!

I found a box of cadbury chocolate fingers, (sounds soo rude), DH is out at a work thing, DS is asleep, and I think Mr Darcy and I have a date - I hope you've had a good night and have a good Thursday.

I know it's ridiculous - I suggested Gabriel & there were howls of "No - he'll get called "Gay Boy" in the playground!!!!" And Jude - "what like that poncy luvvy actor? - no way!" Men (& teenage DSs) can be very defensive about their straightness can't they?!

I too am cheering for your parents - they sound brill!

I briefly wanted to call DS ( now 13) Gabriel. He ended up as David. I mentioned this to him the other day and he rolled his eyes at the horror he had only just escaped.
I still like the name though.

Another fan of choco's parents here, too.