nothing can drag you down when you're not holding on...

[chocoraisin]

Hello :)

I've decided that blog or no blog, I can't imagine not having all of you fabulous people to turn to in the next couple of months while I count down to baby arriving. So I've jumped ship from the old thread and decided to set up camp here.

would anyone like a ?

Don't you just love 2 year olds?! My DD aged 2 is a little fireball at the moment!! And soooooo strong like a mini hulk! She really gets a red mist! Time out does seem to work - a great top tip from 123 Magic is time out for the number of minutes of their age ie in our case 2. Then when you let them out crouch down & say "do you feel better?" Big hug follows. When I used to let her out still a bit disapproving & saying sthg like "come out then & be good now" the tantrum used to continue.

Yeah, we are just reading 1-2-3 Magic! and hoping it works some good in our house. Remembering NOT to talk and NOT to reason and NOT to explain and just to firmly, quietly stop the behaviour and then act, after 2 minutes, like it never happened..... is surprisingly hard!

Hi Choco, really glad to hear you are feeling better,.... Looking forward to catching up with your blog too.

I have a Maya padded ring sling that I'd love to send you... Am on my phone so can't message you now but will try after kids bedtime tonight. It was a godsend for me, it would be great if it could make your life easier too.

Dharma I love MN. People are so lovely!

That is v. lovely of you, Dharma - OP can't have mine, I'm going to put DC2 in it for the first 5 months of her/his life at least - but yay for her getting one from you ! :)

oh wow thank you Dharma!! That is so, so kind of you!! I'm just doing bedtime myself but I'll be back online later. How truly lovely of you - biggest hugs!

FFS... stupid bastard ex strikes again. Thank god for you guys and your generosity, support and general loveliness, because I'd be feeling pretty hopeless without it!

He's emailed me just to let me know that he is still looking for a job near me and the kids for September and oh, now she is looking for one too so they can hurry up and move down together. No doubt this is his passive aggressive reaction to 'the talk' we had when I said she can back off until he is seeing the kids in some future home they share and they are actually in step parent territory instead of her just being the girl he's shagging. Instead of appreciating that rushing into things is a mistake for everyone involved, it's a green light to him to rush even more into forcing their new relationship into fucking complex and stressful territory.

I honestly despair.

BUT... at least I know about silverettes and maya wraps now! My breastfeeding at least is going to be getting off to a positive start!

why is there no GRRR emoticon?? oh wait...

Twunt!! No change then?!! Remember - you don't have to hand over DS2 until YOU'RE ready & it's an appropriate time for a newborn to be separated from you even for a short time. My ex didn't have our baby away from me until she was 8 months old!!

This was my reply....

re: jobs, I'm sure you will make the decisions you feel are right/necessary when your course finishes. Whether you live here or in XXXI will continue to support your relationship with the boys. All other things we discussed recently (regarding the arrangements for seeing them) I would expect to remain the same though, whether you move down alone, with OW, in September or next year. I trust that we both have the children's best interests at heart where these things are concerned.

and breathe, and move on...

I fucking hate the fucking cunting cunty cunt though.

And I don't use that word!!

8 months sounds about right! I will bear that in mind thanks for reminding me I am still allowed to make decisions midwife it all gets so damn overwhelming at times...

Let him take you to court!! He can pay if he really thinks a judge would order you to hand over a baby! The judge said to me an hour 3 times a week was what he normally orders for a baby under 12 months old.

that is most definitely the ace up my sleeve, fear not. I'm not afraid to use it... just really hoping I won't feel I need to...

in happier news I managed a shopping trip today for baby bits, and got new pjs for my hospital bag, ordered new one size charlie banana washable nappies, silverettes, nipple pads and bought baby socks and bibs. I also bought DS some fab rugby shirts and a toy drum kit (I may live to regret that one!). Retail therapy is fun! My plan for tonight is to pack my hospital bag and the baby bag for DS2. All of which I hope will calm and centre me on the great things ahead!

Aw how lovely getting some retail therapy in - it's a lovely part of baby planning. And well done you on being so calm and decisive with tithead ex. Whenever you think he's being a turd to you, look back and see how far you've come - it's still painful, sure, but he's not able to throw you into a tailspin any more. You're detaching and seeing him for what he is, and that's wonderful for you and for DS and for your future happiness.

You are BRILL!

Oh stuffit - you did make me ! I fucking wish the fuckwit would fucking well fuck off too! If there's one thing that makes me it's a fuckwit dumping on the woman carrying his child! Grrrr!!

Yes Choco not only is your bump public property to be prodded by every old biddy in town, we're now allowed to talk about you as if you're not here like a senile great aunt!

Night girls! Hope bean doesn't kick you all night Choco-lovely!

hahaha morning lovely ladies! You carry on, I'll just be over here with a ... he is incapable of showing consideration, it's true. But yes, I'm glad he wants to see his children.

I will no doubt come to terms with the OW at some point. I just rather hope that she (especially as he isn't likely to) can see the point of taking her time. After all, she's really so young - not just in years, but in experience, she's barely had a chance to qualify in her chosen career, she is in the first 6 months of a frankly very dubious relationship and her 'D'P is trying to ship her off to the rural westcountry to play mummy to his brand new offspring.

I've asked to meet her before she meets the kids (which I may or may not live to regret, however I am going down the 'Face Everything And Recover (from it)' attitude to fear at the mo. I will absolutely ask her how she feels about all of these red flags if he foists that meeting upon me anytime soon. I'm not interested in his sex life, but neither will I act like he's a great partner and dad for the sake of appearances!! Git.

Nothing quite like a morning vent (with minstrels and tea for company)!

Ooh minstrels, that sounds good. I have tea and a wiffly snoring dog, which is pretty good. Now, what do I want to rant about?

:)

I think your plan sounds pretty great. I hope you're having a nice day! And yes, this page has made me snort and laugh in a most unladylike manner!

Potty mouth attack last night . Hope you're ok today lovely!

I think we both owe lots & lots

hahaha oh as if!! I believe I am the one who started the c-word ranting as it happens, so if there is a swear box I'll be emptying my pockets first and it did cheer me up. You lot always do

Nothing to report tonight, just dropping by to say you all rock and I think you're fab. That is all x