I think my husbands cheating

[fizzyizzy]

Oh God. Hes just gone out to a clients house and I have been tidying his wardrobe. I wasn't snooping. I looked in his gym bag - its so like him to leave his dirty gym kit in there and I've found a phone. It's not his phone, I've never seen it before. There is no reason for him to have another phone. I'm worried that this is a secret phone. That he's having an affair. I can't believe im writing this. He is the a great husband and a brilliant father to our three month old little girl. We are happy and we hardly ever argue. We've been together 8 years we've been through so much together. But I have this niggling doubt. My hearts pounding. What do I do????

What leverette said. What is wrong with them?

Thanks for your advice and kind words everyone. Ive decided not to phone ow. My mum is coming to get us she should be here soon. I am taking the filing cases with all our documents in. Im not leaving the note now. I've just sent him a text from the phone saying I know. I'm also taking the phone with me. Oh and Heidi it looks pretty likely ow knows he's married. I have just found out my marriage is a lie. I have a baby. Give me a break ffs.

Please do turn the phone off and don't call her/him tonight, I hope you can get to your mums before he comes home and I wouldn't be leaving a note.

Let him sweat it out!

I wish I didn't know how hard tonight will be for you. But you will find endless support and wisdom on here anytime you need or want it. Take your lovely, lovely baby and keep your dignity - good on you. And remember, no matter how horrendous you feel, feelings always pass eventually. (((hugs)))

I also don't have great advice OP, but just wanted to say so sorry you are going through this. I hope you get lots of great support here and in real life. X

bless you, glad your Mum is going to look after you, he will be shitting himself when he finds you gone, no note and paperwork gone.

It will make you feel less of a victim.

Good luck OP. I think you are right to get support rather than to put yourself through a painful confrontation, you know what you need to know already. You are doing the right thing taking the phone and the documents. So sorry this has happened, what an evening for you; you seem like a very strong person.x

Fizzy I just want to give you a hug...x

Make sure you start to out your financial affairs in order first thing tomorrow.

Well done, fizzy, you're absolutely right and you sound excellent and strong considering this totally undeserved shower of shite raining down on you. It is his job to sort out what he is going to do about his dreadful dreadful deeds. You are blameless and you know you are right.

Take care and all strength and hope to you.

Sorry that you are having such a truly horrible, horrible time OP. I feel very sad for you. I am glad you have your mum close by and your baby girl. Hugs to you both x

So glad your mum is picking you up and you are not driving. So glad.

Did you know you are amazing to be taking action, even if you are falling apart and hurting like crazy you are taking action. You have my true admiration. Hugs and more hugs.

Do you have a laptop? Does it have important stuff or photos on it? Take that too.

So sorry xx

I'm starting to get very cross with men in general! All these awful twunts cheating on their pregnant & newly delivered partners. What is wrong with them??!

Oh fizzy, I am so sorry this bastard has done this to you and your DD. How fucking dare he treat you like this, especially when you are vulnerable with such a young baby. Well done for being so level headed and sure of yourself by going to your Mums. If he would do this too you at this time, and act so normal and happy, he will do it again and again.

My ex did similar to me although I didn't find out until DS was almost two... you will get over this and you will be so happy. He can still be a good father, but NEVER EVER let him try and make you feel guilty about him not living with his DD. He did this, not you

Stay strong, you are doing the right thing, you are in control, stay that way. Day or night we are here for you, hugs. Good luck fizzy.

Fizzyizzy, so sorry you are going through this. I dont have anything like the wise words of some mnetters but am glad your mum is near enough to come and get you.
Take care x

Oh you poor thing. I am so sorry xxx

I am so sorry this has happened to you .. I'm glad your mum is there for you xx

I never got years of camera memory sticks either, it is still upsetting dc and me he wouldn't give a copy, I am sure he destroyed them.

Do freeze the accounts, he stole £30k, added it to the mortgage on an offset acc then ran up loads of debts after leaving so never paid it back!

I have no advice but am another hand to hold yours. Poor you. Big unmumsnetty hugs.

Fizzy I'm so sorry you're going through this and so glad you have a supportive mum. As others have said where they are concerned keep your dignity this man is so beneath you. Hope you get plenty of support you will need it. Go easy on yourself but sort the practicalities get legal advice quite soon. Posting on here was a lifeline for me when I discovered my x's affair via text 18months ago. I think what you are doing here is priceless can you imagine the shock on his face when he gets home!
This is so painful but it does get better.
x

I think you are being amazing op, i am so glad your mum is coming for you.

i am so sorry. x

Take care of yourself tonight OP x

Sorry fizzy I didn't mean it in a bad way, more of a don't be letting your bastard husband off the hook way! I wasn't having a. Go at YOU but having a go at HIM iyswim.

Didn't want you to fall into the common trap that poor defensless husband was seduced by some bitch OW and to let husband off lightly. Sorry if it didn't come across well but I'm on YOUR Side obviously!