The Brave Babes Battle Bus - BOINGing Into Spring, The Jesus(WhatNext) Way!

[Mouseface]

Hello, tis me, Mouse

I'm one of the Brave Babes aboard the Battle Bus, on the journey to sobriety.

We have drinkers, non-drinkers, inbetweeners, notquitesurers...... which is all fantastic.

No matter who you are or where you're at in your personal quest to get where you want to be, come grab a seat and join in the natter, just jump right in.

And, if you'd like to see where we've been up until now, HERE is a link to the last thread and the ones before it

See you soon.

Bookmarking :)

Hello Sunny good idea! xx

ha ha!! love the tag line mouse!

well, back from theatre, wonderful show, i had actually forgotten what i was going to see , my bf booked the tickets ages ago, twas chicago, and all that jazz! am not worrying about the glass of wine now, i have taken on board what you all said and am treating it as something that was given with good intentions by someone who didnt realise i was allergic! dh says that is the perfect way to look at it and he is wise and wonderful! that was 2 days ago and nothing drunk since so i reckon i will be ok!

MA - you done good tonight!!!

JWN just read back after a couple of days away and read about your experience. One thing that I really notice is the huge amount of support you are getting from dh. Even if you doubted your self with regards to the glass, take your lead from your lovely, kind, but formerly long-suffering husband. Think back to 2 years ago when your relationship was nearly broken, and KNOW that he has no doubts at all about the error that your neighbour made, and about the strength and certain-ness of your continued sobriety. And maybe as you notice the massive difference in your relationship over the last 2 years, you can use that to strengthen yourself, and to take yourself forward each day as you deal with the shocking events of the weekend.

And now I'm going back to post on the previous thread, and to fill it up - before I get a row from mouse

Yay :)

I am so hoping I can cut down on my drinking or even cut it out altogether.

I know I will sleep better tonight and feel better tomorrow. However, I will never be able to be complacent.

Hey, JWN, glad you had great evening, esp after all the horrors you have experienced lately.

Re. the glass of wine - it wasn't a return to dangerous drinking, you were just in shock.

Yay for Ma!

Hello....please may I step aboard?
I can't believe I'm even writing this ...much less admitting to myself finally that I have a problem. (Not out of hand yet but enough to cause me grief)

I drink nearly every night...usually a couple of large glasses of wine. I don't get drunk but it does take the edge off stressful job, death of father etc.
Last night I drank three large glasses of vodka and took my sleeping tablet (I know)

This morning my DP has left for work without saying goodbye to me. Apparently I yelled at him to leave last night (something I have only just promised not to do in the middle of a row as I know how much it hurts him) The scary thing for me is....I don't even remember having a row...much less telling him to go. I feel utterly utterly disgusted with myself....to drink that much that I could a) say that to him and b) not even remember

I have text him to explain that I have no recollection and to apologise.(I didn't mention the vodka and sleeping tab) All he has done is text me back a list of the things I said, and to say he is now not sure whether to sell his house or not (we live together but he still has his own house...long story)

I would like to come home from work and not be thinking about pouring that wine the minute I walk through the door.
I feel really really low right this minute....thank you for reading.

hi jade the rest of the bus will be here soon but they are filling up an old thread (or mouse will tell us off!) but I wanted to say welcome.

all of us on the bus are battling the same battle - and all at different stages of the journey.

was there a particular trigger last night?

Thank you for the welcome MsGee
There was no real trigger as such....except that drinking in the evening is a habit.

Life is stressful with demanding jobs, bereavement and dsd being a pain (par for the course) but not so much that I should drink so much I can't remember anything

I have just gone downstairs and looked at the vodka bottle expecting to see far more of it gone than actually has. I know and admit that I drink more than I should but I am really struggling with last night....I remember feeding the cats, locking the door ...all the mundane things you do before bed. I do not remember this row....to be honest it's scary.

I am going to pack my things in a minute and go and stay in my dad's house for a few days to try and get my head straight.
Thank you for saying hi

Good morning Jade

Sorry to hear you've had such a bad night, I know well that feeling of 'what happened last night'. You're in a good place. xx

hey jade and welcome. There is nothing you can post on here that will shock anyone. Someone will have been there/is there and no-one will judge. How can we help?
I had a very rare alcohol free night last night. this is the only place where I can say that and have people praise me and be proud of me, rather than be shocked! It's a very supportive place. For some peculiar reason, this bus is called Gerald. Silver will be along at some point to hand you your ticket - you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave - and mouse will be round in a bit with the bacon butties.
Look above you - that's faire who rides on the roof rack of regulation, and you can find the lapsed ones sleeping it off in the sidecar of shame.
Welcome!

Lola - I tried to post this on the other thread but it was full - you sound very much like me with parenting ... I get the same feeling about putting DD to bed and hoping she blumming well stays there so I can drink.

I had problems with anxiety and feel v down after last year. After numerous conversations with the NHS mental health assessment peoples, we agreed that the best course of action for me was: regular exercise; getting out of the house more and reducing drink.

Could you plan to do things with the kids (are they on holiday this week) ... perhaps if you make the plans you will know that you can't drink or you won't be able to do them? Arrange swimming for the morning or something?

Jade stay aboard, am sure it will help. Being somewhere safe and secure is a good idea ... but IME you tend to take yourself with you

Isinde I am sure it was brillient - but just think. It was probably so amazing that it would have cured us all instantly and there would be no need for the bus.

So you have kept us all together really

MsGee I have booked a swimming crash course for them every day next week and I've arranged a playmate with my kids friends this Thursday and looking forward to my DH having some time off so that we can have some nice family times and I'll get a chance to go running which I only started last week and have done twice but I want this darn endorphins to kick in that everybody keeps going about!

My issue is now, do I tell the DH and/or friends? Friends can wait I'm thinking but I need dh's support as he could well come home on Thursday eve as its the start of a 4 day break with copious amounts of alcohol? I am so doubtful I'll do this but I really, really want to succeed...

Lola that is great - really positive! Running is excellent too.

I would tell DH - I have told DH but not many friends (well only 1 and that was after 18 months!). However, it has / is taking DH a long time to really understand. Support is great but many of the babes find that their DH struggles initially because it either makes them defensive about their own drinking or they really don't want to face up to it.

My DH has been supporting me for 18 months but he is only just really getting it. Recent conversations include him saying I wasn't that bad. I asked that given I drank a bottle of wine a night how much worse he wanted it to get. He looked a bit surprised. Last night I said I was worried about family do coming up and he said - just drink for a few days, then stop again - now that you know you can do it, its fine. He doesn't really get it - but that is fine, he can't understand how my brain works around alcohol but he doesn't have the same issues. He doesn't really get it but has said that he will support me to not drink with my family if that is what is best for me.

Day 10 here. I don't think I have been in double figures for years. I am starting to feel good and my skin and eyes are deinately looking better.

I am determined this time. I don't know why but it feels different to the other times

Enjoy what's left of the sunshine. I am going to work this afternoon, just in time for the rain

I think you should tell dh too, Lola. The more support you get the better. This bus is wonderful but rl care and understanding would help you even more, don't you think?

Day 41 for me here. Today I have to go to Sainsburys and buy alcohol for our weekend away. Feel ok about it.

Yay Rain! You sound great. :)

My DH will agree I drink too much and he's made numerous comments along this vein but come the next time we get a DVD and some munches and put our feet up after a hard day he'll want wine. Or beer. He might even go down the'just have a couple then' route as its such a huge integral part of our life.

He's not really that understanding of any mental health issues, he never really even mentions my eating probs as its out of his comfort zone of understanding but if I just say I want to be able to do more with my days he'll get that as he has noticed how much more he gets done too. Strangely we talk better about this stuff after a few wines...

Phew, glad to have found you all.

My advice lola would be to separate your drinking from his. I 'let' DH have alcohol in the house from quite early on, we have numerous 24 hour shops within walking distance, so I reckoned that if I was going to drink I would. I realised that it was all about me, and nothing that anyone else was doing around me could make me drink.

I don't particularly like having it around, but it doesn't affect my sobriety.

DH and I were definitely drinking buddies, all our early courting was pub based, then over a bottle of wine at home and much more, secretly on my own.

However he doesn't miss the company, he's happier to have a happy wife.

bibbity that is great, so want to do this so will tell DH but maybe just I feel I drink too much and don't want it anymore in my life. And of course ask for his support.

Well done rain, I hope u stay strong x

I think he will prefer his new improved wife. I'll remind him of that should he ever get bored of drinking solo. He never drinks anything near the amount I do although he used to which strangely was starting to p**s me off but maybe he's tiring of it all..?

Thanks for the welcome Fairenuff - sorry not to say hello to everyone, but there are so many messages! Are there really so many of us with this problem?

I managed to stay sober and clip the dog - he looks ridiculous, but he'd look worse if I'd tried it drunk. I was a bit frustrated that when I told my husband how I felt he just sneered "You're worried because you don't have any wine?" and then poured himself a whisky.

I have been on and off the bus for a long time, the last couple of years have been better because I've learnt some tricks to avoid getting too drunk. The main one is never having more than 500ml of wine in the house at any time. That's 2 x 250ml bottles or 2x18.5 bottles if really good.

My top tip: instead of all those boring cold drinks try some nice herbal tea. Lemon and ginger is good for detoxing, and fennel is great if you ate too much! Last night I had valerian and slept really well...

alias has your DH gone on a bad counselling course? That sounds like an epic fail at reflective listening!