For LIKEATONNEOFBRICKS

[pollyblue]

Hello,
just wondering how things were going with you and your situation?

If you're still not sure if the woman you fancy has any feelings for you, can I offer you (possibly!) a bit of hope.....I don't know if you remember but I was in a similar situation last year - despite me getting a bit of a 'vibe' from my crush nothing came of it, she told me she wasn't gay etc so that was that. We were still friends, but (afaik) nothing more.

Anyhoo I saw her today, unexpectedly, for the first time in about 3 months and blow me down, she asked me out. Albeit if was a tentative, polite ask but she did, nonetheless. I did a good goldfish impression, I was so surprised. Just going to wait now, not get too excited, and see if anything comes of it.

So - there is hope!

Gay yes, I suppose I am bisexual, I've had relationships with men and women. I've always fallen for the person, rather than the gender, but I am generally more attracted to women.

Not that it matters in this situation, or in any other situation tbh, but I was just interested.

See, I would like to think of myself as being able to fall for the person rather than the gender, but there is something about men's personalities that I simply cannot be doing with. Lovely as friends and relatives, but otherwise no.

Can you put your finger on what that is Gay?

The men (just 2) I've had relationships with have been fab, intelligent, funny, kind.....considerably better in the personality stakes than some women I've known (esp the friend who called me a freak for fancying women and having children).

Though i must admit, in both cases the snoring was shocking

I just feel as though I can almost see into the personalities of women but with men it's a brick wall. I simply cannot relate to them on an intimate level at all. I can't see what people find attractive about them. I've known some amazing men, but I'm left completely bemused by the way they think and act. And I cannot for the life of me understand what makes women interested in them. Even Brad Pitt, who I think is beautiful.

So you can, on an aesthetic level, appreciate an attractive man but not 'lust' after him (for want of a better word) because for you there has to be that intimate connection for you to be attracted sexually?

Nothing from Likeatonne for two nights now....Still hope things work out.

I get the feeling we are just to talk amongst ourselves until we get news.

Yes @ the intimate connection, even if it is made quickly over an evening.

Gay40 - i take it you're a gold star then? It's interesting what you say about men and I'm sure it would resonate with quite a few heterosexual women. Seems like some women hit their 40s and change tack because they have never got to the bottom of a man's personality then they meet a woman and instantly click. Perhaps being older, wiser and more carefree they are more open to trying it out. From my (limited) experience, I have had a much stronger bond with the woman than with any man I've ever met. But having said that I can't imagine finding being drawn to another woman in the same way. Perhaps it's a one-off for me. I'd never have considered going out with a woman in my 20s or 30s. Took me by surprise when I had first (and only) encounter.

...oops..omit "finding". Late night typo

No, not a gold star. But not for me.
It always amuses me when people call lesbians man-hating. Heterosexual women hate men far more than lesbians.

that's because the majority are stuck in relationships they want to get out of and spend their entire lives trying to work men out only to realise there's nothing that really warrants the analysis, only a lack of emotional depth. Well, I'm sure there must be a couple of emotionally intelligent men out there...

Of course there are. I know loads of very happily married men and women - some even to each other

Although something must happen when they get into a relationship. I visited some friends recently, and the girlfriend of my friend (I'd known him decades) said "Oh, B hasn't got a clue about laundry."

I said "That's odd, because I shared a house with B for two years as students and he did all his own washing then and it was fine."

Hard stare from both

In my experience men are very good at acting hopeless/clueless in order to get out of doing something.....So when they're living with their loved-up (initially at least!) partner, they're more than capable of 'forgetting' how to do things like laundry, and the woman takes it on just to get it done....Then a few years down the line she wakes up and thinks "what am I doing?!" but by then it's too late

In their defence, if you take the sex thing out of the equation men can make the most fantastic friends. My oldest friends are all chaps and a fine bunch they are too. They don't seem to sneer and judge in the way some of the (interestingly) straight women friends I've got do.

I do wish likeatonne would come back.

G40.......I wonder what they said to each other after you left

C'mon likeatonne where are you, the suspense is killing!

Interested to know how you broach the subject of your sexuality with your children and if anyone has, how did they react?

Mine has grown up always knowing so we just do a top up conversation every so often as new things crop up.

G40, your post of 22:56 really resonates with me and makes sense to me. I never felt a mental connection with a man like I do with women. I never have crushes on men like I do on women because the mental bit isn't there. I love my husband but like a really close friend.

Yes, all this talking among ourselves and the person we are meant to be talking with has done a runner. Likea -- where are you hoo? Cooooeeeee?
Anyone out there?
So, just to keep the momentum up...Crushing: where are you at with your, er crushing?

I'm doing okay. I see her every day at work and have got to see that she's not always perfect. Not that I mind. She seems really happy in her current set up with her long term partner and I genuinely am happy for her. I would love to be good friends with her but am still very much a colleague type friend, although we are slowly getting to know each other better.
Although I still think about her lots every day, I know it's so far from happening that I can actually let go of it a bit and enjoy it as pure fantasy.
I am seriously considering leaving my husband as I know I will never have the relationship I want with him (or any man), but for various reasons it won't happen for a few years. Dh is aware of the situation and hopes things will change.
I do long for a relationship with a woman, both physically and emotionally, but I can't see how it will happen, I can't exactly go cruising!

Well I was minding my own business (albeit probably feeling trapped and neglected) in my marriage then met an amazing woman who blew my socks off (shortly followed by my bra, then my knickers) and haven't looked back. It put paid to my relationship with my husband. Suddenly there was someone who completely understood me, got me and could communicate on the same level. My ex found it hard to take it all seriously until he realised I was serious.

then met an amazing woman who blew my socks off (shortly followed by my bra, then my knickers)

good line

Very good line!

How I wish for the same!

Do you think likeatonne has gone missing..should we send in the SWAT team? Now biting nails anxiously.

oh, me too....