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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

For LIKEATONNEOFBRICKS

888 replies

pollyblue · 16/03/2012 19:04

Hello,
just wondering how things were going with you and your situation?

If you're still not sure if the woman you fancy has any feelings for you, can I offer you (possibly!) a bit of hope.....I don't know if you remember but I was in a similar situation last year - despite me getting a bit of a 'vibe' from my crush nothing came of it, she told me she wasn't gay etc so that was that. We were still friends, but (afaik) nothing more.

Anyhoo I saw her today, unexpectedly, for the first time in about 3 months and blow me down, she asked me out. Albeit if was a tentative, polite ask but she did, nonetheless. I did a good goldfish impression, I was so surprised. Just going to wait now, not get too excited, and see if anything comes of it.

So - there is hope! Grin

OP posts:
likeatonneofbricks · 26/03/2012 00:34

Loveis, butt in as much as you like. It'sd not the first time re vibe. POsters here know that it styarted in the autumn and there were also vibes on and off. I don't know why aer you so sure about the man. She dressed up more sexily than she usually does, and had a glow that day, whereas today looks really drained and humourless. It adds up (I'm sure he's not interested properly though - she was v.ingratiting to him on the phone). I'm slightly terrified that she could read this on MN, therefore gone off me, but it's so unlikely. If she was struggling with her feelings for me she'd be moody but not just blanking me/avoiding contact today. If UI'm like this, I tend to be slightly negative to the person but still want their company. She sounded completely indifferent today, like she's miles away and I'm a nuisance with my couple of questions.

likeatonneofbricks · 26/03/2012 00:39

menopausal maybe but she's not short tempered and if anything suffers from physical symptoms. For the whole last week she was in variety of moods but talking with me has been less and less during last 4 days. And she knows that we don't have much time left. She'd also go the exhibition with me if she was curious, it wasn't an obvious date so nothing pressurising, but she didn't. Possibly she was on something (anti-d's for couple of days?) at the start of the week as tat week was v.stressful. She seemed almost euphoric then.

Gay40 · 26/03/2012 00:40

We've been following this since the autumn, and frankly if bricks doesn't pop the question by next week I think we might explode.

likeatonneofbricks · 26/03/2012 00:43

yes G, but we weren't in contact for 2.5 months in-between apart from two visits (imposed by me but she was nice to me then which was encouraging).

Loveisthemessage · 26/03/2012 00:49

Maybe man Friday was an ex and she wanted to see if he still fancies her (even when she's menopausal) and maybe the glow was down to her hot flushes. Seriously though, I do feel for you and hope you can get to the bottom of this during the next 5 days. It's countdown time. Maybe she had some bad news hence the indifference and looking drained. Try to be as detached as possible from her until she warms up a bit. Then pounce !

AllotmentFreak · 26/03/2012 09:14

FWIW I've become menopausal over the last 4 months, and at times I've felt and looked proper shite, if someone's around me all day I just have to be myself and if I look knackered/upset/pissed off then I very probably am due to the raging hormones (and I actually feel them raging). Anyway that's a bit of possible background for you.

Likeatonne.... you have said yourself about letting it go and perhaps after this week you may have to for the sake of your emotional health, I said earlier in this thread about saying ah sod it which is where I would be now with her. If this has heightened your awareness that you may be bi then why not pursue it elsewhere with someone obviously gay/bi? Just a thought. Hoping all goes well this week:)

Gay40 · 26/03/2012 10:38

Because I think in LATOB's case, it is not that she particularly wanted any gay/bi person to explore new feelings with, but that the person she has recently found herself attracted to happens to be a woman? (Correct me if wrong)

AllotmentFreak · 26/03/2012 12:41

Yes that's what Likeatonne said, I'm just adding another dimension to it :)

Original poster
pollyblue · 26/03/2012 19:35

How have things been today OP?

OP posts:
Gay40 · 26/03/2012 22:10

Have you heard anything either, polly?

Original poster
pollyblue · 26/03/2012 22:18

No, boo. And I have a streaming, filthy cold now so I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself.
I don't know what to think really. Part of me is tempted to email her and just ask bluntly 'look, why did you ask me to go for a drink?' but I doubt I'd get a reply.....The other (bigger, cold-filled and tragic) part of me thinks oh, just let it lie, she'll reply in time, after all i only emailed 2 days ago. (feels like 4 years ago)

I hope OP has had a happier day.

OP posts:
Gay40 · 26/03/2012 22:29

I'm sure she'll be around later and let us know x

Loveisthemessage · 27/03/2012 09:24

waiting with bated breath...

Original poster
pollyblue · 27/03/2012 19:59

Hi Likeatonne, how are things?

OP posts:
Gay40 · 27/03/2012 21:00

Option a) she confessed all and they've been in bed for the last 48 hours.
Option b) she's getting frustrated and dishearted by her older woman's utter reluctance to show willing.

Original poster
pollyblue · 27/03/2012 21:11

I'll hope for option A. I'll be pleased to know someone is getting some Envy

OP posts:
Loveisthemessage · 27/03/2012 21:13

Option c) they've run off together to Amsterdam to set up a tea house

Loveisthemessage · 27/03/2012 21:14

pollyblue - have you bitten off all your fingernails in anticipation of hearing from your lady or are you too busy blowing your nose?

Original poster
pollyblue · 27/03/2012 21:20

Loveis Grin thanks, you've just made me laugh. Have spent whole day blowing nose and feeling really grim.

I just know I'm going to bugger things up - I always put my foot in it when I get impatient. So if I get to Friday with no contact from her I'm bound to do something stupid like tie myself to her garden gate with a "For God's Sake Shag Me!" sign round my neck.....

OP posts:
Loveisthemessage · 27/03/2012 21:29

Poor you pollyblue. And pity your poor nose. Why is she playing so hard to get I wonder having thrown you a curveball? Some people are so backward in coming forward. You think she's doing your head in - she's totally doing mine in too.

Loveisthemessage · 27/03/2012 21:32

Option d) -- sorry, can't help it (on a roll), just adding another one: she is wrestling with Rigby & Peller brassiere as we speak

Loveisthemessage · 27/03/2012 21:34

...gone awol inside extremely tight top

Original poster
pollyblue · 27/03/2012 21:36

Thanks for the sympathy Loveis. I realised last year that she wouldn't be an easy person to have a relationship with and I consoled myself with that thought. I was so surprised when she said about going for a drink, but so (if I'm really honest) thrilled, I think deep down I feel more for her than I care to admit. But in a way I'm back to square one.

Anyhoo, that's why I've followed Likeatonnes situation - it's similar to mine in many ways and she obviously feels very deeply for her other woman. I'm really hoping she has a happy outcome.

I think there's going to be some collective head exploding soon if neither of us get a result!

OP posts:
Gay40 · 27/03/2012 22:11

Polly, just to go off on a tangent: you said earlier about having other relationships with women. Would you class yourself as bisexual, or in some other way (since you mentioned children I assumed you were with a man at some point, if not now).

Loveisthemessage · 27/03/2012 22:12

Really hoping there's a happy ending for everyone. Also, hoping Likeatonne hasn't fallen into a funk and the silence is a good thing.
Likea-- apologies for earlier comments. I didn't want to sound flippant but was trying to make light of the situation and only hope the outcome is positive and happy. It's easy to get bogged down by the heaviness of it all but important to keep a sense of humour. We are all here supporting you.