The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To Giving Up The Booze For Lent (or just for today)

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus where you'll find a mix of drinker, non drinkers, those who has been sober for a long time, and those who are getting there One Day At A Time.

Come and say hi....... we won't bite

And if you want to know how this all got started, HERE is a link to the previous threads.

Morning,

hope you are feeling ok today JWN

Thurso - where is that MIFLAW he normally appears once mentioned .
I agree - its hard to explain and I am only 9 days in but this time not drinking feels much easier and takes much less willpower than the drinking. All those times I drank glass after glass knowing that I didn't really want it, that it was all wrong for me ... that took willpower!!

But yes, its a new day, new day. Today my plan is to work a lot!! DH is out tonight, so I would normally neck the wine without fear of him noticing how much I am drinking but tonight my plan is:
work
bath
perhaps bake some biscuits as a surprise for DD.

I have also finished sorting DD birthday presents and party plans and this weekend I tested baking lots of things, so feeling all sorted now. Its amazing what you can acheive without a hangover! Although in many ways I find it incredible how much I held together whilst drinking ... although I know it wouldn't last.

Strength, coffee and hugs to babes today xx

Sunny - yes sunny and cold here

Morning all!

How are you JWN? How did it go yesterday Janes and good plan Greyhound And Dittoing MsGees strength hugs and coffee!

Looking at the silver lining here. The car started billowing stinky smoke this morning- it got hot in the car!!

But it was ok; I called the recovery service

I wasn't drunk, I wasn't embarrassed that I smelt, I wasn't hungover. I had the documents and a phone with full charge.

but I wish I wasn't showing off my lovely pedicured feet because it was blummin cold waiting for the truck

LOL at pedicured feet.

I'm off sick again today, I've virtually lost my voice. But I don't have a hangover, I actually feel like a bit boingy despite feeling ill. :)

morning! sunny, im with you in the sick beds at the back of the bus! i have lost my voice! dh says its nothing to worry about! didnt get a great nights sleep, one of teh aspects of the whole incident that is haunting me is the noise, i could hear flesh and bones being broken with the hammer and it was a noise that i dont think will ever leave me sorry if thats tmi but honestly, it was a horrific sound - i dont think i will be hearing from victim support because im a witness, not the victim iyswim? oh well, im a big girl, i expect i will get over it!
right, am taking it easy today, got some seedlings to sort out so will have a potter about the garden, then off out to a play theis evening, all normal everyday stuff, i think thats whats needed!

JWN it really sounds horrific.

Do you play tetris or bubblepop, do Sudoku? Try and distract yourself when you find yourself reliving the incident. It stops your brain laying down the memories.

Best wishes for a productive/ distracting day to all the BBs.

another one in the sick bed - sore throat and cough which just won't stop. Where is Nurse Mouse with the lemsips and daily papers?
Day 1 here - am sick to death of being in the sidecar. indie snores like a warthog.
Grey, rainy and cold here. forecast to be in the minuses tonight. Car in garage, TV blown up, bored 10 year old, ill parents. Doncha just love the holidays?

Jesus you are entitled to victim support if you want it, you witnessed a violent crime, you are affected by it. I don't want to label you but in that respect you are a 'victim' of crime, so don't be afraid to ask. Or even pay for a couple of private counselling session if you need to. The voice loss could be connected, as a reaction to stress.

Hopefully you will start to feel better over time. Keep talking about it here if you want, you will need to go over and over the incident in your mind to help process it, it will help your recovery. I'm not an expert by any means, btw, but used to work with police and they were always really supportive and helpful to witnesses x

MsGee I think you have to say it 3 times . . . MILFLAW, MIFLAW, MIFLAW . . .

(Wow, wouldn't it be spooky if he did just appear)

Good afternoon to everyone. Thank you to those who enquired as to how my evening went. I had one glass of wine over dinner and strangely for me didn't want anymore. I don't know whether I should be drinking at all though but the thought of feeling hungover/guilty/full of self-loathing makes me never want to have more than 2 drinks at a time ever again.

I know that for a binge-drinker never having more than 2 drinks is a very tall order. I read somwhere that it's a good test for whether you're truly alcohol dependent or not; just try sticking to no more than 2 drinks at a time for a month and if you can't then you know for sure.

Jesus you will be seen as a victim of the crime and eligible for victim support help, either as a victim or a witness - consider calling them if you need - www.victimsupport.org/Help-for-victims

I also second help's tactics too - I play angry birds when I get v negative thoughts because it clears my head of everything else for a few minutes!

However, Faire is also right, your mind replaying it is because you need to process it and adjust to it. You have witnessed something most people don't and it will affect your view of things - its a big adjustment. Please don't underestimate what your brain is having to work hard to do!

Faire - I will try again, MIFLAW MIFLAW MIFLAW .... fingers crossed!

At least if MIF appears JWN will have something else to think about

Jane you are doing so well and I don't want to put you off your stride, so tell me to shove off if I'm speaking out of turn , but I can hear that little voice in your ear - 'Well, you had one and that was ok. Next time you could have two. You won't know til you try. It wouldn't hurt. How bad can it be. Just a glass or two this evening. Don't have any more for a week. Well, maybe a couple of glasses on Friday, but no more, mind. Except over Easter, then right back on it next week . . . '

I've had that voice in my ear going on and on and on, driving me mad, dragging me down so that in the end I drink just to shut it up. I fear 'tis the start of the slippery slope. In fact, there is a slide from Roger the Regulated Roofrack, directly into the sidecar of shame, so beware. If you are up here on the roof with the wind blowing through your hair, you have to cling on for dear life .

Seriously though, it's such early days for you my lovely. How about back to basics. Just think of today, nothing else x

Today I will not be drinking , how about you MsGee?

Jane I planned to stick to two drinks a while back. Then I figured with my lovely big wine glasses I could fit nearly a whole bottle in two glasses ...

In my experience not having the first glass is way, way, way easier than not having the second or third. I promise.

Something I did this time is to drink a lot of cheap nasty cordial. I have no idea why it works - perhaps the sugar, perhaps my belly is so full of bloody cordial that I can't fit anything else in.

Faire you are spot on in terms of my experience, that is EXACTLY the voice in my ear!

Faire I will not be drinking today.

Right Babes DD box of goods for her party have arrived. I have loads of Minnie Mouse headbands (with ears and bow!). They are so cool that I have decided to wear a pair. They can only improve my efficiency

Ears anyone?

I got depressed last night thinking I'm going to be struggling with alcohol or no alcohol for the rest of my life - because it doesn't really seem to get easier.... that's quite sad. I seem to spend a LOT of time thinking about it, worrying how to get through an evening without it... it's such a waste of energy!

Anyway, tonight I have to clip the dog - and stay sober to do that!

Lots of support to everyone trying to do their best

Morning everyone. Hope you are ok jwn, still thinking of you. In your shoes I would push for something to help you through what you witnessed, it sounds utterly horrific.

Day 40 for me here. Someone asked further up the thread if the cravings get less strong as you go on and I can certainly say that for me, yes they do, and much less frequent. But anyway, I prefer not to think of them as cravings, more as thoughts about wine. But that does not mean that I don't expect to have surprisingly strong thoughts about wine sometimes ... they can hit you out of the blue absolutely any time, as the marvellous venusandmars mentioned the other day. The vital thing of course, is not to engage with them.

Another poster asked if (for those who aren't sure whether you are at the giving up forever stage) its a good idea to have a long period of abstention and I would say absolutely yes. I can recommend 6 weeks or 2 months (somehow a month doesn't seem quite long enough?) because, frankly, you - meaning us - are never going to get anywhere dillydallying about with a couple of nights off a couple of nights on. And you/we need to know that "triggers" can be ignored and just because we have experienced a classic "trigger" does not mean that we have to drink alcohol.

Because until we can get our heads round that then we are fighting a losing battle, I fear.

Infact, I can now see the daftness for me of describing anything as a trigger in all this mess - a few years ago I didn't need any triggers at all to reach for a bottle of wine, I just did it as a matter of course. And lets not pretend we/I only drink in response to triggers, if we/I didn't have a classic trigger one night ... well I could just invent one couldn't I?

In fact, there is a slide from Roger the Regulated Roofrack, directly into the sidecar of shame, so beware. If you are up here on the roof with the wind blowing through your hair, you have to cling on for dear life .

at Faire's post!

waves to ma

And ma, there is a slide from the sidecar of shame to lying in the road with your knickers on show . . . then it's all downhill from there

. . . until the BB Swat Team come along with the Sidney the Snow plough to scoop you up again .

Right, enough of this nonsense, I really must get on with my tidying up. Got visitors coming next week and I need a snow plough to sort out the study/spare room.

Oooh, alias meant to say, have you been on the bus before? How long have you gone without drinking? Good luck with the dog clipping, that's definately a sober job!

After a few false starts, I seem to have left the starting block and I'm now on Day 9. I am starting to feel more in control and positive this time and I am determined not to spoil this feeling over Easter.

Love to you all. Hope you are feeling better today JWN What an awful experience. Thinking of you all.

Rain xxxxxx

Brilliant, well done Rainy.

New and scared. Don't think I can really do it but I really need to. The odd night I try and give my liver a break I get terrible night sweats, like literally drench the bed. I'm going to bed early tonight as I can't sit downstairs when I feel so low, hangovers do this to me....

Reading back over some of your posts I realise alcohol is making me truly unhappy. It's the main cause of most of my problems. Never actually admitted that before

Faire and MsGee, I hear what you're saying loud and clear. I'm scared I guess, to admit I can't drink and know from experience how that little voice in your ear can lead you up the garden path.

You lot are keeping me focussed and I thank you for that. I'm off to friends now, they're not great drinkers but have a glass or two with dinner. I'll just have to see how it goes when I get there and not make any promises to myself. Have a great evening everybody.

There's always someone here to listen on the bus Lola. Do you want to say any more?

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

Sorry to ignore anyone who is around but JWN - I've PMd you. I have stood in your shoes and had to go to court to testify. If you want to talk, please, just say. You know how to reach me. I'm so so sorry that you have had such a horrific experience. Sending you my love xxx

Been Bulimic for 20 years and hangovers are a trigger plus not long beaten Breast Cancer (4 years ago) and its been proven that alcohol is a cause so immense guilt inside. I could potentially kick bulimia and alleviate part of my fear I'll get breast cancer back. Plus people are starting to notice and au don't want to be the pisshead mum, I adore my kids but truthfully how can I give them the best of me when I'm always hungover??