The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To Giving Up The Booze For Lent (or just for today)

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus where you'll find a mix of drinker, non drinkers, those who has been sober for a long time, and those who are getting there One Day At A Time.

Come and say hi....... we won't bite

And if you want to know how this all got started, HERE is a link to the previous threads.

blanket you ROCK! - and on a Saturday night too. Feel good about yourself.

Brilliant, blanket . Its lovely on the bus.

jane whatever you read or feel, don't put me (or I guess, anyone else on here) on any kind of pedestal. We are all truly in the same boat. Some may be paddling around, some desperately pulling in the wrong direction, but little by little we're all making progress. In particuloar don't feel weka or stupid if you have gone in the wrong direction tonight. Yes that particular action may not have been the best - but that does not make YOU weak or stupid. It is a strong and brave and clever action to be here, on this journey, acknowleding your / our problem and striving to do something about it. It would be more weak, and more stupid to run away or to pretend you weren't drinking when you were.

mouse you know how entwined our histories are, and I know that you've been facing some very difficult demons. It cheers me a little when I read that you had one glass of wine. It makes me sad when I read that you've had vodka. And you cannot imagine how uplifted I feel when you have night after night without anything. I know it's tough for you. I know that your meds are difficult, but I also know that when you post after a few days of consecutive sobriety you sound powerful and determined beyond belief. And I think you know that too.

HR hello, and welcome, and well.... wow.
Thank you for your honesty, and for posting. Sounds as though it's been a tough, tough week - yet you have done it when so many would have given in to that 'first' glass - and then all the subsequent ones. Please come back and tell us how you are.

Thank you all for being so welcoming :)

Is Mouse the Driver of the bus? I've read through this and the previous thread. It's brilliant that there is the support here - it's something I've been concealing for so long.

Do you think that this will ever actually go away? I mean will it always be a case of consciously exercising control? Will it ever become natural?

Isinde you can call it your weeding here x

weeding? meant wedding obviously, doh!

In my (limited) experience - it does get easier, and it does go away for surprisingly long periods of time when really and honestly it just doesn't bother me. And then on occasions - WHAM! out of nowhere a BIG big desire to drink. Sometimes it's a visual stimulus, sometimes an emotional trigger. But.... I also know that I am much better equiped to deal with it, I have tactics lined up to help (OK I think, I will have a drink, but first I'll just do these (150) things, like knit something, and organise my handbag, and do an online jigaw, and file my nails, and paint my toenails, and call my sister, and drive to my favourite walk, and eat something lovely, and drink a whole load of lime and soda, and.... and.... and...... And then when I've done all of those 150 things I'll see if I still want a drink.... Surprise, surprise, the feeling has passed (and most of the day and night too).

And then back to a long period of not having to think about drinking or worry about it. It does just feel 'normal'. I was at a wedding today and was being offered champagne left, right and centre. Previously I'd have been grabbing any glass that was going, topping up whenever possible, drinking other people's dregs. Today it was strangely easy to say 'no thanks' and simply enjoy the company of other people.

Isindie grr grr grr about the civil partnership / marriage debate. I get so angry with people sometimes that I want to punch them on the nose. Yes, right on their stupid, uninformed, bigoted, noses. And with a really big punch. So there!

morning - absolutly no boing here, had a bad bad night, sorry to be dramatic am witness to attempted murder, blood, hammer, prone body, am very very shocked, worst bit, taken in by neighbour and passed a glass of wine, i drank it without thinking, very quickly, only had the one, it was at 6.30 yesterday, been in tears a lot since - feel very weak, that my default is still to go for the booze, what about today? can i still do it? feel very very scared, dh is with me and being great, says it dosent matter it was only a glass, am very worried about the victim, bad head injuries, i feel badly sick and cant sleep

so sorry

JWN I am so sorry to hear your news. It is very shocking. Is there any chance you can get a rest now? Have you ever tried meditating? I am rubbish at it but the technique of clearing your mind might help.

Isinde I am angry on your behalf. It's a wedding FFS!

Day 8. Slept through the night with no sweats and no tremors today. The headache is still present but lessening.

Have a good day, all!

hopefully, nice to meet you! you sound like you are doing really well! have you got any rl support atm? have you thought about AA? i know its not everyones bag but it has helped me enourmously

no meditation for me, i just cant do it, my brain is too wired right now for anything, im stalking the house right now, just kind of wandering from room to room, am expecting police again today, keep going over what i saw again and again, it was so shocking that i cant quite seem to figure it all out iyswm?

jesus oh my love ((( ))) I am so sorry, it sounds like a horrific experience. DO NOT beat yourself up about the glass of wine. I suspect the physical symptoms are more shock related than alcohol.

You were in a shocked state and drank something someone gave to you. It was a knee jerk but you did not instigate it, this was not you seeking out drink. Can you think of it as simple as this - in a shocked state you drank something that you are allergic too and normally vigilant about by having. Just once, in difficult circumstances, you made an error. You will feel a bit crap as your body is a bit unhappy but no major harm done. In these circumstances you would think - shit I'm normally so good, oh well, move on.

It sounds like it will be a tough time as you've witnessed something awful. Can you get help from victim support? I assume the police will be in touch. Please be kind to yourself, lean on those around you - and us.

I am up with DD watching tv so will be here for a bit

xx

thanks msgee, im crying again!

jwn sorry x posted. I'm afraid that you will feel like this for a bit - talking will help.

Someone else might know more but as far as I understand traumatic memories are stored differently, so when you relive them it's very real and you feel right back there.

I am so sorry.

And isinde I am so ad about the family shit. I had a "wedding" but it was officially a civil thing and we weren't allowed anything religious either because it wasn't a church do. It does rule out a lot I music and readings but there are lots of other options. (( )). However I am you left me off the list as the part time stationery monitor on the bus

JWN Bloody hell that sounds terrifying. No wonder you feel all over the place. Try not to worry too much about the glass of wine - it sounds as if you were too shocked to know what you were doing.

I know you don't me - I'm a very recent new poster, but your story has inspired me and you come across as a very strong person. I'm sure you won't let this horrible incident undo all that you have achieved.

I only came on the board this morning to say that I have decided I need to abstain for a while before I can really work out whether controlled drinking is a realistic option for me. This week I had one measly alcohol-free day then seized the first available excuse to have a few drinks when a friend came to visit. And then of course I carried on for the rest of the week. Was too ashamed to come on here and post about it, but it has not been a week to be proud of.

So today I woke up feeling hungover again, and far from in the right frame of mind to look after two lively DDs, and decided that today I will not be drinking.

JWN I hope you're OK. Stay strong.

Cry away love ((( )))

JWN...oh my goodness How traumatic. Please be gentle with yourself. You really should not be beating yourself up about a glass of wine. You did not "go for the wine". You were offered some after you had a very stressful experience. You were in shock and you drank a glass. You have not reverted to past behaviours at all so please, please don't think you are on the slippery slope or anything. The really, really important thing is that you didn't carry on drinking, so well done you. I think some of us might have done (me included, no doubt about that). You are probably still in shock. Hope today goes smoothly. How awful

Hopefully. Wow. You are amazing! What a story. And it sounds like you are feeling better already. Fantastic. Keep on posting

Isinde, just grrrr. Families and weddings are a bad combination in any case (in my experience anyway, not all I'm sure) but when you throw ignorant prejudices into the mix I can only imagine how difficult that must be to deal with . Don't let the so-and-so's get you down. It will be a beautiful wedding and I am looking forward to hearing all about it . Our wedding wasn't in a church either and I did find the ban on any kind of religious reference rather frustrating, and quite non-sensical to be honest. Hope you're feeling OK today.

Hope everyone else is OK. Having a hard time at the moment. And no time to tell you all about it . I might try and pick all your v wise brains in a couple of weeks when I might have a 'window' for thinking and reflecting. Life eh?!

Have good days everyone.

ferfux - it sounds like a very good idea to try and go 'cold turkey'! i think a period of true soberity gives you back control of your life, clears your mind and lets your body recover, i think then you can make a more informed decision as to wheather you can drink in a controlled way, you do have to be brutally honest with yourself though and that can be very hard! i speak from experience! thanks for your support, i feel very odd this morning, almost otherworldly, proberbly due to not sleeping, i have heard every hour strike, dh has snored and tossed and turned and i finally gave up teh fight when the bloody seagulls woke up!

am now drinking a lemsip dh thinks it will calm me down and maybe get some sleep in while.

isindi, i think the comment about handel is one of the most stupid i have ever heard! i had forgotten about the non religious aspect of a civil wedding, dh and i got married in a register office and i now recall the woman banging on about religious words and music - i think though that if you both really think about the sentiments you want to express that secular poetry will come up trumps or failing that, dolly parton! lemsip must be working, i feel a flicker of humour!

thanks silly! i am starting to feel better, the sun is coming out and the house is warming up (i have been cold all night)