The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To Giving Up The Booze For Lent (or just for today)

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus where you'll find a mix of drinker, non drinkers, those who has been sober for a long time, and those who are getting there One Day At A Time.

Come and say hi....... we won't bite

And if you want to know how this all got started, HERE is a link to the previous threads.

Well done ferfux

To answer your question, I went completely alcohol free for 3 weeks (after many a false start) and then something just 'clicked'. I can make more rational choices even after that first drink. But I have to be constantly vigilant and plan my drinking and my not drinking in equal measure. It's hard to explain but it's like others have said, the less I have, the less I want. Getting started was the hardest part for me.

Hi. I have hovered for ages in the hope of getting on and well here I am. Seriously stressed about my alcohol consumption for ages. All very civil.. Wine at home to unwind every tea time. But it has become a real worry for me. Losing sleep, big debts, family starting to comment. Anyway I have had several weeks of dramatically cutting down with several nights no drinking. I am now very afraid that it is too late and the damage has been done. Went to the gp last week as my bp is high recently. Had bloods done. All ok except.... Yes you can guess, liver ones/ one is/ are low??? The receptionist said it is suggested it is retested in 2 weeks and that's as much as she could say. I am seeing gp tomorrow, but I am really anxious I have gone too far. I am terrified for my kids as the implications are too much to think of.

Sorry to be long and a bit vague but has anyone had this and come back from it?
I thought once the blood results start to slide the damage is already done.

Sorry if this isn't the right place for this, not really thinking straight.

Well done furfex now you have proved to yourself that you CAN do it. A whole evening without booze, what a great achievement. Just remember how impossible that seemed when you posted last week.

Evening babes, welcome to ferfux, chasingtail and greyhound. I just wanted to second what fairenuff has said (I think I am going about things pretty much the same way as you faire) - all of her advice is spot on! Am going to start grilling you for diet advice soon though faire because I am still very much a porker due to soft drinks and sweetie consumption.

Venus, just going back a couple of days, I noticed your post about being flummoxed by a sudden urge for a g & t, and I can so very much relate to the weirdness of that "out of the blue" craving because I still get those sometimes for cigarettes (even though it is now more than 3 years since I finally gave up). Did it put you off your stride at all, or were you bemused by it as much as anything? I find it helpful to laugh at my cravings in a sneering tone - oh don't be silly, you annoying little voice, of course I don't want to have anything to do with you you represent abject misery for me - as though to give in would be ridiculous. I think it is helpful to acknowledge that these cravings can and will pop up unexpectedly for many years, possibly even for the rest of our lives, but we have proved ourselves absolute experts in getting through cravings and there is no reason why that should ever change.

Hello Herbert well done for taking that first step and going to the GP. Also for posting here as well. You are now officially a brave babe .

I don't know a lot about liver damage but I do know that the liver has massive capacity to repair itself if you stay off the booze. This may be the turning point for you now, you've had a scare and it's time to face up to the problem. We can help you with that x

bibbity last night I dreamed that I ate a cupcake with gorgeous thick pink swirly icing. Then I looked around to make sure no one watching and I quickly gobbled up two more!!

When I gave up cigarettes I used to dream that I smoked. So I'm guessing that when I start dreaming about drinking, I'll know I've cracked it .

I think it is helpful to acknowledge that these cravings can and will pop up unexpectedly for many years, possibly even for the rest of our lives, but we have proved ourselves absolute experts in getting through cravings and there is no reason why that should ever change

This is how I feel too. Now I have conquered quite a few of those cravings, I feel so much more confident and empowered and capable. I am not at the mercy of alcohol, I do not have to drink, I can make a choice each day and stick to it. I will probably never be completely free of those cravings but now I have the tools to deal with them .

Yes, I suppose what I'm trying to say in a nutshell, is that I think sometimes we think we have failed/we are failing if we have cravings. As though we aren't successful at giving up unless we never give alcohol/nicotine/cocaine/whatever another thought. If we can just accept them for what they are - thoughts and feelings - and accommodate them, then no harm has been done. We are still on track, no need to veer off into a sense of hopelessness and despair.

Gah! sorry! am very waffly .

Morning all, you're not waffly Bibbity, it's very true that cravings and our attempts to overcome or ignore them are key.

Unlike with overeating you can just cut out alcohol altogether- it's harder with food, or shopping say, where you can't just step out of the ring.

Morning all - another beautiful day here

I tried to post a couple of time last night, but everytime I tried MN seemed to be offline, so I could read, but never managed to get as far as being able to log in.

Herbert well it seems like a challenge has been set for you by your body - and now you've got a couple of weeks to be very, very kind to yourself, to treat your body with all sorts of fresh clear liquids, and then to see how things appear when they re-test.

There are 3 stages of alcoholic liver disease:

• fatty liver disease
• alcoholic hepatitis
• cirrhosis

I think that it is estimated that 90% of heavy drinkers have fatty liver disease, and about 1 in 4 will go on to develop alcoholic hepatitis - IF they do not stop drinking. As Faire said, our livers are remarkable and in most situations if you stop drinking and have an excellent diet, the cells damaged in the first stage can regenerate.

If that feels tough, then come and post on here - we all have different ways of coping and maybe something on here will suit you.

Afternoon all & what a beautiful one!! This sun makes me feel so much more positive about everything. I live at least 2 hours from the coast - can the bus make a detour today to the beach please? Promise not to get sand on the seats .
Well that's 2 wine free nights (although it feels like 2 months!) - and am feeling pathetically pleased with myself. I am having to be so strict though, eat early, do ironing, spend hours on MN to try and distract myself. funny how much more productive my evenings are when not in half pissed stupor from 7pm!!
Am worried about this weekend though as visiting bro & family who all like a drink. Not so worried about how much I will drink over the weekend but that I won't be able to stop when we get back. I seem to be an habitual drinker as opposed to a binger. Should I avoid drinking at all? Does anyone have any advice??
Herbert Well done on going to the GP, you have made that brave step which I know I should probably do, but am too scared. All the luck to you in moving forward.

Hi All - Its only me.
Just wanted to comment on Chasing as I came on here about a month ago in bits about my excessive alcohol intake....
With much help from the Babes and a lot of time in bed - I managed a week. 7 whole nights. Then decided/chose to have a drink as Id done a week and so thought that I was rather brilliant.
My new and only rule was that I wasnt going to drink at home - only when out (which isnt often).
Well - I had that one evening of drinking and havent stopped since and that was 10 days ago....
I havent been able to stop again and Im right back to square one. :( Am considering AA again and feeling HORRIBLE all the time. Hungover, ill and tired.

Am over doing the carbs because it makes me feel better but getting fatter by the minute.
I wish Id waited a month before I allowed any wine to pass my lips. Im assuming that I would have been stronger by then.....
Good luck Chasing and well done so far. Youre doing brilliant.

Hello to everyone else. :o)
Ginger are you still in this shiney, clean sidecar?
Hello Venus! How are you?

x

ferfux - well done to you too. Youre doing amazing. x

It was so good to wake with a clear head this morning, and amazingly my DDs gave me a bit of a break too - no night wakings for the first time in ages so I had an almost unheard of unbroken 7 hours' sleep. Amazing!

Now I have a tricky decision to make. A friend I've not seen for a long while is making an unexpected visit today. She got married a few months ago, we've not met up since, there's a lot of catching up to do... and of course that usually means a few drinks too. I know what I should do is simply tell her I'm not drinking at the moment, but I'm really not sure if I can do it. Bugger, why did she have to come this week of all weeks. I really don't want to blow it, but I find it so hard to imagine a completely sober evening with her.

Well done on your 2 wine-free evenings chasing. I too have noticed (on previous attempts to stop) just how much more productive I am when not half-cut. I even started reading proper books again - a real joy. And lots of those annoying little jobs got done for the first time in months or even years. Makes me wonder how much more organised my life in general would be if I had never had a drink. I'd probably be flippin' prime minister or something!

Thanks blanket. Sorry you're having such a rough time at the moment. I considered AA a few years ago and did go along to a few meetings but I just couldn't somehow 'submit' to the idea that I was an alcoholic. It's only a label, but it's one I didn't feel ready for. So, I just carried on drinking instead - great logic!

chasing so are you planning to join in with the drinking over the weekend? My long history of stop/start drinking would tell me that it was difficult to stop again after a boozy weekend. So maybe limit yourself to one drink on the Monday (as late in the day as you can), then abstain again on the Tuesday. And there is nothing to stop you from limiting your drinking over the weekend. Just make sure that the first 2 drinks that everyone else has, you have soft drinks, and don't join in till the third round - you will be more hydrated, you'll be less drunk and better able to make decisions, and you'll feel much brighter than everyone else in the morning.

Hi Blanket - OK so you've experiment with that, and found it didn't work for you, so what are you going to try next. Why not give AA a go? It's only another experiment. I'm not a regular, but I have been to some meetings and I have never found them as awful as I imagined they might be, in fact guess what, there were quite a few people there who sounded just like me.

ferfux did you ever go out with this friend while you were pregnant, or at work, or in any other situation where you couldn't drink? I bet you still had a good time. I had a couple of long-standing hard drinking buddies that I didn't see for a while because all our times together revolved round drink, but I found other friends refreshingly unbothered - some I'm sure were happy to have all the drink to themsleves, and others were fine with having an evening without drink . And in recent times I've had some of the best nights out with my friends for a long time - genuine laughter of friendship - and I can remember it all in the morning

I'm clearing my desk, and I found one of my favourite quotes, by Anais Nin: "A man whom life intoxicate, who has no need of wine".

Today, in the warm sunshine, life is intoxicating me, and today, I have no need of wine

Blanket - I totally know where are you coming from. For as long as I can remember I've woken up foggy headed, un rested & full of self-loathing that I don't have the will power to stop drinking. I guess we have to just keep at it, pick ourselves up after falling off the wagon & try again (or as a good friend puts it "chin up, tits out" . And at least you given serious thought to all the avenues of support out there. I just bury my aching head in the sand.
Ferfuxache, on the productive evening front I even cleared out my airing cupboard last night - an exercise not undertaken lightly taking a mahoosive 2 1/2 hours!! Who could have guessed I have 8 waterproof sheets for 2 DCs!! Still kept me away from that half bottle sat in cupboard!! Will be domestic goddess in no time!
Re. the going out with friends, I also have a weekend away with my BF next week for her 40th, so understand your pain We are going to a gorgeous spa hotel, but of course I had planned the whole thing around the inevitable cocktails/champagne quaffing experience. Feel really freaked out now about what to do.
Briliant timing for abstinence - weekend at brother's, followed by weekend with BF
Venus, that is a good plan re. leaving the first drink as long as poss. By the time they are on their 3 rd glass maybe I won't even feel like partaking (who am I kidding??) Think I am a bit of an all or nothing girl, & maybe the only way I am going to control these temptations is to steer clear altogether.
Sorry for ramblings and sounding so self absorbed...these are all thoughts that have been in my head for sooooo long but I've never before felt able to share with anyone.

Thanks - Fairenuff. The boxing ring analogy is so accurate. Had I thought more about Saturday night, I would have eaten more (the food in the restaurant wasn't great so I picked at it) and not drunk spirits. Even if I had stuck to wine, it would have been better than what actually happened.

afternoon! - i have been away for a couple of days so just had a quick read through, i have a few 'ponderings' i see more and more babes are trying the 'controlled drinking' thing, tbh, it sounds fucking hard work! all these rules, all this angst over timings and outings, why are you doing this to yourselves? there will ALWAYS be a reason to drink, you can always make excuses as to why you drink, you will always find a way to justify the amount you drink, you can reason that you should have eaten more, stuck to white wine, gone out later, gone home earlier, etc etc, thats what problem drinkers do!!! i think a question that many need to answer honestly is why you joined the bus? is it so that people would help you excuse your drinking habits? is it because you simply want reasurrance that you havent actually got liver damage?

or is that you really WANT to change?
that you WANT to feel better?
that you WANT to take back real control over your lives?

i ask this because reading the thread today, it dosent look to me like controlled drinking is working for most of you, the booze is still uppermost, dominating your thoughts, your friendships, your relationships, your lives.

im not being harsh, just calling it like i see it! i think if you REALLY could control your drinking, you wouldnt need this bus!

btw, that was a 'catch all' post! NOT directed at any one individual!

sorry, didnt mean to piss you off!

just checking in. things very difficult.