The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To Giving Up The Booze For Lent (or just for today)

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus where you'll find a mix of drinker, non drinkers, those who has been sober for a long time, and those who are getting there One Day At A Time.

Come and say hi....... we won't bite

And if you want to know how this all got started, HERE is a link to the previous threads.

JWN I agree with you - for me trying to control my drinking was just so, so difficult. And then it was so, so easy for me to pretend that I was doing OK, when in reality I was sneaking around hiding drinks. Personally I find it much easier not to drink at all. However, nothing could have persuaded me of that a couple of years ago. I really struggled with the idea on never having another drink - still do tbh. So what I offer is my many years of experience of how best to control out-of-control drinking. And if like me you find that that experiment doesn't work, then join me, one day at a time, in my current (and more successful) not-drinking experiment.

ma drinking-wise or home issues? or both? Sending you big comforting thoughts across the water x

venus - i dont think about 'never', i just think about today!, yesterday is long gone and tomorrow hasnt happened yet - today is the only day that counts really!

btw, dd and her df are viewing loft apartments in a nice part of a northern city right now, where did i go wrong? my first house was a victorian terrace which we bought because my then dh could ride his harley in through the front door!

home issues so drinking.

Evening, tis me, Mouse

Not caught up, I will go back in a mo.....

Ma - talk to us/me. I'm worried about you my lovely. What's happened today? xx

Whoops, change of plan, Nemo needs his 'Mamma bear' so I better say goodnight to you all.

Hopefully, I'll get enough time tomorrow to come back and catch up with you all.

Night night lovely Brave Babes xx

Hi. Thank you for the supportive words so far.
JWN, you speak such sense. I have been justifying my behaviour for so long. Need to face facts and so far you are all proving good listeners.
The gp said today that yes there are 2 slightly abnormal liver enzymes but she's not worried. May be down to herbal remedies or a recent illness.... Yeah right.
So there is the wake up call. The hardest thing is imagining never having that lovely first drink again.
How pathetic.

It is really good to know that I'm not the only one in such a mess. You all tell such familiar stories.
Again, thank you for being there. So, on with night 2 of the latest attempt at trying to get out of this mess..

Like JWN I'm an all or nothing girl and at the moment I am choosing the nothing option.

I tried all the cutting down, not drinking in the week, only drinking certain types of wine etc. etc. options for years and years, it all just lead around in circles, always back to me passed out on the sofa with a couple of empty bottles by my side.
Now I just make one decision each day - today I will not be drinking - simples!

Of course in the early days it wasn't that simple but it does get easier.

Use the resources that are available to you, AA, RL friends and the Brave Babes Battle Bus can all make a huge difference.

Evening all long time no see. I'm still not drinking and very happy not to be. I think I'm up to 20 months. I just wanted to say that I spent five miserable years "controlling" my drinking. The planning, bargaining, negotiating, remorse,failure, denial... finally overtook just about every waking hour of the day. I was emotionally exhausted every single part of my life was in some way dominated by alcohol, whether I was drinking it or not. I was miserable with it and miserable without it. In the end I admitted that I am an Alcoholic or some variation of one, cried like a baby and walked away. I have NEVER regretted my decision. Whatever life throws at me ( there have been a few curve balls recently) nothing feels as bad as drinking made me feel. Hope that inspires any babes thinking of giving up to go for it. Still proud to be a babe. Xxx

Hey Missperrier great to see you, and to know that you are still lurking around here. I hope you are managing kicking those curve balls into touch [mixed metaphors emoticon]

Ma

Thinking of you xxxxxxxx

Isindie are you sure that you named Gerald - I have a different memory but that might be the alcoholic brain memory

missp!!!! lovely to see you!

silver, just stay with us my love, you'll get there in the end!((((hug))))

It's hard because the whole point of this thread is to support, and it doesn't seem very supportive to point out when something's not working.

But JWN's right- controlled drinking really doesn't seem to be working for many of the BBs.

I work with the long term unemployed and was once trying to persuade a client who had not worked for ages to let me help him rewrite his CV,

"Oh no! I've been using this one for 10 years."

He'd been doing the same thing for 10 years and getting the same result...but didn't think anything needed to change.

Hey all

I went out with a friend tonight and had one drink. I didn't want another.

Then I came home - and waddyano 'D'H is pissed off his face again. I realise that I drink more with him than I do with others.

Shit Babes, it is coming up to decision time. I could be a twice divorcee :(

Controlled drinking is working for me. My alcohol problems were/are mostly habit based I think. I suppose I probably don't need this bus any more but it's such early days for me that I've been hanging around for a bit. I don't feel that I need to drink every day. I don't miss it. I like not drinking.

Equally, I like drinking on those rare occasions that I do. However, I can see that this might not be helpful to people who are trying to stop altogether. The main thing that cutting down has taught me is that I'm no longer afraid of a life without alcohol. If I had to stop, I would. Alcohol is not that big a deal anymore. It's just that right now I don't need to stop. Maybe this bus is not the right place for me anymore.

But I couldn't have come this far without you all. From drinking too much, almost every day, to less than a glass a week! I'm not going back to my old ways, I've changed completely. You're such a bunch of wonderful, inspiring, intelligent, funny, compassionate people, I don't know what I would have done without you. A big mwah to all of you x

Faire-Maybe this bus is not the right place for me anymore.

Don't go! you talk a lot of sense and it does sound as if controlled drinking is working for you.

I just know that however long I remained vigilant but still flirting around the ring, there would be a day when the brakes came off.

@ rigourously regulated roofrack.

faire - I really enojy your posts, there's a lot of wisdom, humour and humanity, but importantly for me, reading them reminds me that I am not a normal drinker (lest I lull myself into a false sense of security). I read "less that a glass a week" and my alcoholic brain still asks 'Why? Where's the enjoyment in that?'

So I'm off to be intoxicated by another sunny day (and delighted by a clear desk).

DON'T YOU DARE MADAM!!!!!

Well for me JWN words are true. I have tried so many times in the past to regulate my drinking and every time (the last time was Friday) it fails and I end up having far too much and slip back into my old ways.

So I am trying to give up altogether and I am on Day 4. I always get stuck on Day 6 but am aiming to get past that point this week.

TODAY I AM NOT DRINKING

Faire you ain't going nowhere (unless of course you actually want to go :(). I, too, have wondered whether I should still be here. Not because I think I'm 'cured' now but because I have wondered whether I might be somehow, in some small way, delaying someone else's progress. Like when I have said I have just had a couple of drinks and then stopped, could I be inadvertently encouraging someone else to carry on drinking when really they are at a point where they really should be abstaining altogether?? Not that I think I'm that influential but I hope you know what I mean . So I do understand where you're coming from, Faire, but I for one would miss you hugely. You, and others, have played a big part in my journey from heavy, daily drinker to moderate drinker (less than the advised units limit, shock horror!). Like Isinde said, I wouldn't have got on the bus in the first place if it was just for total abstainers. I have HUGE respect for everyone who doesn't drink at all but for me, for now, I'm not ready to give it up completely. Time will tell whether or not I'm being naive, or whether I'm in denial, but right now I am not a problem-drinker. I don't often find it a struggle now and I can't quite believe how much better I feel about it. Without this bus and its Brave Babes I would still be practically passing out every single night. Fact. You have helped me to manage my cravings, organise my life a bit better, and be mindful of my drinking. So purrleeeaassseee stay, lovely Faire :)

JWN I hear you, but this is really early days for me & frankly the idea of never having another drink scares me shitless! Maybe I am sticking my head in the sand but at this stage don't think I know myself well enough to establish if I need to completely abstain or if I can walk the tightrope of controlled drinking. Hearing about all the paths people have taken has at least made me acknowledge that I do have problem but am by no means the only passenger of a very large bus .

All I know is that I am on day 4, and even when I stopped by local shop this morning for loo roll (oh the glamour!) I managed to walk straight past chilled wine without stopping - minor miracle!!

I really am taking inspiration from all you Babes.