The Brave Babes Battle Bus - On Their Way To Giving Up The Booze For Lent (or just for today)

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus where you'll find a mix of drinker, non drinkers, those who has been sober for a long time, and those who are getting there One Day At A Time.

Come and say hi....... we won't bite

And if you want to know how this all got started, HERE is a link to the previous threads.

Hi there - can I get on the bus? Been drinking far too much wine in the evenings :( It's been going on for years. I have depression and bipolar type two as well, which only exacerbates the boozing. My grandfather was an alcoholic and died when he was 52 because of his drinking.

What is odd is that I don't really drink socially. In fact, I prefer not to drink if I am out with friends. If I do drink when I'm out, it's only a couple of glasses of wine at the most. I think I have got into the habit of drinking over the years as a way of relaxing at the end of the day.

I hate to think how much money I have spent on wine over the years - must be thousands :(

Thanks Isin - well, I can't see myself living without alcohol so I guess I am going to cut down. Having said that, I've just bought some wine from Iceland (classy) :(

I've actually been for my yearly mental health check up. I told the GP that I was drinking four or so glasses of wine an evening. He said that, as long as I am eating food at the same time, I shouldn't worry too much. However, he also said to only drink on alternate days. I think that is the way to go for me.

I definitely have an issue with alcohol - I know exactly what percentage most wines are and don't drink anything less than 12%. I know where all the bargain offers are and feel anxious if I don't have 'enough' wine in the house. Psychologically, I am addicted to wine even if I am not physically addicted (that is to say, I don't have physical withdrawal symptoms).

I really look forward to wine in the evenings - it worries how much I think about drink.

My problem started in my 20s, when I lived on my own in London and would have a drink in front of the tv most evenings. Before that, alcohol was something I could take or leave. Even at uni, where there was a big drinking culture, I didn't like alcohol because the cheap wine and beer my mates drank tasted so vile. I only ever drank out of peer pressure and never at home.

I have managed to give up in the past, but only managed a few days. I think I am a typical middle class, middle aged binge drinker.

Hi Greyhound

I can identify with a lot of your post.

Well I didn't quite stick to my 'quota' last night. I am not going to beat myself up over it. Today is another day.

I have a very busy one planned.

Today I am not drinking.

Morning all.

Isinde good job putting the second one down. No problem at all with your post, not what you say just the way that you say it sometimes, and I really don't want it fester, it spoils the whole purpose of the thread. I feel more upset about that than any tirades I get, used to those on a daily basis, so if anyone feels the need to stick it to me, a PM would be better for the sake of everyone else's feelings imo. I promise not refer to anyone as a girl again here too.

So moving on again lol, Ma, so sorry you were blue yesterday, but Spring is springing, and Faire as ever is right, the weight will shift. I hate these commercialized dates, did the Americans start it ?

Wrath I think you are doing really well, and glad that you have got dh involved.
We use an ACR, Alcohol Controlled Regime really as invention, not everyone is alcoholic, and it works superbly. All about routines and finding a way that stops you thinking and planning constantly, just anything to eliminate the stress and worry of it all.

Nigella you will start to ease off on the sweets, are you taking your Vitamin B?

I had a good day too Bibbity, ds made a meal, his own concoction, no help from me, which is another bittersweet moment really.

Hello Greyhound, well done for joining the battle bus. Seems like the GP is giving decent advice, and the babes will help you with that, if you're not having any physical withdrawals have you thought about perhaps just having a week without any as a starting point? If you can do that, it gives you a bit of confidence to start with a clean slate.

Into the breech, seeing women at home today so a more relaxing Monday for them.

I'm off for a while - finding the thread a bit difficult at the moment. But don't worry I'm doing OK, I'll be lurking often, and I will post whenever I find that it helps me to do so [selfish cow emoticon]

im afraid im coming with you venus - this is not the right place for me at the moment, i stand by what i have said, and reading the above post from sarah it has only confirmed to me how i feel. im certainly not flouncing, i enjoy mumsnet far too much for that so i expect i will see some of you around on the boards! its just this thread that i can no longer use, i feel extremely sad that it has come to this because i value the people i have met here very much indeed! i will lurk and hopefully keep in touch with some very dear friends.
much love JWN XXX

Oh no! I will really miss your posts, both of you. You are quite inspirational.

Don't go! I only just got here!

Don't go! People are bound to disagree sometimes but this seems a really supportive thread.

Ginger - agree about not beating yourself up, what's the point? Just tell yourself that you lapsed a bit last night but tonight will be better.

Sarah - I've tried to give up for a week, usually just lasted a few days but I really should give it a go. I'm really interested in your story and your line of work. You may call me a 'girl' anytime lol!

Right I am off. I have tried to explain, in pm too Isinde, Venus perhaps you would like to share with those that feel this way. This is your lifeline, not mine, and I am not selfish enough to deny anyone that.

It is indeed very sad.

Be safe and I shall leave you to it. x

Hmm.... it seems I have missed more than just updates....

I will go and read back. I have to say that I am very saddened to see three very regular, loved and supportive posters leaving over just one.

I'm sure that you have good intentions at heart Sarah and maybe I have missed something in my absence but we have never had people actually leave this thread because one particular poster has made it a difficult place to be for them.

I'm going to read back and try to make sense of all this.

I feel so very knowing that IsinDe, JWN, and venus are no longer going to be around.

Ginger (and anyone else for that matter) I will be around if you want some company this evening. Do shout loud if you feel a wobble coming on and someone will respond and help you through it.

Welcome to the bus Greyhound. I am just wondering whether you told your GP that you think you are addicted, rather than just the amount you drink? Drinking alternate days is obviously better than drinking every day. So, is today a drinking or not drinking day for you?

I can relate to so much in your post as I always used to drink at home in the evening. Hopefully you will be able to break that habit .

Why not start a thread of your own Sarah, asking if people would like to talk about drinking/drinking too much/giving up drinking. You surely can see that you have got on the bus and "taken over" a wee bit? The many references to the work you do in your clinic are disconcerting, even to me a relatively infrequent poster. I hate to be unwelcoming to anyone on any thread - I just think a little more sensitivity is required on your part, perhaps?

sorry, not seeing the extent of the problem here to merit all this leaving in high dudgeon ...have seen many worse posts than sarah's, who I think is trying to be helpful in her own way. If you don't like, then ignore. I don't feel patronised by someone saying I've done a good job putting the drink down, or by calling me a girl.
Sorry sarah you have felt the need to withdraw - hopefully your sensitivity in doing so will be appreciated.

Me again, I've read back a few pages and seen what others have said.

Sarah - for me, I find that it's as if you are including us in your 6000 people, and if I'm honest, I feel that your posts can be patronising at times, although I doubt it's a deliberate act.

Maybe if you chatted to us about, oh I don't know, your trip to Morrisons and how the fish was on offer but then it made you think of the best wine to go with it, or how best to care for your Mooncup? or your favourite chocolate bar on a regular basis, rather than 'work'.... something to make you more human, I'd be able to connect with your posts more.

We all come on here, new or not, and tend chatter about the day to day things that go on, most of them lead to, or are because of our drinking/not drinking. We all have worries, things that build up, things that we can help others with and we all have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol.

Some of us are still drinking and don't want to stop because we're just not ready yet. I am such a person but for those who do want to stop, I will support them 100%. I think that at times, you can be all guns blazing when a new poster arrives.

I'm not saying you don't offer support, that's certainly not the case, but as others have said, you do have a tone of therapist, which is not what this Bus has ever been about.

I don't want to see anyone go, ever. We've lost some fantastic posters along the way, and then again, we've lost posters who in my mind, took the piss advantage of the kind nature of some people here and I'm not sad to see the back of them.

Everyone is welcome here. Always. But like with most things in life, there's always going to be someone who you don't get along with Babes. It happens in school, at work, all over the place. It doesn't make you a bad person to say that you don't agree with another poster, it makes you HONEST and that is what this thread has always been about.

Honesty. With a dash of humour and a shit load of support!

Hello to all of the new posters! Wonderful to see you here

DH has been to the doctor about his throat. There's nothing they can do until he has had Tonsillitis more. Apparently 3 times isn't enough for them to act, and the antibiotics don't work. So, no drinking, caffeine, or anything that's not water for a week and heavy duty pain meds for at night so he can sleep, and I'm going in with Nemo as not to disturb him.

Fingers crossed we can make this work and he feels better soon.

Had a lovely day yesterday, I did drink but in a controlled way, I even left some pink fizz in my glass and went to bed! That is unheard of! so I do feel rather proud of myself for that.

Another busy week ahead with hospital appts and home visits for Nemo. Hopefully, going to my friends' house tomorrow for a catch up and a glass of wine.

Mouse I love how your drinking is sounding so controlled recently. I do hope your DH is better soon, personally I can't cope with ill men!!!

Thanks Horse - I read your sad post and sat here nodding and thinking about someone I knew who had a heart transplant, swore he'd never drinking again and then did. He's dead now.

I had trouble liking him for a while, what a waste of a heart.

How are you doing Horse?

The Brave Babes - Honesty. With a dash of humour and a shit load of support!

Mouse I really like that! If it's ok with you, I'm going to have it made into a banner to go on the side of the bus .

Isinde don't you disappear on me just because you handed over the driver's cap. This is a big bus and I'm only 5'2", my little legs can hardly reach the pedals and I need to sit on a big cushion to see over the steering wheel.

Hang onto your hats babes, here we go .

am in dire need of hugs right now
at shortarse faire...was supposed to jog today but cba.

Oh, Ma - sorry that you are in need of hugs right now. I wish I had a magic wand....

Faire - I'd be offended if you didn't use it as the Bus banner!

Right lovely Babes, I'm off to the doom and gloom of an ill DH, I so wish he was better, and to make something lovely and stodgy healthy for dinner.

Back soon xx

Mouse thanks for your wise words, as ever. I have high hopes that our dear friends will miss us after a couple of days and come back to join us.
I do hope that your DH gets well soon - is he getting a chance to rest without putting you under too much pressure?

Welcome greyhound I was also a middle aged, middle class binger/alcoholic, but this thread saved me, and it could really help you as well.

Your tale about the GP made me smile - 4 large glasses would be a quiet night for most of the medics I know

How are you getting on this evening?

My lovely DC bought me soft drinks, flavoured teas and sweets for Mothers day, I was sooo delighted

Hello lovely babes

greyhound I'm a middle aged binger, and the wonderful babes on this bus are helping me.

Ma huge hugs xxx