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Original poster

DP wants to buy food seperately

539 replies

NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain · 30/01/2012 20:37

Me and DP have lived together for 2 years but for the first year and a half we lived in a commune with 30 other people with a cooking rota.
Now we live in a cottage together (since last September) he is really annoying me, he wants us to buy our own food and do our own shopping.
But when I come home from work I find that he has been eating my food so I go to get breakfast and its gone.
It really pisses me off that he refuses to shop with me but when I'm out, he eats all my (good quality) food.
What can I do?
Tonight we got into a silly argument, I said look I want to start shopping together for food and he got angry saying you eat my pea nut butter and my bread, so petty ad juvenile. But I'm starting to resent him eating my food whilst refusing to pay for any of it AHHH help!

OP posts:
Haberdashery · 30/01/2012 21:18

In our house it would go like this:

DH: These tomatoes are expensive.

Me: I don't care, I like them.

DH: OK, then.

gettingeasier · 30/01/2012 21:19

Am laughing my head off !! Sorry OP if you love this guy then its not funny but trust me to us MNers he is just priceless I would expect more maturity from my 15yo DS.

Yep its time to wave goodbye to him and his debts peanut butter

PigletUnrepentant · 30/01/2012 21:19

Ok... in black and white:

  • He hardly helps with the bills
  • He is tight about FOOD
  • He is nearly 20 years older than you
  • ... and no satisfying sex life???

FGS woman, what on Earth are you getting out of this?

Bestb411pm · 30/01/2012 21:19

Does he have some sort of mental illness? He doesn't sound the healthiest to me? Maybe he's embarrassed about his money and doesn't have enough to contribute 50/50?

Definitely not a reason to prolong the relationship if your not happy though OP, more just an opinion to give him to mull over and sort his life out.

TheSecondComing · 30/01/2012 21:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

motherinferior · 30/01/2012 21:24

Yep, if you want a mid-40s bloke I can assure you there are many who would shower you with the tomatoes of your choosing and provide you with wall-to-wall sex.

Or better still, you could roam wild and free among the lovely opportunities afforded to a 27 year old in today's busy modern world Envy

SomebodySaveMe · 30/01/2012 21:25

Eggs and steak are a health freak diet if he's muscle building or on weight loss. It's the carbs you dont have but plenty of meat and eggs.
Irrelevant I know.

OP he sounds like a tosser. Run and take your food with you. You can have a proper life without this waste of space.

PigletUnrepentant · 30/01/2012 21:25

And no, relationships don't need to end traumatically. I hugged my husband all the night with a big smile in my face the night before he moved out.

I'm still smiling, good riddance.

ExitPursuedByaBear · 30/01/2012 21:25

Relationships often just fizzle out. I always say that being 28 was the perfect age.

Move on.

scummymummy · 30/01/2012 21:27

Glad there are no kids to worry about. Dump dump dump the food tealeaf! You might be my daughter's primary school teacher one day, after all and I don't want any of her teachers being treated like this by a complete wankweevil such as the one you describe. Honestly, he sounds rubbish and you deserve better.

Original poster
NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain · 30/01/2012 21:27

But if he came to me and said, 'look I'm really struggling at the moment can I use some of the food you buy and then when I'm back o my feet Ill do the same for you' I would happily more than happily help but it's just the arrogance of him saying 'your food is unhealthy then eating it when I'm not there that winds me up
I think I'm going to just stop trying from my side, over new years eve I actually had some time off whilst he did and was looking forward to spending time with him but he decided he wanted to go and get stoned with his mates he said why don't you come with me but it's just not my scene and I wouldn't feel comfortable so I just stayed in on my own, so things have been pretty dry for a while now I look at it honestly.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain · 30/01/2012 21:27

excuse lack of punctuation am v tired and cross!

OP posts:
choux · 30/01/2012 21:27

Maybe it's egg rage not roid rage?

OP - you could be having fun with friends and meeting different men who have no debts, a work ethic and the possibility of a fulfiliing future. Instead you have food arguments with man who avoids his creditors, runs away from self improvement and masturbates into you occaisionally. Hmm - which is more appealing?

cutteduppear · 30/01/2012 21:27

I hope you are looking forward to a life and peanut butter jar all of your own by now - what motherinferior said.

MinnieBar · 30/01/2012 21:28
  1. Buy a lock
  1. Put it on the front door
  1. Buy what food you like
  1. Eat what you like.

Job done.

motherinferior · 30/01/2012 21:28

He sounds, worst of all, incredibly boring. I had a boyfriend a little like him when I was your age. I finally came to my senses and dumped him and oh the sweet relief.

KatieScarlett2833 · 30/01/2012 21:28

Have you ever read the Marion Keyes book about the girl who lived with Thomas (Tara I think her name is)

If so, you are the next GF of Thomas once he lost his job at the school and joined a commune

This IS NOT A GOOD THING

LesserOfTwoWeevils · 30/01/2012 21:29

Yet another voice saying leave him, he sounds horrible and you will be much happier without him.

KatieScarlett2833 · 30/01/2012 21:31

Last Chance Saloon

scummymummy · 30/01/2012 21:31

MI is right- he does sound dull as ditchwater. And you say he is not good at sex either. He MUST GO!!!!

amigoingmadhere · 30/01/2012 21:33

I have never said this on a thread before, but LEAVE HIM Grin He is not good for you.

ChasTittyBeltUp · 30/01/2012 21:34

Gruffalo he shouldn't be saying anything about "your food" and "his food" bcause you are meant to share everything as a couple that lives together!

helpyourself · 30/01/2012 21:36

Op, you are so young!
There are no prizes for long service- concentrate on your needs and be free.

Finallygotaroundtoit · 30/01/2012 21:38

He's a Manchild.

I don't think he resigned because he wouldn't do further training - he was probably sacked for incompetence.

He has lots of debt but sticks his head in the sand.

He eats your food cos it's nicer than his and treats you with contempt.

You can do better

tribpot · 30/01/2012 21:39

God, it is Tara and Thomas from Last Chance Saloon. If he has a little brown purse that he extracts coins from one at a time, or if he says "I speak as I find", get out now.

In seriousness, he sounds like bad news. I can't imagine what you would hang on for - except perhaps because, as you say above, you expect an ending to be dramatic and not just a gradual dwindling of affection.