DP wants to buy food seperately

[NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain]

Me and DP have lived together for 2 years but for the first year and a half we lived in a commune with 30 other people with a cooking rota.
Now we live in a cottage together (since last September) he is really annoying me, he wants us to buy our own food and do our own shopping.
But when I come home from work I find that he has been eating my food so I go to get breakfast and its gone.
It really pisses me off that he refuses to shop with me but when I'm out, he eats all my (good quality) food.
What can I do?
Tonight we got into a silly argument, I said look I want to start shopping together for food and he got angry saying you eat my pea nut butter and my bread, so petty ad juvenile. But I'm starting to resent him eating my food whilst refusing to pay for any of it AHHH help!

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

Jesus get out of there OP, seriously. You are being used.

What kind of future are you hoping for with this man?

[susiedaisy]

He sounds like a right Pratt tbh and I would finish the relationship and move on, you meet him in a commune which is removed from average life bit like havin a holiday romance now you're in 'normal' day to day life the novelty has worn off IMO

[tardisjumper]

Just to put this into perspective my DP and I are about your age and since we have been living together money for bills INCLUDING FOOD BILLS goes straight out of our accounts into a joint account on payday. We have no DC, we have separate finances but we do this.

Yes there was some, 'WHO ATE ALL THE CHEESE?", and 'WHO DIDN'T BUY ENOUGH CHEESE' at the beginning, but that was over pretty sharpish.

[KatieScarlett2833]

"Can you go away" ???????

WTAF?

I suggest you take his advice and go far, far away - from him, forever.

[ImperialBlether]

@ 'Who ate all the cheese?'

[Molasses]

40 eggs a week; steak for breakfast = aspiring to be healthy? This man is very odd and steals your vine tomatoes while telling you off for buying them. Put him back where you found him.

[openerofjars]

Get rid, he is a tightwad and a berk.

Find someone who, when you come home, has bought delicious treats especially for you and enjoys sharing things with you.

Life is far too short to spend with peanut-butter hoarding weirdos.

[NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain]

He does have a job when we met he was a teacher but the school kept pestering him to take further teaching qualifications (professional development) which he put off until they threatened to fire him, he resigned and now works nights in an old peoples home for minimum wage.
He has thousands of pounds worth of debt and people constantly ringing him to ask why he has missed payments he just ignores the calls and hast taken any steps towards bankruptcy, constantly putting EVERYTHING off until tomorrow.
Sa as it is to say I dont think Im that happy with him any more

[ImperialBlether]

He didn't steal the tomatoes, Molasses; he put them back on the shelf because he wasn't prepared to pay for them. (OP had put them in the trolley; he was paying for the meal.)

[KatieScarlett2833]

How on earth did he survive in an effing comune?

Was he constantly watching the participants every mouthfull?

[mercibucket]

Just buy a lock for the cupboard and locking containers for the fridge
This does not solve the bigger problem of living with an eternal student though

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

Run away OP, run fast.

[ImperialBlether]

OP, do you realise how absolutely lovely it is to be a single 27 year old? You can go where you want, eat what you want, mix with whomever you want.

You won't have the worry of those phone calls and you won't be living with someone who was so daft he refused to undergo further training in his job. Just for the record, if he had a degree and PGCE, any further training would be merely that, not further teaching qualifications.

[mamalovesmojitos]

Sorry but at 'release him back into the wild'. He doesn't sound like he is the man for you op. You are so young. Take back your freedom and find somebody nice who will share his food with you
.

[TheGrimSweeper]

Dump the fucker, this has to be one of the most bizzare threads I've seen on mn...and I've been here a few yrs now. Quite spectacularly bizzare

[Molasses]

Ah, sorry, thought she'd already bought them. Too much wine you see. Still, he steals her other food. Point stands :)

[ThatVikRinA22]

send him back to the commune.....sounds like student life suited him very well - you sound too mature to be wasting time of this silly sod. get out now, while you can.

[scummymummy]

God, he sounds awful, ntbga. Please dump him. Do you have children?

[Sarsaparilllla]

He sounds awful and it's all too juvenile and depressing, get rid and leave him to his egg eating frenzy, weirdo, seriously he sounds really bizarre

[KatieScarlett2833]

mercibucket Or the great big huge elephant in the room problem of his unwillingness to share, tightfistedness, accusing then blanking, taking advantage of the OP, hypocrosy........

[PatriciaHolm]

Does he have ANY redeeming features? I'm guessing they are few and far between. He's a nightmare, and at 47 isn't going to change. Free yourself! Run away and live the life of a young free and single, solvent 27 yr old (wistfully reminisces....)

[NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain]

No we don't have children, I'm working full time and studying part time at the moment, I've applied for uni waiting to hear back, I want to be a primary school teacher and have children when I'm qualified, I think this food thing is just the tip of the ice berg come to think of it we hardly ever have sex anymore and it's not really how it used to be just quick and more for his pleasure sorry if TMI
.... it's not working is it?
I always thought the end of a relationship had to be dramatic and heart wrenching but I'
im feeling quite numb to be honest quite 'auto-pilot'
sorry to ramble this has just got me thinking, thanks for all your input

[PigletUnrepentant]

Obviously, he survived in the commune because you all were subsidising him probably without noticing. Now that is only you, it is obvious.

It is not about who bought this or who got that, it is about consideration towards the other: pay a fair share of the bill and respect stuff you didn't want but the other got.

However, considering his age and attitude, I have to agree with the rest... release him into the wild, you still have all your life ahead of you to waste him in someone whose ghastly habits are not going to change. It will just get worse, honest.

[Haberdashery]

He sounds both bonkers and really irritating. Get rid of him! You are young and he is a silly fussy middle aged man. If you really want an old man, then get one like mine who will happily pay any price I tell him to for tomatoes even though he would probably rather eat his own toenail clippings than an actual tomato.

[KatieScarlett2833]

I'm so happy you don't have DC with this specimen.