DP wants to buy food seperately

[NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain]

Me and DP have lived together for 2 years but for the first year and a half we lived in a commune with 30 other people with a cooking rota.
Now we live in a cottage together (since last September) he is really annoying me, he wants us to buy our own food and do our own shopping.
But when I come home from work I find that he has been eating my food so I go to get breakfast and its gone.
It really pisses me off that he refuses to shop with me but when I'm out, he eats all my (good quality) food.
What can I do?
Tonight we got into a silly argument, I said look I want to start shopping together for food and he got angry saying you eat my pea nut butter and my bread, so petty ad juvenile. But I'm starting to resent him eating my food whilst refusing to pay for any of it AHHH help!

[scarletforya]

He's a freeloading parasite. Get rid of him quicksmart. He'll bleed your goodwill dry.

[NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain]

Binfullofsiliconelimbsonthe45
I buy the toilet paper because if he buys it he gets it in bulk from Lidls and it makes my hair stand on end because it's all squeaky, I like quilted, I work full time study part time and have no kids I will have quilted bog roll!

The other day I said I always have to clean the oven he has to next time and he said "I never use the oven" (not true)
This makes me furious it's so unfair.

[madonnawhore]

He's a prick. Why are you even bothering?

[BibiBlocksberg]

How I wish I'd heeded the advice of 'sex and tomatoes being the building blocks for a relationship' !

I was exactly your age when I met my version of the tightfisted user/loser - don't really dwell on regrets but if I had my time again I would not be wasting that prime time of my life on someone like that again OP.

[izzyisin]

I thought it was - you can't say you weren't warned, can you?

He surely doesn't need to buy loo rolls in bulk - given his consumption of eggs, I wouldn't have thought he gets through much more than 2 rolls a year.

Is the tenancy in your name?

[pepperrabbit]

I think you've probably reached the point where you know it's not going to work, he'll just start to annoy you more and more about this.
Have it clear in your mind what you want to happen when you start having "the conversation" with him. He'll try to make it all about you... but not in a good way!
You can, and will, do better than this

[cutteduppear]

I was having a terribly unhappy relationship when I was your age. If I could have my time again the one thing I'd do would be to move on quickly with no regrets.

I think that's what a lot of people are saying to you here - the benefit of our oldie wisdom makes us tell you to kick him out.

Any difficulties with asking him to leave? Can you go away for the weekend and ask him to have moved out by the time you get back?

[KatieScarlett2833]

How about "Tom, it's not me, it's YOU?"

or

"Tom, I need to be with someone, anyone in fact, who IS NOT YOU?

[MrsJoeDuffy]

on a side note... NEW MARIAN KEYES BOOK OUT IN THE AUTUMN peeps! She is coming out of her dreadful depression and writing again. V excited.


... OP, get out chick. You've outgrown the eejit.

[NotTheBlinkingGruffaloAgain]

It's alot to think about when I started this thread (only this evening)
I was hoping people would say oh yes that's normal what you need to do is, x,y or Z
Instead I seem to have unveiled the truth of how I'm feeling and it's a lot.
Im barely scraping by with all my work/ college commitments and impeding uni interviews a break up would rock the boat and may stop me in my tracks.
But I need to stop being numb to how I feel, when we met I was really fit, vibrant, plenty of friends now I'm in a small village, on my own with a guy who doesn't see us as a team and though healthy in terms of what I eat his manic attitude to the gym has put me off the gym for life!
How can I be in one place when I start the thread and not wanting to go up t bed by the end? So difficult.
But thansk everyone if I choose sex and tomatoes Ill be sure to pop back and thank you all dearly!

[BibiBlocksberg]

izzy - I'm going to have to get a fresh one of my beloved tena lady pads in a minute - belly laugh @ no more than two bog rolls a year needed for him and his 40 eggs

Sorry OP, not a laughing matter for you right now but I'm convinced you'll be able to dine out on stories from this relationship for years once you free yourself from 'egg man'

[KatieScarlett2833]

Good luck Gruffy

You're a good-un

He is not.

[RandomMess]

Can you turn it into a house share, or have you only got one bedroom?

[tribpot]

Btw for Marian fans a note from herself. Gruff, I don't think a breakup would wreck your head as much as you think it might. You may find it incredibly liberating.

[cutteduppear]

I agree with tribpot. I think a break up might find you full of energy and focus for your course work, with new hope for the future!

[madonnawhore]

How can I be in one place when I start the thread and not wanting to go up t bed by the end? So difficult.

Because the symptom was the unequal division of food buying. But the cause is that he's a selfish, cocklodging twat.

Sometimes it takes a while to get to the diagnosis.

[overmydeadbody]

Blinking breaking up with this man will not make your life harder, it will make your life easier. You will be able to cnocentrate on your studies, work, university interviews, seeing your friends, having food in the fridge when you get home, and not have to share your bed with some miserable manchild who snores.


You will be liberated. It will feel amazing.

[KatieScarlett2833]

I think I love Marion even more

She hates Thatcher and has written a book about Helen.

I have been prayng for a book about Helen since I read my first Marian.

Marion, I love you even more than I did 5 mins ago.

[izzyisin]

The Egg Man Cometh - or not tonight in this particular case

Apologies OP but as Bibi's said, you'll be looking back in anger at your own stupidity for lumbering yourself with him and laughing at this one day and his peculiarities foibiles are ones that will amuse more than a few dinner tables.

Look at it this way; getting rid of this millstone round your neck is more than likely to float your boat and your renewed energy will propel you down the track that's ahead of you at the speed of light.

Paul Newman said 'Why go out for hamburger when you can have steak at home?'. In your case, I would suggest that you go out for sex and tomatoes and leave Mr Steak'n' Eggs at home.

[ChasTittyBeltUp]

tribpot lovely link! She looks bloody lovely doesnt she? What is it about the Irish accent that makes me so comfy? Is it the same for others?

[MrsJoeDuffy]

I just adore Marian Keyes. I've been reading Ciara Geraghty to fill the Marion shaped hole in my life. CG's books had me howling laughing and crying at the same time.

[poppercondria]

You are a sex-starved, food-loving, hard-working, ambitious, sensible, and very YOUNG woman. Dump him. There will be a man on your doorstep with flowers, expensive choccies and proper quilted tp by the end of the week.

[MinnieBar]

HOW lovely is Marian Keyes??! I love her books even though the last one wasn't quite as good IMHO and had wondered where she'd been. She was hilarious when she used to go on It Takes Two

[AttilaTheMeerkat]

So what are you getting out of this relationship exactly?. You're still there and he is unlikely to go either willingly or quietly. I think you have been in denial regarding the overall state of your non relationship.

He is NOT your project to rescue and or save; you cannot save a manchild and they do not change. He will continue to bleed you dry and dodge all responsibility.

[jalopy]

45? It's unlikely he'll change.