The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start, The Journey So Far.........

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome. There are all kinds of lovely Babes on board this Bus, drinkers, non-drinkers, part-time drinkers and those who have no idea what they are when it comes to drinking. Some are newer posters and some have been here forever for a little while.

Come and say hi, there are no rules, no 'must haves', just plenty of open and honest support.

You can talk about whatever you like. Your life, your love or even your laundry. We've seen it all!

The important thing is that you can post if you want to, or not if you don't. There are posters in AA and posters who are using medication to beat The Booze and of course posters who are just trying to cut their drinking down with the support of The Bus and the people around them.

See where we've been so far by following this ---> LINK TO PREVIOUS THREADS HERE

Sorry you're feeling bad blossom - relationship worries are such a PITA aren't they ? So difficult to know what to do for the best.

blossom - this is quite serious, you cannot drink that amount of spirits everyday! this is making/will make you ill, maybe not right now but long term! however hard it is, i think you need to get some rl support, maybe AA? go and speak to the doc, a good friend? anything really! maybe even womens aid? you cannot carry on like this! - please dont think im being harsh, i know its so terribly hard when you are in a destructive relationship, but honestly, this is doing neither of you any good!

Trinity I know this thread can be difficult to follow, but just use it as you need to. Post whenever it helps you. And keep on looking forward.

Venus loving the wildly optimistic thingy! Ma it's only a little bit, could just be water retention?????

Oooh blossom you are indeed in a bad place. Co-dependency is really hazardous. Is he drinking the other half of the Bourbon? Do you share it or just drink independently? Do you drink on your arguments or do you start off by drinking like pals? What happens when you say you don't want to drink? If you don't want to answer I understand, but somehow you know that you need to break the cycle.

Think you both need to seek help asap. You really have to go first and force the issue, it really is a dangerous place at the moment.

Well done Fuzzy, sorry you are hungover Trinity, it's that bloody panda's fault!

Blossom for you. you sound as though you are in a really tough place, and your dp must feel as though he is on the brink of losing his playmate, and that must be scary for both of you.

But beating this can hard at the best of times, and with stoing support from a partner. If your dp is actively making it difficult for you then maybe you do need to be apart from him, even if it is only for a while. Once you have found 'yourself' again, you may have the will and the energy to re-engage. But I think that you do have to be selfish in the short term. You can't change your dp's drinking habits, but in the right environment and with the right support you can change your own habits.

I can't remember whether you have dc? Is there somewhere you could go - family, friends, a short-term rent on a bedsit? Anywhere where you can be away from your destructive environment for a little while.

But even then Blossom you are going to need to be tough. Your dp may be making things very difficult for you, buying alcohol when you have asked him not to, drinking in front of you, taunting you or teasing you with a glass of your favourite, but those temptations are all over the place. Adverts on TV, aisles of booze in the supermarket, friends who unknowlingly drop by with a bottle of wine. So JWN is absoloutely right, whatever you decide to do you need some real life support. Take a little tiny step towards that today - speak to someone, call your gp, text a friend. Anything that moves you forward.

should have read strong support from a partner

Sorry I want to clear I do not drink 1/2 everynight, though have done so which in itself is terrible. I do manage to go days with a drink and feel so proud of myself but he is not helping. I am getting better at just ignoring the thrust glass of wine in my face ( not literally) but you guys know it is hard enough with added temptation.
sarahRT in answer to your questions no he does not drink bourbon now, in better times we would enjoy sitting and talking all night but things have fallen apart. He had a mental breakdown last year, went on a complete bender tried to kill himself. Trouble is he is acting strangely again and I just don't want to bogged down with all this again. I am beginning to see a pattern and it is scarey, I have a feeling he is drinking in secret again. Sorry if I sound like I am rambling

Venus, thank you it all makes sense, Yes I do have DC, only 1 @ home now. I felt very ashamed the otherday when his little freind came over and stayed and wanted to know if my measurer was an egg cup, no pipes up my DS "she uses it to measure whisky, they are just achoholics" .

blossom you really have to try and brace yourself and get to the GP, or as Venus says, distance you and ds somehow. It sounds like dp is very needy, but you are just not strong enough to cope with all this. Sometimes it is far braver to surrender to it and let the medical experts help. They presumably know about his problems, but maybe don't know how desperate you are now. They will be supportive, and should in no way judge you. Please go sweetheart. xx

Yes sarahRT GP knows all about him, they actually really helped last time and referred him to the MHT. He is needy and likes to blame others for his problems but that is another story, You are right about the distancing bit, I am really going to work on it. Thanks for your comments, it helps to talk and not be judged on this bus.

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

A very quick post - Ma!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!! I can't tell you just how much it means that you are doing the netwalk for BHF. They so desperately need the support. Last year, Birmingham Children's Hospital had to find £2million for the cardiac unit.

They managed to do it that time but it was close! BHF helps everyone, babies and the elderly. They often get overlooked, as do many other wonderful charities, so to know that one of our very own Brave Babes is doing her bit for them makes my heart smile.

Ma you are ace xxxxx

So, Friday evening. What is everyone doing to keep themsleves busy, or to relax? I'm off to the cinema with my dp and a big bag of malteasers. Happy times.

i am cooking roasted butternut squash with couscous and grilled chicken breast marinated in piripiri sauce - i have been inspired to cook after having lunch with my sil who showed me her new kitchen OMFG!!! it is fantastic and i am its a nicholas anthony with all the bells and whistles, she has the lot, its so sleek and clean and efficent and shiny and swish and posh and expensive, mine looks very shabby (mind you, it is supposed too! )

back later babes, remember, if you dont have the first drink you dont have to agonise about the second!

Not drinking want to though, not really sure why

its habit! thats all! tell it to fuck the fuck off and find yourself something more interesting to do!

mouse I was down to do the shorter 7K walk but I ended up doing the longer 13K one . that's 8 miles in old money. My legs are bloody killing me.
I think we raised about £1000 so am pleased to have done my bit for nemo's tough little heart and for your huge, brave one.
Trinity hang in there, you are doing well

Well friday night is here and not drinking, how the fuck did that happen

Blossom i hear you xx

Instead dd1 and I started her 550 piece Simpsons jigsaw. Fuck it is harder than I thought!!!!!

Ahoy hoy all babes, old and new, abstaining and drinking. Hello hello to all you lovely lot. If have read every word of this thread since my last post weeks ago but haven't had anything of interest to say, really. But I have been thinking more about this whole drinking/not drinking thing and just reading the huge range of experiences on here makes me feel as though I am getting a better grip. I actually feel very optimistic (and realise that a lot of this is to do with a lot less alcohol in my system therefore less depression) and I just wanted to thank you ALL for that and to mark my place on the thread and the bus itself.

Btw am not drinking tonight which I reckon is the first Friday night I have not had an alcoholic drink since November 2008!

Trinity - I love a jigsaw puzzle, me. So much so that I once started a whole thread about them! .

I do hope Cristiane is alright?

Morning all, I've been up since 7.30 waiting for the dreaded Tesco to deliver between 8 and 10 and I'm still waiting!!

Jesus yet again I did what you said, DH bought wine a drank it but I had a cup of tea and went to bed at 10pm - fuck you habit.

Trinity we have that Simpsons puzzle, great way to waste away the witching hours, I got the lego out the other evening, DC were very pleased to wake up to a Lego creations house

I'm off to Ikea as soon as Twat Tesco arrive - flat pack hell here I come!!!!

Morning all.

I hope everyone is okay?

I'm feeling fed up because my DH got absolutely stinking drunk again last night. I can't watch him destroy himself, and am considering leaving. As I've said before, he's not an abusive drunk by any means. Just boring, loud, clumsy and a nightmare to share a bed with. I went out with a friend and came back to find him in a state. He nearly always does this when I go out for an evening, and I dread what I'll find. I didn't have to sleep on the sofa last night like last time, but it was still horrendous.

I've had a few nights drinking this week, but have not been 'drinking to forget' IYSWIM. After this weekend I've set myself a target of dropping 3 dress sizes before uni starts in September, which is achievable if I greatly reduce my drinking, exercise and eat better. I know I can do it. Whatever happens with my marriage I want to be in a strong position physically and mentally for the new (and exciting) challenge.

It's a bloody hard jigsaw
It double sided but both sides have the same border or block yellow and then red with white ish outline clouds!!! Trying to work out which side you're supposed to be using was hard. Three hours and we finally got the outside finshed and about an eighth of the middle

Bloody well done ma! What an achievement . I will pop into BHF charity shop today and make a donation in your honour. How are your legs and feet today? A bit stiff I imagine. Oh, and I think you've probably shifted that 1.5lb now .

I'm thinking of buying a stepometer and aiming for at a least 10,000 a day. I know I do them easily at work, but I can be a lazy arse at weekends sometimes .

Well done everyone on using the avoidance strategies. I did a regular Simpsons puzzle and that was difficult enough for me.

Onesunny it sounds like your dh enjoys you going out so he can get on with his drinking in peace. Unfortunately I know how he feels because I used to love having the house to myself so that I didn't have to hide or disguise how quickly I was getting through it. It's the warped thinking of an alcoholic/problem drinker.

All you can do is put yourself first for now, do what you need to do to get your own drinking under control. Personally, I would not have been able to do it if dh drank like that. In fact, we hardly ever even have alcohol in the house now.

Whatever you decide to do, we will support you x

Ma have just gone back up thread and read about your walk - congratulations! What an achievement.

Morning Trinity.

Thanks Faire. We've had a chat (he's up) and he's said he'll go to the doctor. I'm not making any decisions today, but he knows that I'm serious.

Waves at all the other Babes. Hope you have a good day xxx

Just a quick one. Why are weekends so busy? Busy in a good, hangover-free way so i ain't complaining really

Ma, you star! Well done, you must feel fab :-) And great thinking, Faire, I shall do the same.

Blossom, OneSunny, stay strong and put yourself and your sobriety first for a while.

Hope everyone's OK. Have good days y'all