The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start, The Journey So Far.........

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome. There are all kinds of lovely Babes on board this Bus, drinkers, non-drinkers, part-time drinkers and those who have no idea what they are when it comes to drinking. Some are newer posters and some have been here forever for a little while.

Come and say hi, there are no rules, no 'must haves', just plenty of open and honest support.

You can talk about whatever you like. Your life, your love or even your laundry. We've seen it all!

The important thing is that you can post if you want to, or not if you don't. There are posters in AA and posters who are using medication to beat The Booze and of course posters who are just trying to cut their drinking down with the support of The Bus and the people around them.

See where we've been so far by following this ---> LINK TO PREVIOUS THREADS HERE

I know this is a public forum.
Ive had a drink, a 'pre-rugby' drink

I'm doomed to sail aren't I?

FAIL... Not bloody sail Pft

Go sailing instead, Trinity ?

I don't think so Trinity, I see that you keep on coming back and trying again, so there must be something in you that wants this very strongly. I think that you will get there - each tme you 'fall off' you've learnt something else.

Now it's middle of Saturday afternoon. You've got a choice. You can carry on drinking all afternoon, end up feeling crap and drunk, not eat properly tonight, maybe row with dp, and then wake up tomorrow feeling really crap, and feeling like you've failed.

Or you can enjoy the drink you've had. Switch to drinking tea or juice for the rest of the evening, go to bed feeling happy, and wake up tomorrow feeling bright.

I know which one I'd choose. Not because I'm any better than you, or because I was a worse alcoholic, or because I'm older, but because when I see the options written down like that choosing to drink juice is what I WANT to do.

thanks venus, you are so kind to me

I didn't have any more to drink

I made some chilli con carne and then had a nap

just got up but dp has had a few with the rugby

I cant be sure I wont have a drink later

Quick post - sorry not read last weeks posts yet. I feel tired and a bit sad and a bit sick of things. I don't like drinking anymore but I feel such a compulsion to glug that wine.

I just feel so tired and weak. Sorry for me me. Hope everyone else doing better x

Hello again. OK (Deep Breath) I am going to try to be as honest as I can. (probably admitting things I have covered up for years).

As I said, I think I am a functioning alcoholic. I drink a bottle of wine most days. Sometimes I don't drink (if I am going out and have to drive), and sometimes, if I am upset, I will drink 2 bottles of wine.

Now why do I drink? I have always 'liked a drink' - so did my husband, but it's always been a social thing. I have been a single parent for 17 years (kids 5-15 when I became a single parent) and I managed to keep it together (drinking-wise) mostly whilst the children where living at home. But now they are gone, and I live alone, I just seem to drink more and more, I suppose because because I don't see the point of not drinking. Yes, I am lonely (but I have good friends). I actually know that my drinking is holding me back from doing all sorts of stuff which would make me happier........................... so why on earth do I do it?????????????

Please, please Battle Bus Babes - help me to live a much more useful life. I have read that most people's trigger is 5.00-6.00 pm 'home from work - relax time' and it's certainly my trigger - well actually for me it's 'walk throught the door, open the bottle of wine you've just bought from Sainburys.

HELP!!!

Oh Homealone well done,I say this as someone who let it all out a couple of weeks ago so I am a total newbie babe but I went to my gp this week,took a deep breath and said all this to her.Telling and admitting this stuff to anyone in rl or on here is a very big step and a very imporatant one.

I have no idea how this will pan out for me but it has started me on a journey of searching my soul as to why I drink like I do,I have started a journal so I can look back.

My trigger time is between 4pm and 7pm,I managed 5 days last week alcohol free and it crucified me but I did it,downside was that I wanted a drink at 10am as well.I am lonely despite having friends and I realised the other day that I have started to plan things around making sure I can still have a drink after or getting nervous if I know I am going somewhere that alcohol is not available You are not alone

Guess what I am saying is you will get there as you have let out your demons (well some of them anyway) and with the support of all these great babes on here you will get there,we all will :o

Homealone you are at a new chapter in your life. A new start. You can change everything if you want to. It sounds to me as if you are drinking partly out of habit and partly out of boredom? What do you really want to do with your life? Do you fancy a new hobby or retrain for a different career?

When JWN started this thread, she grabbed life with both hands and ran with it. Every day there were things that needed to be done and people to meet. It started with AA. Having those meetings to go to and the rl support helped to keep her on track whilst she ditched the booze and got on with living the high life. If you read right from the start of this ongoing thread you can follow her story. It was the inspiration for the rest of us.

Lots of us need to keep busy to avoid drinking and in doing so we have found all sorts of new things to do. Or gone back to old favourites. Houses have been scrubbed from top to bottom, redecorated, remodelled. We have taken up sports, country walks, shopping, surfing (the web) and tons of other stuff.

You are going to love not drinking and getting out there. Just do it one day at a time .

Thank you so much Quiet. Ditto to all you said i also plan stuff around my drinking. - which is why I would describe myself as a 'functioning' acoholic. As in I can manage not to drink (going to work, driving my kids wherever, going to a friends for dinner)

But it's the hangovers (which I cover up wonderfully) which keep me down. I know I am capable of sooooo much more......

homealone you sound a lot like me. I still haven't got my drinking down to an acceptable level and I don't know if I ever will. But I keep trying. Like trinity's earlier post I often feel like a failure. Just got to keep trying I suppose...
legs a bit achy after yesterday but not too bad. I've probably undone all the good calorie-burning stuff by making and eating a sticky marmalade cake...yummy. It's in this month's Good Food magazine.
Bought DS new school shoes today. have gone down the cheaper route before but it was a false economy, so bought a "proper" pair - £45 !! faints

Ma - thank you so very much, your walk means so much to me. I know that the money is going to BHF and that's a huge charity but you said that you walked 'for Nemo' and knowing that melts my heart.

Thank you xx

I'm sorry Babes that I've been absent of late, all is good here, just getting things sorted in RL.... still lurking on the back of the Bus.

Hello to new posters, and to the oldies too! Welcome if this is your first journey with us, take a seat and grab a cuppa

I'm off to put Nemo to bed and snuggle with him later on. He is so cute atm, really getting developing his personality, he is just so gorgeous. I know I'm biased, I really do but he just makes me laugh, he 'gets' humour!

Anyway, enough gushing from me! Sorry.

Can I add before I go, to those who are utterly sick and tired of pouring their sobriety into a glass each night, maybe it's time to get tougher with that demon drink?

Maybe it's time to start really caring about yourself and start to really think about why you drink, what it gives you that makes it so worth while.

I know that we do this time and again, there are a few of us here whoa re regular drinkers, myself included.

I'm not going to name names but how about we all 'hold hands' and stand shoulder to shoulder? I think if we all support one another, get ourselves a 'sober buddy', cutting down or stopping would be so much easier, especially if as that duo you are posting regularly?

ATM, I'm cutting down and trying to have at least 2 booze free days. Last night I had two glasses of red (125mls) and a Baileys then bed. I didn't want anymore.

Tonight I've had two bottles of cider at 4%. I may have a glass of red, I may not. I'll worry about it when my cider has gone. I don't need the wine, and at the moment, I don't want it.....

Time will tell.

Night Babes xxxxxx

mouse you are very welcome, I hope the little fella has a good night
indie glad you are ok. enjoy your curry and relax,
I am wary of having a sober buddy because I know think I will let them down. Just now I only let myself down.

Oh Ma, it was only a thought, I'd hate for you to think there was any pressure my lovely friend

I know that one day, when life is much better for you, when you no longer have that chain around your neck, the weight on your mind...... once Your Day comes, you'll no longer need that crutch.

I believe in you Ma and I hope that I'm right, I hope that one day, you'll enjoy a glass of wine instead of feeling that you need it to numb your pain, cloud your thoughts, sleep and well, need a drink to forget the shit you deal with. The loneliness, the regret if you have any......

I heart you Ma, and one day, you'll heart you too xxxxx

Night all xxxx

(Again )

Isindebetterplace thank heavens.

Quite right Mouse, that is exactly what my network up North do. There are many definitions of an alcoholic/problem drinker, but the bottom line is that if you are uncomfortable with the amount that you drink, then you have a problem. It is a me, me, me, situation. Once my girls have been sober for 18 months and if they have no pressing family matters, they help with newly sober women who are struggling with real life without the armour of alcohol. Two way street, they are nurturing, and also keeping themselves clean whilst helping others. It works well, and like the Gainsborough Foundation we are hooking up with our local GP surgeries to assist in care after detox.

Anyway I hope some babes take you up on this advice.

Hellooo babes,

I haven't forgotten you all, have just been lurking busy with my house.

Sober cheers to you all XX

Im having another drink

so two large vodka and cokes today

but dp did offer to go and buy me wine this afternoon and I said no thanks

and then when I took gecko to a party I didn't get any myself

I know I know

not great but better

dd1 and I have done more jigsaw, I would say two thirds done now

going to bed soon, no hangover in the morning

Good for you, Trinity !

Sleep well

Well done Trinity!! Look for the positives, and a couple of drinks but no outrageous behaviour and no hangover is a huge positive..... Nice one!

Same for you Mouse, got to love that 'normal' drinking.....

Shall I tell you something funny? I am a 'normal drinker' but I've had more alcohol than all of you tonight...... Because I: want to/I can/I know I may feel a bit delicate in the morning/I know I wont drink til next weekend. Us normal drinkers drink too

Pom poms waving as ever

p.s. hope I'm not being inappropriate x

yes, yes, good for you trinity. I think the hardest thing ever was stopping after one drink. So maybe you're not as addicted as I was - and there is a good thought

Horses no you are not being appropriate. Funnily enough, I was just thinking this evening that if it weren't for dh I would not know what normal drinking was. It's good to have that reminder so that those of us who want to drink can 'take a measure' and those of us who cannot drink in moderation at all can be reminded that this is not 'normal' iyswim.

In the last 7 weeks I have had 4 glasses of wine. This has been through conscious decision and determined effort. If I don't give myself a reason to not drink, then I will drink. To excess. I think this will always be with me. But the good news is that I know I can control it and that I am not constantly plagued with cravings. I will continue the experiment for now and stick to occasional drinking.

Mouse, Trinity and anyone else who had two or three drinks then stopped, well done. It shows that you can control it and all you need to do is practise. I would definately recommend two alcohol free nights if possible. I watched that panorama programme and it said 4-8 bottles of wine a week is liver damaging. That's where I was last summer, more or less. About a bottle a night at my worst. Who knows where I would be now if I hadn't found you lovely lot.

MsGee why not come back and chat to us a bit more. What's going on with you and LittleMsGee these days. Let's see if we can cheer you up a bit.

Boss you out there? It would be lovely to have a little catch up with anyone who hasn't posted for a while x

Now, I'm going to post something contraversial.

I think the whole "functional alcoholic" is a load of BOLLOCKS.

I spent years convincing myself that that is what I was. Someone who drank too much but who could still carry on in a 'normal life'. If you imagine it like a slope - from 'a small sherry at Christmas' at the top, down to 'homeless, wasted and destitute' near the bottom, I imagine that I had some magical power that would hold me in the middle of that slippery slope because I was the mythical creature that was a 'functional alcoholic'. Well now I think I was just deluding myself - in many ways. With each passing week and month I was 'functioning' less and less well; with each passing week and month I was increasing my delusion that I was 'OK really'; every day in life I could find people who drank more than I did (and therefore convince myself that I was OK).

I now think that I used the term 'functional alcoholic' because it reassured me I was OK, when in reality I was an plain ordinary alcoholic, who was (by the skin of my teeth) still managing to function in most areas of my life.

OK. So now I'm going to challenge myself and others when we use that term. About what it really means, and whether functining on part capacity is really functioning at all. Just because no one has found you out doesn't mean you haven't done the deed.

I've just done the math. If I was drinking a bottle a night for seven weeks, I would have drunk 49 bottles of wine by now. Instead I have had four glasses, which is one bottle.

One bottle instead of 49 .

I shall be expecting a thankyou letter from my liver on in Monday's post .

And how much money have I saved? 48 x £5 = £240

Even if I bought cheap(er) wine I must have saved £200

Venus I have to say I thought I was functioning every day I went to work with a stonking hangover. Now I seem to be able to achieve a lot more during those same hours. And I wonder how many functioning alcoholics never took a 'sick' day off work due to a hangover. Not many, I bet. I had two last year.

I thought I was being responsible teaching my children that I don't drink and drive so I couldn't take them anywhere but actually they just learned they couldn't get a lift after 6pm, or lunchtime if it was weekends.

There are lots of examples that I can see really clearly now, where I wasn't functioning. Unless by functioning you mean existing.

It's lovely now, not being burdened with guilt or dragged down by a hangover .