The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start, The Journey So Far.........

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome. There are all kinds of lovely Babes on board this Bus, drinkers, non-drinkers, part-time drinkers and those who have no idea what they are when it comes to drinking. Some are newer posters and some have been here forever for a little while.

Come and say hi, there are no rules, no 'must haves', just plenty of open and honest support.

You can talk about whatever you like. Your life, your love or even your laundry. We've seen it all!

The important thing is that you can post if you want to, or not if you don't. There are posters in AA and posters who are using medication to beat The Booze and of course posters who are just trying to cut their drinking down with the support of The Bus and the people around them.

See where we've been so far by following this ---> LINK TO PREVIOUS THREADS HERE

Saf your observations struck a chord with me. This is the longest I have not drunk alcohol in 15 years. And you are so right, choosing not to drink is far less stressful and so much
easier. I NEVER thought I would enjoy abstaining but I am actually starting to.

Hope all you other babes have had an enjoyable sunday

Thurso sounds like you have had a very eventful day!

Well off to bed for me. I have a hot date at the job centre tomorrow.

NIGHT lovely babes x

thurso that is so lovely, I do hope his hopes and dreams work out.
Night night babes it sounds like every one had a good weekend, gird your loins for the week ahead!

Yep, I'm off to bed too. Tomorrow will be the start of my fourth week without a drink. I can't quite believe it. Something that seemed so insurmountable, impossible, too difficult to even contemplate, has been an absolute pleasure. Every single morning that I wake up with a clear head and sense of achievement has me walking on air. I really am starting to think I can do this. I am doing this .

Long may it last. One day at a time babes x

P.S. Hose asked me out on a date this evening . He suggested the cinema. I said it would be lovely but we might have to save up for the pre-movie drink, cinema ticket, meal afterwards, taxi home, etc.

He said "Er, no, I was thinking, just the cinema" . Really knows how to treat a gal does my dh .

Good morning. Well I had a few drinks Saturday night. Am a bit disappointed but I knew what I was doing. First opportunity for a night out for me and DH in many months and so we went to the pub. I even started with a soft drink, but then succumbed. Oh well, did not drink last night and no plans to at home still.
There is a night out planned for Friday though with good friends I want to see. I will have to see if there's a way I can drive or something as that is less than a week away and I'm out the weekend after too. I worry that drinking once a week for a while will make me v vulnerable to starting up again at home.

Morning all,

A pretty sleepless night for me! Dh dead to the world all night and snoring!

I've decided to take a deep breath and a step away fom my thoughts, if I can manage it for a small while!

I read "Eat, Pray, Love" last week (I'm behind the times!), and the "Pray" section was brilliant I thought, and so I'm trying to take a leaf out of that book.

Have good Mondays everyone. xxxxx

morning everyone
hope a good week will be had by all
today i will definitely not be drinking

Oh Thurso that is exciting news, and lovely that he wants to confide in you. I suppose in some ways it is exactly what you might want - that your dc has found someone to love and is loved in return; that they want to take their relationship to the next step by moving in together; and that they are are doing so in the context of planning a long-term committment to each other.

I know with my dd I worried desperately about her getting hurt, but (assuming it is a good and equal relationship) you have raised someone who is secure enough in hs own self to make this move and to be vulnerable . Well done you.

In terms of getting married - does his gf feel under pressure to be planning this kind of committment before they move in together - I am surprised by how many parents still put pressure on their dds to 'at least be engaged' ? My personal opinion is that moving in together can be a big step and can raise all sorts of interesting issues from attitudes to money, tidiness, having friends over, etc, all of which need to be worked through properly. The whole 'planning' of a wedding can be both a distraction from resolving things, and also an additional stress, and I did encourage my dd to establish her relationship firmly before she got involved in planning a wedding.

Don't know if that makes sense?

Hope all have a good day. It's chilly here (as I found out when I went out in my dressing gown to feed the birds).

We have a little light snow here .

Well, I had a feeling it was going to be 'one of those days' when my fridge defrosted overnight and I was faced with a puddle of water this morning. Then the car didn't start and I had to pay £60 odd quid for an upgrade for RAC to come to my house. Now the telly seems to be on the blink! Hey Ho. At least I'm sat in the warm, not shivering by the roadside .

Venus good point. I lived with Hose for seven years before we married. Just to make sure, y'know.

Hope they turn up soon, I should be at work by now .

Morning, tis me, Mouse

Well, last week I weighed in at 11st 6lbs and was absolutely ed at just how much weight I can put on when my body shuts down it's waste removal function.

After a week of cutting down on cheese, dairy, upping the roughage and increasing my water with added lemon, I now weigh 11st on the button.

Thurso - HERE is the last thread. xx taking a step back from all things DH sounds like a plan to me. I've yet to read that book but it's on my list.

Great news about DS , is it time to but that hat?

Hippo - we've all been there, it's how you feel about it that counts. You felt regret. Brilliant. That's the kind of feeling we all wish we could bottle and open whenever we're tempted to pick up. Worry about your nights out when they happen. You'll talk yourself into knots before then.

venus - that breakfast sounds really nice but not for me, it's far too much for this little mouse to face.

I can do bacon, sausages, eggs, the lot or nothing. I had wholemeal toast this morning, chewed and chewed so that it was nearly liquid. And now I'm on water with lemon in.

Faire - your hair sounds really nice.

We're off out after lunch for a playdate, Nemo and my friend's DD who is 18mth. She's at a perfect age for Nemo even though he's almost 3 as she plays with him, or next to him rather than wanting to wrestle, or play fighting games, chase, and tag that her older brother does.

Then food shopping so I am scanning lists of alkaline foods to make sure I stock up and then my very first Zumba at 7pm. Really looking forward to the Zumba. What do you where though? I was going to where my gym kit, jogging bottoms and a t-shirt?

I think joggers and t shirt will be find Mouse. Take loads of water and maybe a towel, it can be quite a workout! Nemo's little friend sounds lovely . It is amazing how much weight we can hang on to for reasons other than just diet. Time of the month affects it too, especially when it's really erratic like me! I'm all over the place sometimes. Ah well.

Lovely RAC man has just left. He fixed my car. It was dh's fault (usually is in this house). He moved it back about a metre to open the garage then turned the engine off. Apparently, if you do that when the engine is cold, it floods with petrol and then won't start. You have to turn the petrol fuse off & start the car using the petrol that's in the tubes, then you turn the fuse back on and, hey presto, engine starts ok. Just thought I would share that in case it happens to you, cos it cost me £60 to find that out! But he's a very nice man. And now I can go to work. Yay .

morning!! just a quick in and out (as the actress said! )

thurso, try not to worry too much about him, just remember that you have bought up a son who has the capacity to love deeply and truely, who wants to care for another human being - cant be much wrong in that can there? i dont envy your position as the merely the grooms mother though, as the bride mother i get to call soooo many more shots! i suggest you make friends with the in laws so mil dosnet foist the 'lilac' on to you!

Stopped drinking today. Can i jump on this thread for support, when i suceed i will be in the position to help others but for now can i ask for help? I feel ill i feel like the drink is going to kill me if i don't stop. I don't drink a lot but it just feels inevitable that will change. I stopped for 4 years and it was best times of my life, i want to be back there so badly.

Hey Fuzzy - well done on stopping and welcome tot he Bus.

Can I ask you a few things? Feel free to ignore.

How much do you drink each day/night? How did you stop the last time and why do you want to stop NOW?

I mean why today? New week?

What do you need from us, how can we help you to get where you want to be? x

big news thurso. have you met her?

mouse - joggers and t-shirt fine but zumba is very high impact. are you sure it's a good idea? sorry to be a nag but it's a lot of grinding and hip action and it is supposedly one of the most aerobic workouts you can do. please be careful. oh and yay for the weight loss.

welcome on board fuzzy.

interesting morning faire! and an expensive one.

day 3 here. maybe just a teeny bit of boing which i've channeled into properly cleaning the kitchen including the floor - hateful job but it's done. next up bathroom. going to try and fit a second walk in before picking ds up from school. think my fitness levels have slumped a bit since lots of ds off school ill time and not getting out for my usual long walks.

Ok this may be a bit long!
I started drinking at age 11 and quickly got into binge drinking. It was when i was 16 i started drinking wine by myself, i think i knew then it was a problem. I drank very heavily, so much so i actually cannot remember my teenage years. I would drink moderately in the week and then I used to wait for the weekends/holidays where i would go on a bender. One easter i was planning out my thurs-mon bender. I got to the saturday morning and just couldn't carry on. I phoned my mum, she came to the house and was horrified at the state, she asked if i had a party, I told her no just me. She took me to AA and i stopped there and then for 4 years.

In the summer i started having the odd glass of wine, on hols i got smashed and it started from there. Mostly weekends but then i got to christmas and got pissed every night for 2 weeks I wanted to stop on new years day but every week i get to friday and cave so here i am again on a monday morning!

I am now drinking 1 bottle of wine per night, stopping and starting each week. I am now at the stage where one is not enough but instead of just having say 1 or 2 glasses more i finish a second bottle.

I have made the decision to stop today because i cannot stand how much of a terrible mother it makes me, i am disgusted at myself. I only drink after bedtime but its not ok.

I just feel like i need to chat to people who know how it feels to not want to drink but you do it anyway coz you feel you need it.

How do you get over the empiness, the lonliness. i cannot remember it being hard the last time, i have forgotton i think?
sorry for long post and thanks for reply x

or maybe your life is different now fuzzy and so you feel lonely and empty and that's why you were drinking again and what you're feeling again now when you stop.

have you got any support around? friends, family?

Yeah good point I been feeling pretty shitty over past few months. Not sure what to do, am on anti-d's and except the drinking take really good care of myself. I KNOW that stopping will help to feel better after i get through the first bit. Wish i could magic myself to that point!

Saf - I PROMISE THAT I'LL BE CAREFUL. And I will go at my pace. I'm only going to do the bits that I can and just move to the rest. I'm not going to follow a certain workout, just to see how it is.

Please stop worrying about me lovely, I will be careful xxxxxx

Fuzzy - Stay here and talk as much as you want to, there are so many varied posters on the Bus, we all have the same thing in common though, we all have some sort of abusive relationship with alcohol.

I dont want to admit to people i started again so really want to do it without them, it means less support but i will go to AA tonight

Welcome Fuzzy .

Wow you did so well to stop for 4 years!! Fantastic. So you know you can do it...

Day 1 is so hard. I found the first few days really hard actually. But now I don't even think about having a drink most night's (and I haven't drunk anything for 29 days - approximately - so I'm not that far ahead of you). I feel about a million times better than I did when I was drinking. Focus on how great it will feel to not be drinking (the lack of guilt is such a relief). Get your mind into stubborn 'I will not have a bloody drink tonight' mode and just take it each day as it comes. You've done it before. You can do it again

Mouse congrats on weight loss!! Wow! Tell us what Zumba's like. Go easy!

Thurs Ahh that's lovely news. I hope my DC find 'the one' early on (therefore avoiding all the upset of Mr/Ms Wrongs). What is she like? Do you like her?

Saf I've been floor mopping today too. Blimey it was grim Have a nice walk.

Faire, what a nice, relaxing start to your week...! Sounds like you're still chirpy and calm though. Well done That would have been a very good excuse for me to get a bottle or two in...

It's such a miserable day here today. Cold, grey and drizzly. I'm going to try and keep busy and productive. PMT is making me feel down and anxious (plus DS was up about 20 times last night, I have no idea what's wrong with him). PMT + lack of sleep = triggertastic. I must not drink. I must not drink. I will not drink

Have good days everyone

Afternoon Babes hope you are all well !

Like Faire, about to embark on fourth week! I'm not sleeping too brill at the moment. Just churning over house and money worries, but it is much easier to cope without a stonking great hangover.

Mouse T shirt and trackies are fine for Zumba, take a drink and a towel. Be prepared to get hot and sweaty. Hope you enjoy yourself! You can always choose to do the leg or the arm movements if you want it to be less impact. I also do aqua Zumba which is very low impact but with all the funky Zumba music.

Hi Fuzzy! nice to have you on board. Well done on making that initial descision, give it a couple of days and you will feel better. Drinking has totally wrecked my life but by stopping I have realised that things can get better. You can only be in control of you are clear headed. Still taking it one day at a time.

SSSM Take a load off missy, you have done fantastically well, you know you can do it. Keep on with being productive.

Take care lovely babes xxxx

thanks everyone :o

Thanks Huey. Like you say things would only be worse with a hangover... Any developments with the tribunal/tenants? Not surprised you're not sleeping too well. We've spent the last few years dealing with various legal stuff. It's horrible isn't it? Always waiting to find out what the other party are going to do. I used to dread opening all the letters and emails etc about it all. Has to be done though. Any luck on the job front?

Speaking of which. Theala, any news re DH's job? Hope all is well

Am knackered and gagging for a coffee to wake me up but I think there's a chance that that could lead to wine later (it'll make me more jittery and uptight, therefore NEEDING - in my head - the tranquilising vino). No thanks...tea it is.

Stick with is SSSM these feelings will pass and you will be so glad tomorrow.

Hello fuzzy and welcome. You need to do whatever works for you, so get to as many meetings as you can, and come back and post here as often as you like. Just talking about your feelings can be helpful, or having a mighty rant and foot stamp instead . We do know what it's like, but all you need to do is get through one day. Will that be today? Stay with us, lovely .