The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start, The Journey So Far.........

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome. There are all kinds of lovely Babes on board this Bus, drinkers, non-drinkers, part-time drinkers and those who have no idea what they are when it comes to drinking. Some are newer posters and some have been here forever for a little while.

Come and say hi, there are no rules, no 'must haves', just plenty of open and honest support.

You can talk about whatever you like. Your life, your love or even your laundry. We've seen it all!

The important thing is that you can post if you want to, or not if you don't. There are posters in AA and posters who are using medication to beat The Booze and of course posters who are just trying to cut their drinking down with the support of The Bus and the people around them.

See where we've been so far by following this ---> LINK TO PREVIOUS THREADS HERE

I know faire. Doc has already had me do an ECG and a 24 hour monitor but the results are not back yet. She said is pains continue to call back and see her
. I'm TRYING to!! Will try the telephone lottery tomorrow and see if I can get an appointment. Week 5 is AWESOME!! Well done you!

Hi Faire and others - hope everyone is having a good evening. Enjoying my sobriety and have just caught up with today's posts - Venus' post about moving towards resonated with me. I did count days, weeks etc that I had not drunk (moving away from), but I am much more motivated to move towards a target and in the early days it was both not drinking today and let's try to get to one month and so on. Now I just think about not drinking today and know how much more I will get out of today and tomorrow.

By the way - there is a poster in health who has been directed to the BB thread - Phoenix 2 - I think. If you are reading hop on the bus.

Morning All!!

Hope all is boingy with you.

All good here, got my motivation back and full of energy. YEH!

(finally got to a meeeting and have busy useful things to be getting on with)

Hi help . Was it you that said you had got stuck on step 3? Sorry, if I've got it mixed up. I don't know the steps but I think it was something to do with 'giving back'. Anyway, whoever it was, I was just thinking that posting on here is giving back and supporting others isn't it. If you're managing to stay sober and can help and advise others with their sobriety, then that's more or less the same thing isn't it?

I've probably got that all wrong but, just a thought .

Have a great day everyone

Hi faire, thank you for asking- I love talking about myself .

The first three steps are admitting that I am poweless over alcohol- definitely; Believing that a higher power can restore me to sanity- no problem, and making a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand him. Again- I agree.

Summed up as I can't, he can, let him. It doesn't have to be beardy God either, the universe or AA or this thread, anything that's not Me.

I managed that in about 2 months, and now 2 years on am stuck on the following step- making a fearless and thorough moral inventory of myself- ie looking at why I drunk, what were my triggers.

What I have done so far has stood me in very good stead so far, and getting on with the following steps will make my sobriety more solid.

You said re your pregnancies,
Mind you, I never drank a drop during both my pregnancies and I'm so glad or I would have blamed myself for her difficult birth. and for me working through the steps and getting to meetings is similar; if things go wrong I'll know I did my very best and that security and the self knowledge I get along the way will stop me blaming myself, (which could lead to a drink).

The giving back is step 12, and yes by getting to meetings and talking to other alcoholics, I'm doing it already- I'll just have more confidence if I fill in the gaps.

But enough about me, what do you think about me how's your cold?

Mornin'.

Well, thank flip, I feel better today. Don't know what that was all about but, boy, am I relieved to feel a bit more in control of my mind today. Will add fast-onset depression to my ever-increasing list of reasons not to drink. And that 'list' of reasons to drink is looking pretty weak at the moment. Good. Fuck off :o

HelpYourself well I think you're doing great :o Whatever you're doing seems to be working so keep on keeping on.

Huey, what's done is done. You did so well, don't focus on the blip. Let's get back into the swing of not-drinking and feeling good about it :)

Faire are you back at work now? I hope you're not looking too healthy :)

JWIM "Now I just think about not drinking today and know how much more I will get out of today and tomorrow." Well put. I might as well write-off tomorrow if I drink today. What a waste. Phoenix 2, are you out there?? Come and say hello :)

Ma, I hope you're feeling good today :)

Mouse, Saf, everybody, hope you're all having good mornings.

help I think it's the fearless inventory that is the challenge. I guess in the past so many of us used a drop of wine to cover up our fears, that now facing these things without wine can feel like a big step.

I also know that I can tell myself a 'story' of what has happened, what motivated me to drink etc. and I can easily gloss over some of the terrible things that I did. But taking a fearless look at all of that is a truly sobering task, requires me to admit that I did things that were not very nice, and not at all funny.

boing!!!

for me, the 'fearless' bit is admitting that i have have actually damaged my child through my drinking , not in a physical way, but i took her peace of mind away and that is a disgracful thing for a mother to do, simply saying sorry just will not cut it, i have to make amends everyday by staying sober and restoring her peace of mind, her peace of mind that im not killing myself slowly, that im not losing my dignity, my mind, my sanity - that may well happen in old age due to illness and that would be difficult enough for her to deal with, but to do it to myself? that would damage her further!

Morning everyone

Sounds like the brave babes are doing well.

I am just tired. My daughters are not sleeping well - illness mainly - and wanting to cuddle. Desperate for some time on my own. Didn't really sit down yesterday at all. Did meditate on the bus though!

Am going to MAKE myself go to gym at lunch as it might wake me up a bit.

Cristiane gym sounds good, or if you can't face it just some fresh air- its beautifully bright in London today.

Lovely and bright here too. Think I should try to give the gym a go it might make me feel more awake. Usually I try to put the tiredness 'in a box', not working so well today. Gym and salad and coffee and I'll be fine.

finally saw a doc who took two minutes to say it was probably stress and he would chase up my hospital test results. Well, glad that's sorted then.
Am glad I didn't drink last night - I look like crap though.
Best text ever from DD! "mum, is there an animal in the cupboard?". Lol
I think some cheeky wee sparrows are nesting in an old outlet pipe and trying to snuggle in a bit further. Cue lots of rustling and scrabbling of small claws.
At least, I hope that's what it is

ma well done on not drinking last night.

sorry for not posting much, struggling to get a foothold on the thread - need to read it all properly.

Feeling ill today (cold, not hangover) but pleased I didn't drink last night. So Day 2. Spent half the day in bed but now trying to work and not panic that I am half a day behind work. Bah.

Twoteens - apologies, I'm a lurker on this board not a regular (though should be!) but didn't want to leave your post unanswered as it sounds like you have had a really bad day. Hard as it is what you need to now is forget about any 'damage' your drinking may have done your dds in the past and focus on how the positive changes you are making NOW will shape their future. I'm been following your progress with admiration so stay strong. If you are tempted to drink today - or have already started - then do the drill. Have a bath, get into your jammies, brush your teeth. It's a bit early for bed but perhaps you could spend some non-stressful time with your dds if that's possible - a dvd or something? Hopefully one of the regs will be along soon with more constructive advice but STAY STRONG - you are doing brilliantly.

hello to all the babes, had a rough weekend but will be back tomorrow to catch up

big hugs to twoteens not much advice but Zippy your advice sounds good!

Cristiane, i hear you! having sleep issues here too x

well done to those who haven't drunk today!

twoteens sounds tough and the sort of thing that drinkers and non drinkers beat themselves up over.

Where are you (very vaguely or via PM)

but I am the adult and should have the capibillites to cope with out the alchol x lots of people don't cope, but you can change all that.

Hi twoteens.

Just a quick one as this is crazy-time in the Silly House...

I have been where you are soooo many times. Tension/arguing/kids being emotional etc are all triggers of mine too, so I feel your pain. But you're here now, posting rather than going out to buy wine, and trying hard not to drink. Not drinking now is all you can do. Yesterday's done. Just focus on not drinking tonight.

I've been reading a little about 'emotional intelligence' recently and it really struck a chord with me. It was actually in a book about how to deal with toddlers but I think it is quite relevant to how some of us react to certain triggers. The book talked about the importance of knowing how to recognise and manage one's emotions, eg to realise when you're sad or upset or angry etc, and to know how to calm yourself or how to pick yourself up, or how to just feel what you're feeling. I realise that I had (I am using a past tense in a very optimistic, positve-thinking type of way :o) very little emotional intelligence. I just numbed everything with alcohol. What a cop-out. Just as my book tells me I need to teach DS to be aware of his emotions, to consider them, and to learn how to soothe himself, I need to learn those skills too . It is hard to learn new coping mechanisms when alcohol has been your way of dealing with things for so long. But you can do it. We all can, we just have to try really hard, and want it badly enough :). Focus on your girls (however annoying they are ) and learn new ways of coping with your triggers, whether it's camomile tea, deep-breathing, exercise or even just swearing in your head (I still have a lot to learn, clearly...).

Don't beat yourself up, just do what you can tonight. Keep posting too.

twoteens if your dds are anything like my dd I am sure they will recover and calm down far more quickly than you . They push and strop and stomp and shout until our patience wears very thin, then all of a sudden it's a smiling face peeking round the door asking what's for dinner!

Here are my tips -

Do not let them shout at you. Say I will listen when you are ready to talk. Do not shout at them. Walk away, do something else.

Remind yourself, it's not you. It's their age. They love you no matter what they say.

When the storm is over, try to have little chat and let them know how you felt. Hopefully, they will respect you enough to feel a little sheepish for their childish behaviour.

At the end of the day, they are children still and are just having big girl tantrums .

What can you do to avoid drinking under these circumstances? A long soak in the bath? Come and post here and share your anger and frustration. An exercise dvd? Baking? Try to find activities that will take your mind off the craving and keep you busy.

Right, Isinde where are you? If you don't come back soon I'm going to write some really bad poetry for you, entitled Ode to Inde.

Oh Isinde how could you leave us, wondering if you've left the bus
Mouse put out treats to tempt you back, Ma nearly had a heart attack
Venus helped define our issues, Jesus well, she got new shoes
Silver steers us through the snow, though we have so far to go
You missed it all, you weren't around, please let us know you're safe and sound.

That's just a taster. There is worse to come. You have been warned .

faire there's worse???????

C'mon babes add your own verses . . .

faire you really made me laugh - I've never read such bad poetry

How can you say that is bad poetry? It rhymes!