The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start, The Journey So Far.........

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome. There are all kinds of lovely Babes on board this Bus, drinkers, non-drinkers, part-time drinkers and those who have no idea what they are when it comes to drinking. Some are newer posters and some have been here forever for a little while.

Come and say hi, there are no rules, no 'must haves', just plenty of open and honest support.

You can talk about whatever you like. Your life, your love or even your laundry. We've seen it all!

The important thing is that you can post if you want to, or not if you don't. There are posters in AA and posters who are using medication to beat The Booze and of course posters who are just trying to cut their drinking down with the support of The Bus and the people around them.

See where we've been so far by following this ---> LINK TO PREVIOUS THREADS HERE

My God venus

How much hard work for so little return.

love to all xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

but....................if i knew how........................

definitely going to bed

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

nice story to end the evening. In supermarket today and saw a trolley at the end of a checkout with a very small boy in one seat and a very newborn baby boy in the other. As i went past, the little boy laid his head briefly on the baby in a "cuddle" and smiled at me, obviously very proud. I stopped and said to him, "Do you have a new baby brother?" at which he beamed and said "yes, do you want to feel him?".
The dad at the checkout looked friendly so I took the chance to touch a very tiny little hand just for a second....did my DCs ever have such small hands???

aww ma!!

where is everyone today? digging out the drive?

DH has shingles, poor man, big rash on his back, says its painful, i feel sorry for him, he feels he cant take any time off work, is under huge pressure right now, not much i can do to help tbh, just smother him in kindness when he is home

lovely story Ma.

venus I remember all that mixing, and selecting green bottles so I could just fill them with water, and panicking when I couldn't replace a particular bottle, and pretending I'd given it away, and hoping noone would want a Pimms because it was tea...
So exhausting.

Poor jesus' DH- keep him warm when you can.

twoteens sounds like a success, well done on talking to your friends and not reaching for the bottle Sunday night.

I think you handled it brilliantly twoteens, not sure if I could have done that, well done. You should feel proud of yourself . Now you only have to think about today.

I'm off work because I'm still full of head cold and feeling bleurgh but temperature has gone down now and sore throat seems to be easing so hopefully I will be ok tomorrow. If not, hey ho, the working world will have to cope without me.

JWN hope your dh feels better soon. It's horrid when you can't rest and have to soldier on. How are you these days?

Good morning everyone.

What a nice story, Ma. You're making my ovaries twitch just thinking about tiny babies' hands... How are you doing? Have you had any lightbulb moments regarding the drinking?? Maybe you've decided that you're going to stop drinking for a bit and see how much better you feel, or maybe you've realised that actually you don't want to be sober badly enough, and that you're going to give yourself a break from constantly feeling like you're failing? It's demoralising to want to stop every night, yet still drink every night. Be good to yourself, whichever way you go :)

How is everyone doing today? Good I hope. I've been reading over the weekend but didn't quite manage to post. Hope the littlest mouse has gone (one way or another), Mouse. And how clever is Nemo?! That's fantastic about the eating. My DS (who I think is about a year older) will practically only eat beige food - cheese, bread, pasta, potatoes, yoghurt, bananas, milk... The other two are great eaters and I keep on giving him the soup, the sauce, whatever other home-cooked delicacies I've gone to great lengths to prepare, but will he touch them? Wil he fuck. Very annoying.

Faire/ Venus/ Saf, I loved the discussion regarding the towards/away from motivators. Very thought-provoking. Lots to think about. I think the 'away from' works better for me regarding drink. Even when I didn't drink that much, my hangovers would be horrific and last all day (largely due to how badly I sleep after drinking I think). I think that changing the goal or focus away from drinking (and towards weight for example) definitely takes the pressure off though. And it helps to make the not drinking a positive thing (ie losing weight) rather than just all about denying yourself something. And Faire, your weight-loss is brilliant! I am so at your trousers falling off you! That must feel fab! .

Saf you're sounding good. Is everything settled with the meds now? Sounds like you're doing great with the drinking, too. Well done you :)

Christi how is DH?

Huey you OK?

OneSunny, you alright?

Thurso, I hope you're feeling better today. Hope this next course of antibiotics works :(

TheBoss, have you thought any more about what the therapist said? I suppose there are worse things to be obsessed about than exercise...hope you're not feeling down about it though.

Soooo I drank on Friday... I planned it to be honest, and it wasn't an 'oh my God I NEED a drink NOW moment' which it used to be. I would love to be one of you wonderful peeps who hasn't touched a drop for years but I guess I don't want it enough (maybe one day I will, I don't know). I didn't drink that much, and I stopped before I'd finished it all and had a cup of tea (that never would have happened before). I'm still pleased I did 32 days and I am determined that I will never go back to drinking how I used to, although I know I am going to have to work hard at this, and carefully monitor my drinking patterns. Right now I think I could easily go for another couple of weeks before having another drink so I hope that I haven't completely ruined all the progress I've been making. For what it's worth, I didn't actually enjoy it that much either, I felt guilty and ashamed whilst drinking (DH hasn't touched a drop since New Year's Eve and is smugger than smug) and it wasn't as relaxing as a cup of hot chocolate is! Those 'addict' feelings came back even before I had opened the bottle. DD's friend was round and her dad was late picking her up and I was getting very irritable waiting for wine time... not a nice feeling and it served as a good reminder of how the reality of drinking does not live up to the fantasy. I was irritable with DH whilst I was drinking and we had an argument (about nothing) which wouldn't have happend if I was on the Ovaltine.

Feeling really down for the last couple of days, preceded by horrible, horrible PMT. Felt like I could explode I was wound up so tight :( Now my period's here I just feel really teary and sad. I hope it is just my hormones and that this feeling will pass. Anyway, I hope you're all having good days so far.

twoteens, well done you! Wow, you could so easily have gone the other way...that must have taken some self-control and determination! Give yourself a pat on the back :)

Faire, get well soon.

JWN, poor DH. Shingles is nasty. Hope he gets better soon.

sillystroke
"I know I am going to have to work hard at this, and carefully monitor my drinking patterns" or consider what hard work your 'research' on Saturday night was.
"For what it's worth, I didn't actually enjoy it that much either, I felt guilty and ashamed whilst drinking" Step out of the rink. There's lots of support here and elsewhere.

You haven't ruined the progress you made, btw .

sssm - feeling down and shit may be a result of alcohol as well as hormones btw - it is a depressant after all and can combine nastily with pmt having more of an effect at that time than others. red wine and pmt for me seems to create very messy consequences for my mood and physical reactions.

it doesn't sound like you really got anything out of drinking (except a release from not drinking).

hope dh feels better soon jwn - remember to avoid pregnant women just in case.

feeling exhausted and nauseous. had a headache near constantly for ages now and i get waves of feeling really sick and disorientated with it. put it down to sinus infection and had penicilin at the beginning of december but it hasn't gone away and is really wearing me down. will mention it to the doctor when i see her in a couple of weeks time for results of routine blood tests. my liver was included in the blood tests actually so that'll be interesting.

have walked the dog through the fields, was like being in the arctic - all snow and fog so you couldn't see anything other than white all around you. just want to stop feeling sick and get rid of headache, hard to get anything done feeling like this.

sssm - yes the withdrawal and side effects stage has passed but i don't think these ones suit me/work as well as my old ones did. feel like they're working as much as they're going to work but i haven't got back to 'ok'. might be that whatever is causing the headache and nausea is wearing me down though rather than the depression. gawd knows.

ma - loved that story - and yes it made my ovaries twitch too

Thanks HelpYourself :)

Saf, I'm not surprised you're feeling exhausted. Living with pain like that takes it out of you. Could you bring your GP appointment forward do you think? Sounds like there's a few things that maybe she could help with. (Maybe she couldn't but at least you'd know.) You shouldn't have to live with a permanent headache and nausea etc, that's not good for anyone! Well done for going out and getting some fresh air. It's all too easy to hibernate in this weather isn't it? I'm wondering whether I do have a particular sensitivity to alcohol. If it's the drinking on Friday night that has made me feel sooo low then it's just not fair! And yes I am stamping my feet :o FFS it was only a few glasses of wine. And I slept really badly afterwards. Why is it that most people can manage a night of drinking without feeling dreadful days afterwards, and how come they "are dead to the world" etc after a few drinks, not tossing and turning for hours? I'm going to Google wine allergy...

Hope everyone's having a good day and that the poorly people are feeling a little better.

Hi, v quick post as I am working, feeling ill and rushing to finish some work before picking DD up. Drank again last night. Day 1 today. Still pleased I did two days though. If I did it last week, I can do it this week. Simple eh?

Hi everyone, missing DH! Quite tough at the moment. DD1 now ill, sick in night, am at work though. She has a headache which worries me. Might take her to doctor tomorrow. DD2 got cold but on good form. Will post more later. Awfully happy to be not drinking. Feels much more responsible, speaking to a doctor at 2am, to be utterly utterly sober.

sssm - that was the soonest i could get one - the nurse who took my blood tests made it and was shocked that it was the first available. i think i'm going to push for some kind of scan and proper check up - been a long time of assuming sinus infections and this time it's way too long lasting and hasn't responded to antibiotics and there's no way of knowing if it really is my sinus'. i think it's time to properly investigate - i feel like there is this awful pressure under my skull all the time (tries not to get paranoid about brain tumors ).

bless you cristiane never rains but it pours and all that. make sure dd drinks lots of water - easy to get a bit dehydrated when poorly and that'll give you a headache. hope she feels better.

no alcohol today - think i'd be crawling along the floor if i tried to drink!

Hi all

SSSM you have done brilliantly. You kept off the booze because that was your choice. You drank on Friday because that was your choice. You only had a few glass because that was your choice. Sounds like you are in control, which is where you want to be really, isn't it.

I agree that wine doesn't actually taste that nice. It's never what you think it's going to be after a long abstinence. It's just a bit of a mediocre drink, full of chemicals. I wouldn't be surprised if you are allergic or at least intolerant to it. Hope you feel better soon x

Saf I think it's a great idea to try and push for further investigation. It really could be any number of things, so don't panic. Have you had your eyes tested recently?

MsGee of course you can do it this week. Simples .

Cristi I see you've got your hands full as usual. Hopefully all three of you can get some rest this evening x

yes faire - i got the pressure tested in my eyes and everything as well as sight check - all fine. how are you doing?

Thanks! Am home and relieved to find they are both on real,y good form. Dd1 had a long sleep this afternoon which has done her a lot of good. Sorry didn't mean to be constantly going on about me me me.

safly hope you get a resolution, sounds horrid

faire interesting how wine can taste so strong after abstinence I think, and you can almost feel how potent it is

Hi all SSSM thanks for asking. Feeling a bit more positive today and have managed to tell it to Fuck the Fuck off tonight . Don't know why I can't do it every night, but lets not go there. Am just proud of myself tonight.
Walked in the sunshine at lunchtime at work, and did Pilates tonight.
These heart/chest pains are perhaps the wake up call I need. couldn't get an appointment today - will try again tomorrow.
MsGee hang in there and well done on two days last week.
Where the bloody hell is Isindie these days?

Hi Christi, I'm glad the girls are doing better. How is DH?

Saf, that's a long time to wait go see the GP! She'd better be good...! You'll feel a lot better when you get the headache etc sorted, I'm sure.

Thanks Faire, you are lovely . I think I might have some kind of intolerance to alcohol. Well I know it affects me more than it seems to my friends. And neither of my parents drink at all (they divorced 30-odd years ago so they made their decisions independently), although they've never said why. Anyway, looking on the bright side it gives me another reason to not drink, doesn't it? And it would have made everything very hard if I'd have had a great time drinking on Friday and not suffered any ill-effects. Anyhoo, how are you tonight? Feeling better I hope? X

Quiet on here tonight. Hope everyone's OK

Yay Ma! Well done, Mrs! Now if Isinde is any kind of friend she'll show herself now to cheer you on...

Hi guys, ended up drinking over the weekend :( defences totally down and ended up getting trollied with some big drinking friends.

The feeling of disgust and loathing is so much that I think I have to stop completely. So that's the plan. Day one and start over.

Onwards and upwards eh?

Hope you babes are all fine! Xxx

I am actually feeling remarkably well, considering how awful I was this morning. I'm going to look a right wally turning up for work tomorrow all bright eyed and bushy tailed . But I really did feel hideous earlier and it wasn't a hangover. Promise .

Today is the start of week 5 for me and is also my one monthaversary. Can't remember the last time I went that long without a drink. Even when I was still in hospital after the traumatic very early birth of dd I still had a glass of champagne. The reason? It was New Years Eve (as if I needed a reason) .

Mind you, I never drank a drop during both my pregnancies and I'm so glad or I would have blamed myself for her difficult birth. (She's fab now though, thankfully) .

Well done ma on the successful swearing today . How can you not get a same day appointment when you tell them you have chest pains? Blimey, how bad does it have to get? That's not on, ma, don't let them fob you off tomorrow.

Right, it's a bit quiet on here tonight so come on lurkers, give us a quick update on how you're doing .