Close Encounters of The Intimate Kind! Dating thread No:8

[TimeForSomeAction]

Continued from Makes post and in reply of:

Make just ask him. Why not? And of course you are going to be a bit of a mystery woman, he's only just blooming met you! Send him a message saying if he fancies unravelling a bit of the mystery then to get in touch because you would like to see him again. Be playful, be teasing, be fun, make him want you Make

I'm pleased you are having fun but I do have to ask, is all this dating costing you loads of money?? New outfits etc

Hi everyone.

Hatesponge things are looking good! You go!

I am feeling like a proper idiot. And a bit and as well.

I messaged the guy I went out with twice something silly and flirty and got a message back basically saying, "Er can we just maybe keep in touch and see how things go? I really enjoy your company but you live a long way away, I've got other dates coming up and I don't want to lead you on."

How could I have got it so wrong?? I really thought there was something there and that he was feeling it too. I was really excited about him.

I messaged back saying that of course I was happy to just see how things went, that I wouldn't be expecting any guarantees after only just two dates as that would be silly, and that of course both of us would be going on other dates and who knows what might happen. I gave him my e-mail address (he had already given me his) and said that I would leave it up to him to get in touch.

Maybe I'm just not cut out for this. I'm clearly not reading peoples signals right. I thought he wasn't trying to get intimate with me because he was taking things slowly, because he genuinely liked me, but I can see now it was because he didn't want to give me the wrong idea .

Make, you have nothing to be embarrassed about! You went on a date and liked him, he liked you but there was no spark for him it would appear. That doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you! It just means you haven't met the right one yet. knock backs are awful but the best thing to do is just fire back on in there.

Awh Make, I'm sorry. It's all a learning curve though so don't beat your self up about it and don't give up! You are cut out for dating, one day you will meet a man who is really into you and you won't look back. I'm not surprised you liked this guy, he sounds really nice and to be straight with you like that, not lead you on or take advantage, well, all credit to him.

Catswithflowers - when I joined Internet dating it was actually because my friend dared me too for a laugh one drunken night and I thought, what the hell! I certainly wasn't looking for anything serious having just split from my stbxh of eight years. I chatted with a few blokes but in all honesty I doubt I would have bothered meeting up with anyone. It was just a bit of fun to me!

Lubeybooby - Right, should I wear Boden wrap around dress with knee high boots or a shorty dress with leggings. Going to a restaraunt thats quite posh so don't think I can get away with jeans as all mine are either saggy or overworn from the school run!
Catswithflowers - wish I was going to the cinema, am worried will run out of things to say!
Make - I had a guy who was superkeen wanted to add me on fbk. Then nothing, kept getting paranoid he had seen some of my photos and gone off me.

bitsnbobs I can beat that, before Xmas a guy on POF asked to add me on Facebook. I agreed - then a day later he deleted me! He obviously wasn't impressed with my photos...oh well, his loss! and I'd go for the dress & boots I think - but probably best advice is whichever of the 2 outfits you feel most comfortable in!

make you didn't get it wrong. you thought he was nice, and I think he is, he wouldnt have sent a message like that otherwise. He probably does like you BUT he's also conscious that you do live quite a distance apart. don't let it put you off.

cats if I thought I had time for - and was likely to find - someone to have a proper relationship with, I would. I still want to get married (never have), I'd still like another child (though time for that has prob run out now) but I don't think it is likely. So for me at present something more informal is the way to go.

However all this attention over the last couple of days is making me feel really uncomfortable. I don't deal well with men telling me they are interested (even if I'm interested in them...), I accept in this respect I am a bit odd :)

Make I actually wouldn't be surprised if this was some petty revenge by him for your message saying you did have other dates - even though you didn't go on them. I may be being unreasonable but I'd personally suspect that and write him off for being childish

bitnbobs I would go for the dress with knee high boots I think, that';s a fave look of mine at the moment though so maybe biased :o

Make, don't feel bad. You only had 2 dates so enough space to move on quickly. Keep in touch with him if you really like him but take a step back. Take heart in the fact that you met someone on the internet who you liked. I lost count of the dud dates I went on and was losing heart that there were any men on these sites that I would see again, let alone fall for but of course as in everything in life I was pleasantly surprised a couple of times.

I think most of us that post on here are hoping to meet someone special even if it means just dating rather than marrying that someone.

Bitsnbobs a smartish dress with knee high boots is a good first date look I think. It's what I almost always tend to go for. Good luck on your date!

Stay on both dates the impression I got was that there was a strong spark between us. It felt to me like there was a lot of sexual tension. The kiss at the end of the first date gave me butterflies. It felt different to other dates I have been on where I've thought, 'hmmm he's quite attractive... yeah maybe...'

That's why I'm seriously starting to question my ability to read signals. Maybe I was just projecting my feelings of attraction onto him? If there was nothing there though, why the second date? He knew I had to cancel another date to go, and he also said that he had had to rearrange his day too. I also took that as a signal that he really liked me.

Oh FFS, it was only two dates. Why has this got to me so much? I only went to London for some fun.

Make - I am not surprised you thought he liked you, I probably would have done too. He did say he liked your company but you lived a bit far away. Take him at his word and don't question yourself!

Make, sometimes it only takes 2 date to fall for someone, it's happened to me twice, obviously it didn't turn out great or I wouldn't still be posting on this thread.

I think you should play this one really cool now. If the spark was there then he is being a silly arse and it could be something to do with the way it started off. Email him a couple of weeks asking how his dates went .

I'm so grateful for this thread! Without you lot here to talk to about this stuff I'd probably be mortifying myself sending kill me now e-mails, "But I thought you liiiiiked meeeeeee!"

I think you should just concentrate on the positives Make, you enjoyed the experience, he was a nice man, he gave you butterflies and he has been open and honest with you. It's a good start to the minefield that is internet dating actually

Dating was all so much easier when you were five.

Boy: will you be my girlfriend?
Girl: okay.

Job done! my eldest dd has a boyfriend. They are both six. Its been about five months now, I am very impressed!

Kiss chase! I remember it fondly.

make on the bright side (there is one!) he didn't charm your knickers off and then disappear off the face of the planet. I've really liked people who haven't really liked me - there have been people who really liked me that I couldn't reciprocate their lust feelings - it's just part of life I'm afraid.

Now hoist up your bra straps and get back in there! Look at it as great that there are people you fancy and who you want to spend time with, surely thats better than thinking the internet is full of sad, lonely, balding tossers! :)

NNo date news as such. meeting up with tony blair --michael sheen- umm.. Mr Lion next week after my theatre run finishes - still cajoling the Johnny Depp look-a-like into a date...I'm sticking with OKC for the time being.

in other exciting news, I got an email back from the Personal Dating Assistant people for a SKYPE interview for part time work match-making - I think I would be fabulous at this, as demonstrated by hacking my way through the POF deluge of emails the other week and passing on the good ones to others... i wonder how much they pay?

make - dont take it personally. I know its hard not too, but dont. Odds are you didnt do anything wrong at all - and maybe he had other things on his mind, or the distance bothered him, or he had ( nad dont hate me) another date lined up he was more excited about... or, maybe he just wants to ' date' and thats it, not be ' seeing' anyone, but just date lots of people.

About this time last year i had 2 dates with one man, who asked me for a third, i got all excited, he was keen... day before the date he cancels on me and vanishes into thin air.

Few weeks before this i had a date with somone, had a second date, it was really nice, we went to the cinema, he made some moves... lots of leg stroking and feeling going on, walked to the pub, he put his arm round me.. snog at the end of the date.. and then he dumps me there and then, post snog. Now - i dont think my kissing is that awful!

I wondered for ages what i must have done wrong, fact is, i didnt do anything ' wrong' they just werent interested for any number of reasons.

sponge - can you not date they both?

cat - im more than happy being single :) i love it. Id like someone to hang out with on a casual basis when i want.

saying that - ive got cold feet about friday now. Not really sure if i want to go.....

snape - really? thats so cool.

How exciting Snape! That's great.

watch am going to meet them both I think. and take it from there. Think one is more looking for a proper relationship than the other, although I am prob totally wrong and in fact both are just looking for a one off!

Why have you got cold feet about Friday?

snape brilliant news re the interview, I saw that article yesterday & thought it sounded great!

sponge - yay! go for it. when are you meeting them?

and i dont know why really. I mainly cant be arsed with the entire effort. From painting my toenails to sorting the house out ' just in case' to having to shower and do my hair and everything on a friday evening, post work and dog walking ans bloody swimming lessons... when i cant be arsed ( and its cold... i have a problem with going out evenings in the winter i think)
and just making small talk with somone i know is doing little other than thinking how quickly he might be able to get into my pants.

Its not about the teacher - he seems quite nice.. its more about me.

Excited for you Sponge and looking forward to your update

I know exactly how you feel watch.

and, actually, because he messaged me on the profile i had with pics.... we exchanged a message ot two and then he got lost under all the others.

but because he also messaged the picless profile. ( not knowing it was me)

Its double standards. I know.
( though his profile says hes looking for a relationship)

AND - he sent me some pics yesterday,a nd he does indeed look like a teacher.....

I dont know if i should just go... because it might be fun.
or not, and watch ' new girl' from under my slanket. ( oh yes, i know how to live)

Exciting news about the interview Snape! That sounds like a really fun job. x