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Original poster

Is there hope for me?

109 replies

FabbyChic · 31/12/2011 19:14

It's New Years Eve again another alone.

I have BPD, I get paranoid, I guess you could say I'm needy.

I joined POF, a guy I started talking to just this week sent me a message saying, not ignoring you, really like you some bad news etc., Says someone in his family had a stroke.

Yet, when I sign in he is online and I have heard nothing from him, my head tells me that he is messing, why? Because if he was interested he would just say Hi, yet nothing.

I can't do with players, my emotional state just cannot handle it, its like when someone shows an interest for me that's it, and I go full swing, then it's like when they stop I get all tearful, think it's cos I'm fat, cos a lot of me don't reply cos I'm a size 14 and 20lb overweight.

Will I always be an emotional cripple? Am I destined to just be alone.

I feel tearful tonight, I'd love a cuddle, just someone to watch a DVD with. I've not had a cuddle for 20 months then before that 6 months, then before that 3 years.

Am I now too old at 47 to find someone?

I dunno.

I have upped my doseage of anti-psychotics so I just feel numb all the time.

I haven't name changed because I don't do that.

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 31/12/2011 19:18

Perhaps he leaves his PC/phone logged in?

troisgarcons · 31/12/2011 19:19

TBH with you Fabby - the nasty amount of vicious shit you dish out to other people - I think you are very brave, posting warts and all.

Original poster
FabbyChic · 31/12/2011 19:20

I guess thats possible, but he has to log in to start with and he does that after I have messaged,I've not bombarded him with messages at all, just hope everthing is okay fingers crossed here for you was the last message. He signed in after that and never replied, then logged off, then signed back in again.

I am really paranoid, a lot of people with BPD decide to stay single cos its easier.

And it would be, but just sometimes I want to feel attractive.

OP posts:
Original poster
FabbyChic · 31/12/2011 19:21

I've nothing to hide, Im just me. I post honestly I don't sugar coat stuff. Besides if people want to be nasty to me I guess I can always get this deleted.

OP posts:
troisgarcons · 31/12/2011 19:24

you tell it like it is: but you have a more than honest side sometimes.

Lovvie - I find you refereshing - some people wont.

Its NYE - maybe he's online talking to friends and family - and you come a little down the list of importance.

EricNordmanfirandMistletoe · 31/12/2011 19:24

Of course there is hope for you. Maybe not this guy, but there are lots of men who would jump at you! You are forthright, opinionated, strong minded and right wing. You are a natural born Tory wife! And 20lb is nothing. You are not fat :)

TongueTwister · 31/12/2011 19:26

fabby I don't know you, but you're not too old to find someone. Maybe you're just not ready to deal with at the moment. You can only make yourself happy, no one else can. It's better to be alone than in an awful relationship. Next year might be better for you, have some hope, it's the only thing that sees us through the low points.

Original poster
FabbyChic · 31/12/2011 19:28

Its been a lonely five years, and Im not getting any younger or any better.

I think its just cos its NYE. plenty of men want just sex, but Im not sure I can do tht without emotional attachment.

OP posts:
Original poster
FabbyChic · 31/12/2011 19:28

Tory? OMG I hate the tories!

OP posts:
Original poster
FabbyChic · 31/12/2011 19:30

Well the guy on POF blocked me.

OP posts:
TongueTwister · 31/12/2011 19:33

What did you say to him?

EricNordmanfirandMistletoe · 31/12/2011 19:34

Hahaha no way! But you are so reactionary, how can you not be a Tory??? Ok but the fact remains you need to keep fishing in that sea. You are a catch to plenty of men, you just have to find them. Nobody is incapable of finding love or indeed sex.

namechangerbat · 31/12/2011 19:36

I don't really know what to say. Think this could turn into a bun fight.

maleview70 · 31/12/2011 19:37

I think the internet has a lot to answer for. I know a few blokes who have used it for dating and they dont want serious relationships. In there words, "Why would I when there are literally plenty of fish!". Half the fun for the man is the thrill of the chase and this is why so many let you down. Women generally are looking for relationships especially those is their 30's and upwards while many men are just looking for short term flings and plenty of them. Dating sites give them that opportunity. I have had married friends of mine say "If dating sites were around in my day I would never have got married when I did".

Not sure what the answer is though.

TongueTwister · 31/12/2011 19:38

I'm not a fan of dating sites either, maybe join a club?

Original poster
FabbyChic · 31/12/2011 19:38

He didn't block me, he deleted his profile. I've two accounts, both say the same, he didn't know the other account so he couldn't have blocked that!

I just said he makes me feel like shit and angsty, that it was a nice touch sending a he really liked me mail then ignoring me when he signed in.

OP posts:
Original poster
FabbyChic · 31/12/2011 19:39

Thing is, I have lived here for 7.5 years and I don't know anybody other than work colleagues. I have no friends here at all. Work colleagues are married etc,

OP posts:
Original poster
FabbyChic · 31/12/2011 19:40

I make no bones about the fact that I am different, I have a personality disorder, Im honest and direct. I don't mince my words. I am also nice on here on occasion, I am not always mean.

OP posts:
TongueTwister · 31/12/2011 19:40

Sometimes you have to take people on face value until you get to know them. He said he really liked you... You gave him shit for not being all over you like a rash... It would probably scare me off I'm afraid to say. Relax, you can't catch love with a net or a gun...

TongueTwister · 31/12/2011 19:41

Do you meet people outside of work? Have any hobbies?

TongueTwister · 31/12/2011 19:42

What kind of personality disorder do you have?

namechangerbat · 31/12/2011 19:42

Fabby you have always been nasty on every single thread of mine.

Why would you have two profiles on the same dating site?

Original poster
FabbyChic · 31/12/2011 19:43

I work and come home and walk the dog, I don't go out other than Saturday mornings to shop.

I read or I used to.

I've just come out of 3 years long term manic depression whereby I isolated myself and was basically a recluse.

OP posts:
TongueTwister · 31/12/2011 19:43

Why are you nasty to people? You could be direct and polite, or are you just angry and pissed off.?

Original poster
FabbyChic · 31/12/2011 19:44

I have one with pictures, and the second one is blank, I was deciding on a name, I only just rememberd it.

And namechanger I see you changed your name to post on my thread!

At least I never hide behind a namechange.

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