The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New Year, New Start And With A Firm Resolution In Their Hearts.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse and I have an ever changing relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a support thread for those who feel their drinking habits are not what they should be, or even those of another.

Sober, drinking or somewhere in between, come take a seat.

And for those who would like to know where this all started, HERE is a link to the threads before this one.

Make THIS year THE year that you change your life, for the better.

Have a Happy New Year, full of memories to treasure, not to forget.

saf different schools have different policies- but none of them wants a sick child passing on bugs and having to be collected. Its winter! He must be what,4- 5? Of course he's going to get bugs.

I've been there with the sick-child-frantic-dog-needs-a-walk too, in the past I've driven to where I can park up with a bundled up child and chase the dog round within sight, but your Dad might tbe the best bet.

Morning all. Slight boing here! Don't tell Isinde but I had a great night's sleep last night, almost 8 hours!! This never would have happened if I'd been drinking. Massive reason not to drink for me.

Hope DT2 is better this morning. It's almost unbearable listening to them cry when you can't do anything. That's amazing that her sister slept through it all! Think how much worse it could have been...!

Saf sorry DS is poorly too. Sounds like you definitely did the right thing to me. With the high temperature and complaining of feeling ill I'd have kept him off too. I wouldn't worry about the school. It's germ season right now, I'm sure there are a few kids who have been off for a bit, then back to school, then had a bit of a relapse. Maybe mention your concerns to the Head or a teacher just so they know you're not keeping him at home without any thought? Don't worry though. He'll be back to school soon I'm sure. And there may be days when you're not sure whether he's putting it on or not but I think you just have to weigh it up at the time and do what you think's right then. I'm sure we all get it wrong occasionally but until some genius invents the Are You Really Poorly Or Are You Trying It On detector then we'll all just have to carry on keeping our fingers crossed to some extent

Christi I hope DH feels a bit better today. Your situation sounds so hard, so draining for you.

Silver, it sounds like you're making real progress. Once you've got to the right place in your head, your actions will continue to follow suit, I'm sure. Good for you. Hope your mum has a calm day today.

Ma, you do make me laugh .

Mouse, are you back in your house? Hope you and Nemo are both doing OK.

Another day of list-tackling here. Might squeeze in a dog walk on the beach if I get chance. Does anyone else feel guilty when they do nice things like that? I have so much 'stuff' to do that I always feel guilty that I should just be getting on with it all. Maybe I'd feel different if I wasn't dealing with such a backlog of paperwork, financial organisation and housework etc (due in part to my drinking I know; it made me so unproductive ). Well i guess I need to get off here if I'm going to make any progress with it all!

Have good days everyone.

walking a dog on the beach sigh.

Don't feel guilty, if you need a justification its self care. Take a moment to be grateful when you're there.

I'm V

don't feel guilty sillymum! just schedule one 'task that needs doing' for each pleasurable task. mind you walking the dog is a task that needs doing isn't it? no harm in enjoying it at the same time.

i too live in backlog world - so far behind i don't know where to start. when i'm doing well and healthy-ish i begin to make progress and occasionally even nearly get on top of things, then i get ill or a school holiday arrives or something and i'm way behind again. tbh i think probably all of us feel like this - i have a lot of admiration for people who manage to work and keep on top of their home and all the bills and administration that seems to be involved in simply existing. i want some land and a yurt and to only have to worry about collecting wood for the burner would need a generator though - not going without some mod cons

also [green] at the beach - where are you-ish? i used to live in hove for a few years and loved my beach walks into town - so nice to have a proper horizon - good for the soul.

helpyourself - great plan with the car but i don't drive unfortunately. we do have huge playing field at the end of our street though so if worst comes to worst i'll bundle ds up and walk up there and let the dog run in mad circles.

thanks for the school advice everyone.

silly walking on a beach whatever time of the year sounds like bliss. For each crappy job rewarding yourself is the plan.

Sorry to read about all of you babes who are dealing with the aftermath depression. My ex-partner was bi-polar and living with him I was always on a knife edge as to which part of the spectrum he was on at any given time. His manic phases were always more unpredictable than his down phases. Which was probably why I hit the bottle so much to try and anesthetize myself from reality. Not a good situation to be in

I have total respect for you in the admirable way you are coping with things. I wish I'd discovered MN a year ago. Maybe things would have been different for me.

Anyway off to be productive in the Job hunting front. No booze for me today!

Take care and hope you all have a good day!
xx

boing!!!

silly, if it makes you feel less guilty, why not find a local rubbish dump to walk the dog over? SEE!! you daft woman! to me, walking a dog is obligatory for the dog, why not make it pleasing for you aswell, thats known as 'multitasking'!

saf, at this time of year teachers know all about the little ones being poorly, they have proberbly had the cold themselves!

huey, have a good day!

DH going to go away for a while. We have decided. Hope it's the right choice. Will be mad hard for me to keep up the job and the kids, but I am going to take a few days' holiday to help me. And certainly stay off the booze, but still taking it one day at a time.

Welcome Huey :o I started on 2nd Jan too - can't believe it's over 3 weeks already.
Looking forward to getting past a month though as that really will be the longest ever really, since childhood! Even when I was pregnant I would have the odd unit or two at a 'do', which probably worked out at one / month or so.
I am starting to have nights out lined up in February though (have been hibernating in January with sober month excuse), and I don't know what I'm going to do. Thinking about a night out when planning it in advance, I can't imagine not drinking, but actually when it gets to it I can well imagine not wanting to ruin progress just to have a drink and feel like crap.

Like jwn said, I'm a bit scared of drinking now. I've got it in my head that it's a sad bad and dangerous thing, so I'm happy avoiding it. If I have a drink and enjoy it it might make it hard to not have another the next day.

Oh well it's a couple of weeks away yet.

silver, very sorry to hear about your mum. Is it a how long has she got type of cancer, rather than a treatable type then? :(

mouseface I hope your injections went well and are working

Cristi you must have the patience of a saint. I have no knowledge / experience of depression, but your DH's fluctuations do sound rather.. convenient for him. I hope the break does him good, and maybe it won't even be too hard for you on your own - you'll have to do everything but you will be prepared for it, rather than thinking you have DH's help and then being let down / frustrated again.

SSSM I was going to ask the same about CBB :o
I guess we are the only ones watching.. It's been fascinating to watch though, I thought it might be a bit tricky watching them all get merry while I sit on the sofa with a vimto, but actually, you can see right through it, can't you. Denise in particular is dreadful after a drink - she was sober for nearly two years apparently. I hope she goes back to it after this.
Interesting to watch the other night after the big fight - Nicola got a cup of tea, Denise carried on swigging. I know which I would have done too

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

I'm so sorry to not have caught up again, IsinDe - I managed to see your post about DD2 and a snotty DS for you Saf xx

I'm alive, just, but can honestly say, anyone who says to you, "oh, you'll be fine, it doesn't hurt, you can't feel a thing, it's just a bit uncomfortable" is either lying, had a GA or was sedated up to their back teeth. It was like having hot screws turned into your spine. And he did both sides after hoping he'd only have to do just the left.

My doc refuses to do it under GA or sedation as he, and I quote, "likes to be able to know if you are in pain when he hits the nerves".

The guy is sadistic. I mean it. Evil. I'm really bruised and sore. The nursing staff had to keep hold of me for 2.5 hours in recovery before they could let me get up. I was screaming in pain at one point and the staff in the 2nd Stage Recovery Area said that they'd never seen anyone so upset and in pain following that procedure with that doc before. Maybe it's because I am not making it up and I am in constant pain you fuckwits.

Oh well, I must be the 0.01% who feels every tap of the needle going into my spine. Typical eh?

He rushed the right side and I've bruised badly. DH had to re-dress the wounds last night as they were still weeping.

Anyway, I've taken Nemo to nursery and it was awfully painful to have to stand. He's asleep now so I'm going to try and lye down for a while and put my TENS on.

I can have it done again in 3 months if it works, so far, the pain is much worse. Only time will tell.

Off to catch up, be back later xx

Hi - I just came across this thread last night (and was up until 1am reading it!). So happy to know that there are so many other people trying to get to grips with their relationship with alcohol and really touched by how supportive you all are to one another. I haven't had a drink since the early hours of January 1st, nor have I had a cigarette. Hard going, doing both at once, but I couldn't give up smoking if I didn't stop drinking and I wanted to do both very much anyway, not just the smoking.

Typically I would have at least half a bottle of wine an evening, 5 nights a week since I stopped BFing. Very often DP would go out to the corner shop once he had finished his beers to get more wine, or get himself more beers and me a naice cider, so it could be a lot more 2 or 3 nights a week. Not a good way to be with an 18 month old asleep upstairs, particularly the associated smoking. So I decided for loads of reasons (DS' sake, stop smoking, general health, weight loss, finance, hangovers, because my dad and PIL are both alcoholics and DP and I have real tendencies to go the same way and have hideous, hideous arguments when we were both drunk) just to stop and see if I could stay stopped, one day at a time.

I don't have an evening social life as we moved to DP's hometown just before DS was born and I haven't been working, so haven't made any friends outside of other mothers to DCs of around 18 months - am lucky in that I don't have that pressure to deal with. Just learning to cope with DP drinking and smoking as normal (which I started out being really snotty about, but now am able to just let him get on with it and not nag at him to drink/smoke less - he will do it if/when he really wants to).

Got really ill about a week in and just sort of recovering from it now - still have hideous cough but sleeping loads better and love feeling alert and raring to get up and get going in the morning with DS and not feeling guilty that I was hungover and being a crap mother. Getting through the fizzy water at a rate of knots, as well as eating tons more sugary foods (which I never usually like) but will start dealing with diet and getting a bit of exercise next month. Coming up for my 35th birthday and want to enter middle age responsibly!

Brief post, and probably not usual eloquent self .....

Silver you sound good, despite all the crap that is going on in your life. Keep on going. x

Christi it seems like a good idea for dh to get some space for a little while, it might do him some good, and it will probably do you some good. Although you will have to cope with all the domestic things on your own, I know you're organised and capable and sometimes the certainty of knowing it's up to you for a couple of weeks is easier than the not-knowing if someone else has done what was needed. Not a long term solution, but maybe just the step that is needed right now.

Mouse that sounds so awful . My dp had some injections for a problem in his shoulder. For the first 2 days he said never again and over his dead body etc. But a week later things had calmed down a lot and seeing him relieved of pain was marvellous. About 9 months later he needed some more injections and he almost skipped into the clinic. He came out saying never again and over his dead body etc. And then a week later..... (you get the picture). A bit like childbirth

Waves to all other babes - I'm so bloody busy, running around in circles chasing my tail, and I shouldn't even be on here. I have so much to do - all with deadlines. Anyone know how to invent a couple of spare days? Oh and it's not helped by knowing that the reason I'm so busy is all my own fault for not getting stuff done before it became a deadline (thank you Mr Accountant for that helpful insight ). And yes I know I do it every year.

venus - I know. I'm going to give it time xx

Hi Peruna I'm a newbie too, I wish I'd found the thread earlier but I'm glad I have!

Hippo thanks for the shout, I've managed a couple of pub lunches on the lime and soda, but don't want to tempt fate with a night out. Will get Jan out of the way and look again. Don't want to be a hermit forever! But as you said jan is nearly over

I seem to be replacing booze with exercise which is a far better swap. I want an arse of steel by summer!

i have everything crossed for you mouse - i so hope this works for you. sorry it was so painful and upsetting

just had a craving to have a drink and cleaned the tiles and windowsill etc in the kitchen instead by which time i forgot i'd wanted a drink until i came on mn and saw this thread! i would like to aim to not drink at least every other day for now.

welcome peruna - sounds like you're doing great especially with someone drinking and smoking around you. good to have you on board.

may the force be with you venus - just remember the fines they dish out and plough on through it.

Welcome Huey and Perunabomber (fab name)

[bshock] and [bsad] and for Mouse

Evening all and welcome to Perunabomber

Mouse I really, really, hope this works and is worth all the suffering.

SSSM I am a secret CBB watcher too. Well I have half an eye on it when it's on. I did watch the awful drunken argument (cringe). If anyone needed a reminder to stay off the booze. I bet they will be so embarassed watching it back.

Christi I think that's a great idea to give you both a break. It will be hard for you on your own but I hope you get to enjoy your days off and take a little time for yourself.

Love to all x

Thank you for all of the well wishes. Tonight is better than this morning. xx

Just a quick one. Will post properly in the morning (you lucky, lucky people ).

PerUna, welcome . Sounds like you're doing brilliantly. Well done. Hope you're feeling better for it.

Mouse, I am so glad you posted tonight to say you're feeling a bit better. When I read your earlier post I was so disappointed for you. And it sounds as though it was almost unbearably painful. I so hope it was all worth it. Fingers crossed you feel some benefit soon.

Hope all the poorly children are better and that everyone gets tonnes of sleep.

PS thanks for the virtual slap around the face before. I didn't actually get to the beach but that's because I suddenly remembered my tax return (aarrgghh, Venus I feel your pain), not because I thought I didn't deserve it. What a bloody idiot . Might make it tomorrow (guilt-free hopefully!).

Have good nights Babes

Thanks SSSM

I'm off to bed now as the moment I typed that post that pain started again. Plus my smart phone is being a nobber

See you tomorrow Brave Babes, be good and stay safe xxxx

Mouse you have such a lovely turn of phrase

Bedtime for me too. Sleep well babes (children permitting) x

Good night babes, another night ticked off

And tomorrow is another day!

Sleep well xx

Am also just popping in to mark my place as am off to bed in a minute. Been sleeping dreadfully (although not drinking) but, really, it is not a problem compared to the things some of you other babes are going through right now.

As I've said before, I am much more of a lurker than a contributor. I am sorry I can't keep up sufficiently to post every day and don't feel I give out any support, but do just want to say again that it helps me very much to read this thread. It keeps me on the straight and narrow and clarifies what I am trying to achieve.

Wishing all babes a peaceful night and a good day tomorrow.

Morning everyone. bibbitybobbity I am the same with the crap sleeping
I slept like a log for the first couple of weeks, but now I find it hard to go to sleep... Then hard to stay asleep, then I wake up really early too. All very boring, I thought the no drinking would fix things here! But anyway. At least I don't have a hangover!

Morning everyone, hope that you feel better mouse

Hw are the kids isinde

Thanks so much for everyine's support re DH. He was not good last night. Lay in bed just staring straight ahead, then went I sleep. I cuddled him in his sleep. I just want the old DH back, this is awful. I am feeling quite unsettled as to what the future holds.

Big speech tomorrow night aaaaaah!!!!!