He wants to be my slave,,,,

[SpiritualKnot]

Chatted to someone online and on the phone last night. He wants to be my slave. I am serious!! He sounds totally normal, easy to talk to, divorced, pleasant but he says this is a fetish he has.

He says he wants to sit at my feet, or he'll be my footstool, he'll wash up for me, make me drinks, massage my feet, anything I want. When others are around he'll be normal as it'll be a private thing between the two of us.

Don't know whether to feel lucky or creeped out really. I've often thought it would be quite useful, in theory, to have a slave, but I'm definitely not into domination stuff, but he says that might develop with time.

Anyone any experience of this type of fella?

But you could order him to fuck you how you wanted - i.e. not submissively, although at the same time for him it would be IYSWIM?

Spiritual, my experience of men with fetishes is that many of them like to do an awful lot of talking and not a lot of action. In other words they often like to collect wank fodder without acting on any of the stuff you give them, so?
If you are interested in having him as a house slave, even if it?s just to try it to see if it?s your thing, I?d suggest you have one meeting ASAP on neutral territory where boundaries and expectations are discussed and agreed upon. If he makes excuses saying he can?t meet until XYZ but wants to discuss things online I?d consider him a timewaster. People who are serious are keen to get into the action not swap emails or texts for weeks.

Santastooearlymustdache, humiliation is good in a relationship if it?s a fetish both partners enjoy. We just have to accept there are some people out there who are into stuff we don?t ?get?.

MsLillyBeth

I was talking about the one-sided enjoyment in a dysfunctional relationship, my friend is not happy on a day to day basis, but she really enjoys the sex aspect.
Her partner treats her appalingly, he belittles her in public, and makes jokes about him letting her have the upper hand during sex games as her 'compensation', no way was i making a generalisation about all fetishists - i have a few of my own

a pathetic PITA texting all the time wanting to know what humiliating things I had planned for them

Lubeybaubley wouldn't they be happy with just a text back saying "Stop wasting my time with your boring texts you utter turd" or something?

My DP and i have similar fetishes (and others). It really is a good way to get housework done - as he never does it at any other time!!

Try the web site Arena Blaze for starters to see if you like it. They also have a book list - i like the mistress manual.

Why not try it - you might like it

There is an alternative sexy way of getting the housework done. Adopting the husky woman's voice from sat nav recordings, hence "In two minutes, take out the bin from the kitchen and place it in the outside bin." delievered a la Joanna Lumley. Most men would blithley follow any instruction.

OP - you must be very careful as the feller is saving himself LOADS of money by sharing his fantasies. It would cost him a lot on premium 'phone lines! Don't let him groom you unless you are very interested!

Google "dungeons for hire" or "bdsm." You will be amazed!

It costs a fortune for a bloke to visit a dominatrix (you may wish to check this) so is much easier to use women on dating sites Good luck!

can I have him? I really need someone to do the cleaning up.

also, can my husband use his services? we could do with some cleaning.

Most of you are being quite flippant; it's a very serious isssue. Op is being used!

Fine for her if she is into bdsm/s&m but NOT if the feller is telling her his fantasies over the 'phone!

He is saving loads of money by going on dating sites. Really quite clever!

ring that would depend on how he is telling her. If you start dating someone and have these fetishes, how are you supposed to ascertain whether they would like them too without asking them?

Knowing people who have this particular fetish and being in a fetishistic relationship myself i know how painful and nerve wracking it can be when you meet someone new.

Is it any wonder some people keep this a secret from their partner, if the response is ridicule or accusations of using them as a free sex aid.

The OP sounds intrigued and if she feels used she should tell him so, if he is nice in other ways like she says then i am sure he will stop. But she sounds like she may be considering it.

Really - i could think of a lot worse!

DH's best mate is in my phone under Jux's Man-Slave. He insisted.

I have never seen him without dh being present, btw (and we're NOT swingers!)

I suggested this to dh. He said no.

Thanks for all the replies. I'm going to meet him for a coffee in a week or so and see how it goes.

I was married to a right bossy git for 20 years so this might do me some good. Worth a try.

Will let you know what happens.

xx

Plenty of red flags here...

Mmmm he sounds like Dobby the house elf slave from Harry Potter, and I definitely wouldn't schlepp him....i can't get the image out of my head now either..

Perhaps watching him flick the "swiffer" round my living room expertly would get my throb on though....

I would have super fun emailing and texting him though. Ask him to take a photo of himself as a living vase, doing a headstand with a bunch of daffs shoved up his rusty bullet wound and see if he complies....

rudolph - the sub or the slave is always the dominant one in relationships; they rule the world!

SK - go back to your posts of the 23rd! Have nothing to do with this feller UNLESS you are into bdsm. It's horrible if you are a normal touchy, feely person!

Spud - get your point but this bloke seems to want to visit OP as a one-off! He could be doing this with many, many women! ... ergo, saving himself lots of money!

sparks not sure why someone having a fetish and respectfully asking someone if they are interested is a red flag.

bin it isn't very nice to play with someone, if you aren't interested you should leave them alone not make them do stuff for your amusement - i know everyone finds it hilarious because it is different, but this person has feelings. Sorry to sound pious but ridiculing people is unpleasant. How would you feel if this was men telling a man to humiliate a woman he had met on a dating site?

ring i didn't get that from the op, i thought they were starting dating and it would not be a one off. Also both DP and i are 'normal touchy, feely' people. We have very loving 'normal' sex lots of the time. Most fetishist manage quite a healthy balance. Probably one in 3 shags is fetishy for us (sorry tmi!).

I also wanted to say that just like 'normal' sex, not everyone who likes it would pay a stranger for it. Just like everyone else, it is usually a loving act of intimacy between 2 people. The idea that he is saving money and is not able to be loving is simply not necessarily true - he may never pay for it and this to him could be the way he expresses devotion.

Trust is also a big deal, fetishist are often reluctant to do this with people unless they have a connection. No one wants someone to laugh at them when they are their most vulnerable.

Of course, there are always drooling pervs out there and people who would exploit you - but sadly you get that in all tastes, vanilla or otherwise.

Because after a couple of chats on a vanilla type website he is already asking a stranger to indulge in his fetishes, it sounds like an alarm bell to me and I agree with other posters that he is deeply suspicious...

And male or female it doesn't bother me, I'll be tongue in cheek to whoever I damn well please thanks. Especially after spending a year with a man who could only ejaculate whilst someone wore gloves and verbally abused him...fetishes just became repetitive, sterile, enacted and boring when someone just has tunnel vision of gaining their own pleasure in their own narrow way at all costs. What the hell is in it for the op? Has he asked her what she derives pleasure from? If it's not your bag it's simply selfish and boring. My sex life may be termed "vanilla" these days but at least my partner can perform and orgasm any time any place and any position without the absolute need for a ballgag, binliner and marigolds and makes sure he pleases me as much as himself.

yes bin that sounds rubbish however, i have found those with fetishes (particularly sub) put a LOT of effort into pleasing their partner. Also i would hope that anyone who cared about someone would want them to be 'happy' too.

IME (which is quite clearly different to yours) the person with the fetish puts loads of effort into their partner if not for any other reason than quid pro quo.

Yes, i understand it is early days for the OP but better to know before you fall in love then find your dp is into something you can't tolerate.

However, there are selfish arseholes out there whatever their 'tastes'. Sadly you had one i think.

Glad you are happier with your sex life now tho.

completely disagree with you spud. The subs rule everything and are completely inconsiderate towards their partners!

ring what are basing this on? if you are in a relationship and someone is being an arse to you i would say that's more because they are an arse than because they are a sub.

The fetishist groups i am involved with have those couples who role play dom/sub and in all other aspects of their lives their relationships are 'normal' - shopping, picking up dc's, going out for nice meals etc.

Spuddy

I was actually being ironic about some of the completely over the top replies.