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Original poster

Am I being paranoid?

145 replies

Sophiebites · 21/12/2011 11:15

So I have started dating someone, a few months and all was going well until yesterday.

I have just found out that he is still in constant touch (daily) with his ex who from what I know behaved very badly to him and he has always said he would never go back to.

I looked at his phone (I know I know I know) they text constantly, very flirty, he wnats to meet, she isn't sure and he doesn't push it, they talk for an hour at a time on the phone? loads of x's and babes etc etc, sometimes he just says hows your day babe, what you up to.

What does this look like?

OP posts:
MsLillyBeth · 21/12/2011 14:45

Glad you're going to ditch him. If I were you I'd let him have the full force of your venom, a verbal kick in the swingers, then go and spend his voucher on something nice for yourself.

izzywhizzysmincepies · 21/12/2011 15:10

Unless you go for 'you're dumped' with no discussion he's bound to give you the old spiel about how he's so over her and you're the one he wants.

But you know that's not true and he'll only be saying it so that he's got a guaranteed shag over the festive season or until she gives him the nod again .

At least if you dump him now you might be immortalised as another 'psycho bitch' when he's drowning hs sorrows with his mates.

Be aware that he may be one of those types who's happier being an on-off dumper/dumpee than stepping up to the plate and engaging in a meaningful non-melodramatic relationship, in which case you'll be the recipient of flirty texts and offers of dinner etc Xmas Grin

Original poster
Sophiebites · 21/12/2011 15:15

Not so

Dumped him for not being over her and all he said was sorry

didn't even bother to deny it?

massive blow to my ego i thought he would at least try but he didn't seem that bothered

OP posts:
kallima · 21/12/2011 15:23

I know you probably feel rubbish at the moment, but WELL DONE!!

ThatsNotSantasBabyBelly · 21/12/2011 15:52

Agree - well done you!

Feels like shit but you have saved yourself a lot of heartache.

PeppermintPasty · 21/12/2011 16:29

So sorry Sophie, but you know what-this means you won't waste another second of your wonderful life on that idiot. Why should someone so selfish take up your time? Be good to yourself, treat yourself to something lovely.

Well done x

tallwivglasses · 21/12/2011 16:44

Well done Sophie. Now put your sparkly glad-rags on, go out and pose stunningly under some mistletoe x

namechangedtomoan · 21/12/2011 17:04

Well done sophie you're worth more than second place good luck for a very happy 2012!

openerofjars · 21/12/2011 17:19

Didn't have time to post earlier today, but have been following this thread in spare moments.

Well done you! For what it's worth, I wouldn't believe anything he said about her unless corroborated by three independent witnesses: you are well shot of him. Now, what are you going to spend those vouchers on? Treat yourself, you deserve to.

Original poster
Sophiebites · 21/12/2011 18:19

Thanks all, just logged on to facebook looked at his page

really wish I hadn't

He commented on one of her comments that he was glad they were friends
she said ooooo don't you fancy me any more then,and he said thats retorical (sic) as you won't meet me

WTF WTF WTF so bloody angry now, its now like he doesn't care who knows,tempted to block but want to see if that makes sense

I'm thinking I was a shag till he gets what he wants, and thats not me, she really is a cow and he deserves her

Going to get chocolate and wine

OP posts:
Original poster
Sophiebites · 21/12/2011 18:21

and I know I amranting, but she was a psycho, I am not, why her I keep thinking it makes no sense

Sorry just feeling mightily pissed off and don not understand it at all

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Anniegetyourgun · 21/12/2011 18:28

Keep off the Facebook now. You've seen all you need to - that is, proof that he is indeed a massive pillock of whom you are well shot. You've got better things to do with your time, like meeting a proper man who sees you as a real person and isn't playing teenage games with a not-so-ex. And eating chocolate, of course.

Original poster
Sophiebites · 21/12/2011 18:34

thanks but wine is kicking in and i want to talk to him to make sure
that he really is still into her, maybe he is not and just messimg I don't know

OP posts:
Original poster
Sophiebites · 21/12/2011 18:35

and she sounds like a nutter , why wd he want that back

sorry drinking vino and crying and really want to call him

OP posts:
Scoundrel · 21/12/2011 18:38

She wasn't a psycho, he made out to you that she was. She was still in some kind of on/off relationship with him.

ImperialBlether · 21/12/2011 18:41

You thought you knew him, but you've realised now you don't, not really. That's always really difficult.

Have you got friends you could be with tonight?

I know it's hard to do, but could you block him on Facebook and delete his phone number and texts and emails?

Original poster
Sophiebites · 21/12/2011 18:45

thanks i really need to callhim to sort this out i think

she really is a psycho so it makes no sense to me at all

i just need to call him

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ThatsNotSantasBabyBelly · 21/12/2011 18:48

DONT CALL HIM!! Why isn't there a shouty emoticon!!?

He is a shit, she is a shit (according to him), you are lovely, which is the odd one out?

ThatsNotSantasBabyBelly · 21/12/2011 18:49

Oi SOPHIE! I hope you are not calling him

Original poster
Sophiebites · 21/12/2011 18:50

um she is a psycho and after 2 glasses of wine I want to know
why she is all that? it makes no sense to me

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PermanentlyOnEdge · 21/12/2011 18:54

Don't call him. You will not get what you want.

elesbells · 21/12/2011 19:02

please please dont call him.....you will regret it....and feel stupid if he knocks you back...

you are worth more than he gave you...

have you got a friend you can call instead?

ImperialBlether · 21/12/2011 19:03

Don't call him. Really, don't. He let you end it without a fight - it's really horrible but you have to face facts.

Yes, he and she will probably get together and if they do it's only a matter of time before he's calling her a psycho again, but hey ho, that's his look out.

The fact is he was still emotionally involved with her - everyone knows that a third party (ie you) can't do anything at all to stop that.

SantasENormaSnob · 21/12/2011 19:08

Maintain your dignity.

Do not call, you are well rid.

Original poster
Sophiebites · 21/12/2011 19:21

I did call so weak but I couldn't help it

she is quote a "bit of a nutter" but ok really and he thinks she still likes him
so doesn't want to hurt her????

They have known each other a long time so thats why he forgives her

Yes he DOES fancy her

He is sorry etc etc

fuck get me a wine vat

OP posts: