Porn. How do you honestly feel about it?

[Biggem]

I mean we all know men are going to look whether we like it or not.
But, I want (need) to know how other women feel about it, and I'm to scared to ask my friends incase I turn out to be the only one who has issues with it.

Any porn is fine, or is it when they start going on the live things (internet, not the shows in amsterdam) that it would bother you? Or aslong as ur still getting it u don't care it's only when they'd rather watch it than come and bump uglies with u!)

I can't stand it and will never understand why anyone gets off on looking at images of women who are abused and objectified.

Hmm interesting. I brought this up with my friends once and was shocked that I appeared to be the only one who feels like Memoo about it. My DH has same attitude towards it as me too, thankfully.

It is such a shame that many women feel like they are not allowed to have a problem with porn. Having had a friend who got caught up in the adult "industry", I feel very strongly that real people are hurt by pornography, I do not want it in my home titillating anyone, and I married a man who agrees with me.

To be honest, I'm pretty much opposed to anything other than fairly tame pictures of naked people or non-misogynistic sexy (not porn) films.

There is no evidence that porn, of the type we see a lot all around, is good for men or women. I know we're all supposed to be cool about porn but basically it's fucking up a lot of relationships, making people insecure and damaging real sex lives. But I should stop moaning cos it's a big earner for those selling it!

Not all men look at it. If your partner does and you don;t like it, that's a legitimate point of view.

Duvetdayplease thank you.
Why do we feel like we have to be ok with it?! I wish it didnt bother me, but it does.
Im not a prude either, but I guess thats a pretty standard response to these kinda questions too isn't it?

Most porn is dire, misogynistic crap and the porn machine that churns it out is ugly and harmful, full of drug/alchohol abuse and STIs.
Lots of men have no interest in it, or respect that their partner has personal or political objections against it and don't use it.

There is, however, porn that is well made and features people happy to perform and who enjoy doing it.
Smitten kitten "educational porn" , made by Tristan Taormino, is real sex, real orgasms and shows a couple who enjoy giving each other pleasure - it should be shown in schools imo, to counteract the nasty and mostly unpleasurable sex (for women) depicted in mainstream pornography.

Shine on makes sense to me - we are all different.

Make your own mind up and don't feel pressured by the pro or anti brigades into feeling you have to hold any particular view.

There re a lot of one-sided views on here.

The wife who objects to her husband watching porn on his computer is seen as within her rights to try to control / try to stop his viewing.

The man who isn't happy with what his wife is doing on facebook is a controlling B@@@@@@.

Yeah, if you don't agree with porn you're a prude. Or probably a lesbian. And definitely jealous because too ugly to be a porn star.

The man on that particular thread LD, sounds like a first class loon.

But these are the accusations that get levelled at a lot of people if they don;t like things. They've been said to me (apart from not be good looking enough to be a porn star of course, because I am )

If they've been said to you, so what? Stand your ground, explain that not everyone likes watching actresses off their heads on coke and vicodin being pentrated every which way by men who look like serial killers. Turn it around and ask them what they find erotic about such things.

I hate all of it - I hate everything it stands for: which is the objectification and degradation of women. I don't feel I have to be OK with it, and I'm not.

But Shiney makes a valid point - you decide how you feel, and that's fine whatever - we're all different.

I quite like it myself, and watch it alone sometimes, or occasionally with my husband.

My husband uses it more frequently than I do. I know he has his favourite sites and publications (as well as photos and videos of me) but I don't see it as any of my business. Men masturbate with visual stimuli, that's a known fact and it doesn't have any effect on his relationship with me.

Men also have the amazing gift of imagination too, just like women.

I have issues with it too.

I think it paints an unrealistic picture of what sex is like for young people and is far too easily accessible on the internet.
It objectifies women and is usually all about the man dominating the woman.
Women have huge breasts, shaved fanjos and flawless bodies whereas the men can look like shit so long as their cocks are big. Again, an unrealistic picture and putting all the emphasis on a woman being sexually perfect.

I'm with Malificience on this one.

Oh and btw biggem, why exactly will ALL men look at porn?

It is not a 'known fact' that men need visual stimuli to masturbate. It is a complete myth and there is no scientific evidence to support it.

It is also a complete myth that all men like and use porn.

As with every other pressure to go along with things that cause you discomfort and unease, I'd urge you to have the courage of your convictions and decide where you stand on porn and whether you are prepared to be in a relationship with someone who uses it. You don't 'have to' go along with anything you disagree with, just as any partners you have don't 'have to' stop using porn if they want to continue, but they might decide to give it up if it means that they won't have a relationship with you.

I would never have a relationship with a porn user and neither would my husband, because we both have strong political views about how porn is made, its effect on relationships and the distortion of sex it provides for young people.

"Women have huge breasts, shaved fanjos and flawless bodies whereas the men can look like shit so long as their cocks are big."

Boy, are you looking at the wrong kind of porn Sounds like the tacky, over-produced American shit, complete with naff voiceover and Seventies synth-pop.

'Men masturbate with visual stimuli, that's a known fact'

No it isn't. Not all men get off on visual stimuli. Lots of them aren't particularly in to porn, lots more actually object to it for the reasons people have stated above.

Just want to dispute the idea that men need porn like it's oxygen or something. They don't.

OK, 'known fact' was perhaps a strident assertion. I don't expect there is scientific evidence for OR against, since it's not the sort of thing that is scientifically investigated much!

Hassledge, what about porn that is made by women, for women or educational explicit material that shows loving and mutually enjoyable sex such as the site I mentioned upthread, or the lover's guide?

Just because most porn is often fairly abusive or even indifferent towards women and their sexual pleasure, that doesn't mean that all of it is.

I can honestly say, I have never known a man who objects to porn!

Believe it or not, there is plenty of porn out there that features women with real bits and bobs, and they actually seem to be enjoying themselves.