Porn. How do you honestly feel about it?

[Biggem]

I mean we all know men are going to look whether we like it or not.
But, I want (need) to know how other women feel about it, and I'm to scared to ask my friends incase I turn out to be the only one who has issues with it.

Any porn is fine, or is it when they start going on the live things (internet, not the shows in amsterdam) that it would bother you? Or aslong as ur still getting it u don't care it's only when they'd rather watch it than come and bump uglies with u!)

Take Lucy Pinder, great body, great looks, loves doing porn. I could watch her a lot. Real sexy lady.

DP never really had an intetest in it. He watches porn online very irregularly for some imagery but as a teen had one or two films and that was that.

I don't have a problem with most porn and enjoy it with my partner from time to tine but I personally prefer erotic literature.

Most porn is horrible and I hate the objectification of women in some films.

i also only like male gay porn, or men masturbating - if i am viewing alone (very infrequently).

I think a lot of women and men object to porn but some men prefer to peddle the line that all men are into it and that if a women objects she has a problem.

It's a lie of course and designed to make the woman feel bad.

It doesn't really bother me. DP does watch it online occasionally but not enough for it to cause a problem. If he did it to the exclusion of everything else I would mind. But I disagree that every single woman who is involved in porn is being abused and coerced into it (which seems to be the view on here) some just choose to do it because they are paid very well for it. I used to know a woman who was a presenter on one of the UK porn channels, she did it because she wanted to - she was pretty and had a nice body and made a lot of money out of it.

I don't mind it. Dh and I used to watch it our pre child days (halcyon..). Mind you they were really bad videos with full on moustaches and lip synching

I'd watch it now if I could be bothered it doesn't offend me and can be a turn on. It wouldn't bother me if dh wanted to watch some alone, he probably does. Personally I wouldn't feel threatened or excluded in any way. Equally, dh wouldn't be bothered if I watched some solo.

Agreed. I think some women like to peddle this myth too, because it makes them feel better about their choices in men and allows them to pretend that their partners getting a kick out of seeing women abused is 'normal'.

Agreed with wordfactory obviously!!

Doesnt bother me. Watched enough of it in my time either with partners or not, most of the tame stuff is actually pretty hilarious, the tacky storylines and all that rubbish I get why some lassies have hang ups about it, but it's not one of mine.

I am so blessed that my man is a rare breed in that he hates the idea of porn, says that it's for people unable to have good relationships with the real world, and that if more people took more time getting to know their bodies and the bodies of their partners, how to truly enjoy the physical side to relationships, beyond a quickie, the maybe folks would grow out of porn.
For me, it's a deal breaker.
I could NEVER be with a man who looked at porn.
I also don't need it.
My imagination and reality goes beyond this bottom feeding past time of modern man and woman. And yes, it has been around almost since time began, albeit in better forms - take, for example, the old Japanese scrolls out there, picturing women bending over wells, a man peeking from behind a bonsai in the distance at her naked pussy - but porn these days, and the amount of hours people are devoting to it, instead of nurturing real relationships, well, in a nutsack, people who rely on porn more than the real thing, are pathetic and I'm happy to say that I would never, ever court one.
Damn, I feel blessed with my guy.

Interesting then Baypolar, that you use porn-speak when describing a woman's vulva.

Is it? I've always preferred pussy to vagina, vulva and so on, so use it.
I didn't know they used 'pussy' in porn.
I thought they'd be more for using the word 'cunt'.

Having been very anti-porn as a youngster although I never really saw any because I was mostly living in countries where it was very hard to obtain I got into it in my thirties. Now it quite sickens me and puts me off sex as it is so formulaic, more and more about degrading women, and I think about the real lives of the people in the films. I am very sad that the teens in my family will not get to discover sex without having seen awful hardcore rubbish. It just takes one smartphone smuggled into school for all to see.
Living in countries where there was no porn easily available didn't mean that the women were treated better or the men were unselfish lovers, so I'm absolutely not against porn that educated people a bit in how to pleasure each other but I think I'm thinking more joy of sex type videos.

I am convinced that, if you measured the general happiness and satisfaction of regular porn users with their own bodies, their sex lives and their intimate relationships you would find that the vast majority are not made happier by the passtime and a good number are actually made more unhappy and desensitized.

I've read recently about young men with erectile dysfunction due to over use of porn. I actually feel really sorry for young men who are sold this stuff as their right to watch and use without limit as it surely must feed into their insecurities and confusion about how to go about relationships. I've always found if you scratch the surface men are so often very insecure about their genitals and their sexual performance and porn surely doesn't help one bit with this?

What a great post Eurostar. I agree with you too about the pressures that are put on boys and men to use porn and view them as another group that are victims of the porn industry. A lot of grown men lack the spine to say to their friends that they are against porn, or even that they don't want to see it themselves. It's therefore especially difficult for a teenage boy to stand out amongst his peers and resist the relentless pressure to view porn.

The OP hasn't been back, but I noticed she felt compelled to mention that she wasn't a 'prude'. I imagine it's because this is the insult that is always levied by people who conflate porn with sex and assume that to be anti-porn, a person must be anti-sex, which is yet another odious myth.

I feel like I massively let myself down as a feminist, because I just do not have a problem with porn.

That is to say, I do, of course, have a problem with women 'choosing' to work in the industry because their life is such that this is seemingly the only 'choice' open to them. And of course, viewers of porn have no way of knowing which women are happily there and which are unhappily there.

I get so at people who trot out the old, 'well women choose to do it', and don't have the wit nor wherewithal to scratch below the surface in order to see what these 'choices' really look like. I mean, you don't see the people who say this choosing to enter the porn industry! Why ever not, I wonder?!

So - theoretically, I don't have the slightest problem with it. Have absolutely no issue with the idea of anyone, least of all my DH, being turned on by naked people having sex, etc.

However, in practice, I know that women are exploited to make it. So, there's a massive disconnect there.

Ethical porn, with willing, consensual participants who are actually enjoying it, I'd be totally on board with.

Even if the women are well paid and enjoy their jobs it does not make what they are doing right nor does it make them modern feminists.

Newsbeat did a survey which shockingly revealed that young peoples attitudes to sex and relationships were influenced by porn, it was even discussed on that television programme about teenage sex and revealed that boys have a warped idea of what a naked body should look like thanks to porn.

Young children are easily accessing online porn and the greater the demand for easy porn, the greater the danger posed to children.

It is not liberating at all. Porn merely reinforces the notion of the woman as a sexual object there purely to satisfy the demands of the male. If you get turned on by that then that is entirely up to you, just don't pretend that porn is liberating women. And this isn't about gay male porn, this is about most of the googleable porn which depicts women in a submissive position satisfying men - close up shots of women, of their breasts, of their fannys. The emphasis is on the woman and how she is enjoying what the man is doing to her - or how much she just loves bjs, or anal sex, etc.

What was that research the other day that revealed quotes from mens mags were worse than quotes from convicted rapists? Open your eyes and just look around you, in tabloids, in mens mags, on the TV (on kids shows such as Brainacs ffs) the notion of women being just about large titties is everywhere. Rape jokes are fine because hey, us women are being liberated right? Which means that porn is perfectly ok because the women get paid to do it now, rape jokes are funny, dumb large breasted women on kid's TV is irony, women getting their tits out for newspapers is just good fun and if you don't agree with then you are a frigid prude.

Yeah, feminism has come on in leaps and bounds.

Excellent post sircliffrichard completely agree with you.

I don't like nor agree with it and was very upset when I found my dp using it, all his friends do, I think it's very sad people feel they need to watch it!

porn that I like is fine, porn that I dont like is yukky and makes me cringe.

As per slinking surely it goes without saying that only 'ethical' porn is good..I dont think think that pornography, or any other sexual services/sex work is inherently exploitative or harmful

I wouldn't mind porn if it wasn't done so badly. In fact, I would probably watch it a lot.
TBH if someone sat me in front of a porn movie I would get aroused as well because looking at people having sex is arousing to me. But I, mostly, choose not to watch it because it is cheesy formula sex with no enjoyment for the women which is a total turn off.

Like others have said, I also worry about kids learning sex through these simplistic and demeaning images.

away with the babies I've never heard anyone say they "need" to watch it? Enjoy watching it yes, not need.

And some women do choose the industry. Certainly there are many many exploitative angles which aren't pleasant and clearly wrong, women forced into it, trafficked etc. But let's not ignore the fact that some women with perfectly "normal" upbringings, level heads DO choose it for a career.

I think we should campaign for better porn...porn without crass gender stereotypes

I couldn't give a shit. If my partner wanted a quick wank every now and again to some porn it's no big deal. if it was used as a subsititute then that would be different.

I agree with lovesadirtylie: let's campaign for better porn without the cringe factor.

Again, many of you are focusing only on the fact that some women choose to enter into porn as a justification for it. Well many women choose to also wear the burka but it doesn't stop the burka from being a tool of oppression used by men.

Porn, topless models, women in bikinis at many sports events, tabloid treatment of women - it's all aimed at demeaning women and "putting them in their place". It just gives credence to the notion that women are only there for mens sexual pleasure. This is further emphasised by many of the rape jokes that imply women enjoy rape: Jimmy Carr - "what is the difference between football and rape? Women don't like football."

Do we really want this much porn around? Is this what we want our kids to grow up surrounded with? Because even with the best parental controls in the world (which many parents don't use) you cannot stop porn from slipping through the net. It has permeated our society so much that we are now almost immune to it, yet the underlying message behind it all is a very sinister one for women.