Is a snog considered being unfaithful in a long term relationship?

[waitingfornaru]

Or not?

[ClarryKitten]

children kiss for pleasure all the time and its beautiful to watch...why not grown ups? ever wanted to really kiss someone because they said something truthful or funny or clever? is that wrong?

[odaco]

depends on the relationship. Wouldn't be a big deal in mine (I am terrible for snogging people while drunk), have seen other people break up over it. Is all about intent I think.

[Bogeyface]

would you have a wank with your partner watching? scratch yer minge? pick your nose? shave your pubes? etc. etc. No, but I wouldnt keep it secret that I did those things either (apart from the nose picking, I dont actually do that :o )

Its the secrecy that indicates cheating, not the act itself.

Sex, snogging, sexting, webcamming, emotional connections....all are cheating IF the person doing it keeps it a secret because they know that their relationship would be damaged by them doing it.

If however they are in an open relationship or have an "understanding" and it is not kept secret then no it isnt, because both partners have agreed that its ok within their relationship.

Cheating is secrets and lies.

[Hassledge]

Pop Larkin was David Jason, yes? Are we talking about David Jason snogging? That's just plain wrong.

Re the OP - someone close to you - a friend has been snogging?

[Bogeyface]

Oh thanks Hassledge

Just about to eat my dinner....gone off it now with a vision of old-man-snogging in my head :o

[Abitwobblynow]

Clarrykitten you are mixing up two things. Your emotional reaction, with what constitutes INTIMACY.

SECRETS undermine INTIMACY. So, if you have a boundary-crossing incident with a third party (would he snog his boss? would he snog his gran? No! because that crosses boundaries) and keep that incident to himself, then he is keeping a secret, undermining the openness between them (trust, love, honesty = intimacy) and poisoning his relationship.

Sounds like having his cake (doing whatever he wants in freedom) and eating it (but having dependable at home as backup)

[AKissIsNotAContract]

'We don't mind if family kiss our partners on the lips so it has nothing to do with lip on lip contact...is it length of time spent at the lips that constitutes an infidelity?'

For me, snogging is use of tongues. Kissing someone on the lips wouldn't count. I would mind if DP's family kissed him with tongue.

[SquishyCinnamonSwirls]

I'd see it as cheating.

[BearWith]

Yes, of course it is infidelity! To the vast majority of folk. 99% of people, surely, would have an issue with it and would regard it as cheating, although how they dealt with it is up to them.

[ThereIsNoSpoon]

Clerry you're missing the point. If a person knows what they are doing will cause hurt or distress to their partner then of-course it is wrong. If you have laid it out from the start that you would feel cheated on by a snog, the reason for the person doing it is irrelevant. You thibking it's fine won't make another person think the same.

By all means we are free to do as we choose but to be as limited as you are being by applying your own morality to everyone is a bit sad.

[maypole1]

It depends different stokes for different strokes people on here leave their oh for less

[LoveInAColdClimate]

Yes.

I am also of the view that if you wouldn't be happy about your partner knowing about it, you shouldn't be doing it.

[tethersjinglebellend]

Actually, I think different strokes count too

[Bogeyface]

:o tethers!

[ThereIsNoSpoon]

Bwahahahahaaa @ Tethers!!

[Change99]

I think the vast majority of decent minded people would see this as very wrong indeed in any relationship whether long term or not unless both parties were agreement it was acceptable prior to it occurring. One person does not have the right to assume there OH wouldn't mind.

Just as some will agree with anarchy, burglary, stealing, shoplifting, assault, some (without morals) will agree with snogging in this manner.

[antsypants]

It wouldn't be a deal breaker to me if someone had a random drunken snog and told me about it, but if it had more connotations to it then obviously it would be cheating, if it was kept hidden or happened frequently I would be questioning the worth of staying involved, it all depends on the partnership and morality levels I guess

[Dozer]

Is only OK if in a dream! (or even a daydream)

[AnyFuckerForAMincePie]

how does one have an "accidental" snog ?

and to answer the OP, yes

[Wishiwasarestaurantcritic]

If it's with Adam Levine then it is perfectly acceptable and even to be encouraged!!!

[Get0rf]

Yes I would consider it unfaithful, of course.

Pa Larkin!

[ClarryKitten]

how many couples set clearly defined boundaries concerning what behaviour is and is not acceptable? ffs. it takes most of us years to figure out that leaving the lid off the peanut butter or allowing the dogs to lick the plates is unacceptable behaviour let alone where one or the other stand on 'relationship morality'. Do we REALLY know what will and will not hurt our partners feelings? and if that partner is a prude with a major stick up his or her arse perhaps a gentle teasing out of their comfort zone is a good thing? should we ALWAYS aim to make our partners happy or does that leave them fat, dull and unenlightened? what about tough love? growing pains?

[Bohica]

Yes.

[AnyFuckerForAMincePie]

clarry, are you saying we should continually test our partner's boundaries to stop them getting dull and unenlightened ?

I am very glad I am not in a relationship with you

well, actually, I wouldn't give you the time of day, but there ya go

horses for courses (but not in my world, thank god)

[Get0rf]

I think that in most serious relationships it is pretty much a given that you restrict sexual activity to each other, and that snogging is [art of that.

You can work out the peanut butter quandaries as you go.