A problem in love making.

[Bedknobs]

I know people are going to suspect I am a troll so let me first say, I can prove I am not.

I know Cod once went by the name of PouchofDouglas, that Lavenderr caused a sensation by advocating teaching her children to shoot pheasants, and I know 4 is code for who cares?

Does that establish my credentials as a regular Mumsnetter? I am using a false name because I really don't want people who know me (and some of you do) to know this about me:

Dh and I have been together for 15 years and yet when we make love, he has never "put himself in me" IYSWIM, I have always had to do it for him. As I have mild vaginismus, I always find this a tense moment in our love making and would really like him to put himself in me as I think I would be more relaxed if he did it. I have asked him to do this, but he just can't get it in on his own. Does anyone know what we should do? God I feel so embarrassed asking this, but do you put your man's penis in or does he do it? Why can't my man do it?

Our sex life apart from this is OK - nothing exciting but perfectly satisfactory. Please does anyone have any advice and please don't try to work out who I am!

uch yummymummy too much info for those of us that have never tasted it. Now i'm even more sure that i don't want to. Gross Gross Gross

You've never tasted cum???????????????????????? Dont bother its gross. I've only done it 3 times sorry i'm doing the too much info thing again arent i????

Funny you should mention chilli flavour, but my dh once said I tasted like McCoys chilli crisps!

Is that too much information?

lol Tamba
to be honest, I used to put it in for my H too cos he usually missed

isnt that like the parking joke " why cant women park? cos they're always told ....is 8 inches"
sorry doesnt really translate well to txt

not making light -just saying that maybe we all do this

ROFL, can barely type - fantastic thread. Cum is not that bad - depends on the man. They all taste different, largely diet related I think. (Sound like such a slapper - but haven't actually slept of tasted that many!!!).
As for the wet patch - has to be tissues by the bedside for a quick wipe. Don't go for loo roll or kitchen roll, then you have all that tearing stuff to contend with - just tissues. They are more absorbant too.

BOxer shorts........ or tissues

Message withdrawn

thank god dp isn't the only one!
i just found out that he washes his willy in the SINK every day before he goes to bed?!?!?!

"Beef curtains" is one of my favourite terms for lady-bits.

On the subject of clearing up, Mr MP always nips to the bathroom afterward and returns with a warm damp flannel for me. Such a romantic.

Message withdrawn

starlover - you say not many women come by penetration! You obviously didn't read that thread the other week, I was absolutely stunned by how many said they come by penetration alone and can't even be doing with foreplay.

Where's THAT thread Furball?

Message withdrawn

i missed that furball! but i have to say, i can orgasm through penetration alone too!

Now you are just showing off

My favourite lady-bit-related word is "wide on". As in, the girl equivalent of a hard on.

Just thought I'd add that in here.

pmsl nqc

Heheh I also like the "oval office"

starlover/morningpaper - just for you

and Starlover seeing as you're one of them who also can through penetration alone

Starlover: the sink? Do you mean the kitchen sink?
I don't know whether it's worse that he may have the grease and bits of floater from the stir-fry on his parts - or that the scummy stuff in your washing up bowl may not ALL be mild green fairy liquid!

no, the bathroom sink!

Message withdrawn

Oh Blu, that is just so disgusting to imagine! ROTFL - thanks!

Hmmm...an enlightening thread to read on a boring Wednesday night. Only on MN!!!

can we have an update
?