ok name changed for this.
I met a guy through work. He is much older than me. (old enough to be my dad and I'm in my early 20s) we met regularly through meetings, work parties etc even though we don't work in the same building. We got close and exchanged numbers about 4 months ago although I've known him about 2 years.
He texts me regularly telling me how in love with me he is and sends me and my son presents all the time (he is 4, disabled, never met him) just little things really but so sweet. He's the first person I call if I have a problem and he helps me through it all. He recently even just decided to buy me warranty for a year on my tumble dryer as it broke. I told him not to but he garbled on about money not being an issue for him.
Anyway I knew he has 2 kids (one my age) and he had separated from his wife years ago, at least I thought I did. I've never met his kids and he's never met mine. Way too early for any of that anyway.
So about a week ago someone I work with told me he still lives with his wife. I was totally confused and called him as soon as I got home. Yup it's true he says, but we are seperated, I haven't slept with her in years, we have separate rooms, we stay together for the kids and for financial benefits for her as she only works part time. I asked him if she knows about me, he said no it would hurt her in the same way finding out your ex was with someone new and he couldn't do that to her. He told me he'd never leave her 'in the lurch' and just wishes someone would come and sweep her off her feet so he could leave. I was totally confused at this point (still am) and asked him what it is he actually wants. He said he loves me and I said we'd have to just be friends. He said no, he loves me and he wants me.
In the end I just asked him what he wanted. He said he doesn't want me dating anyone else. He wants me to stay faithful to him. He will see me as often as he can but still live with his wife.
I really dont know what to do or think to be honest. I owe this man a lot. I would do anything for him and I think I believe him but what if it's a lie? What if he's lying and cheating and I'm the horrible nasty person who is ruining her marriage?
I feel sick. I've been on my own caring for my little boy and holding down a job since I was 18. I thought I'd found my knight in shining armour.
I owe him so much. I'm so confused
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
This seems like a nightmare. Am I OW??
Totallyconfuzzled · 29/11/2011 15:45
Er....what do you owe him? A warranty for your washer? 
Nothing else. Certainly not your youth.
If you end this now you can hold your head high at work and everywhere else.
He has lied by omission and deliberately misled you. He should be ashamed. Am really 
for you, especially the bit about him having his cake and eating it.
As others have said, you're only young, don't waste your precious time with this.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.