Bit of a personal question...

[WhatTheBloodyHell]

Long Time poster, greggs, fruit shoots,pomm bears etc...

Have changed my name because I am horribly embarassed by this. I've been seeing someone for a couple of months and it all seems normal and he's a good bloke, but he's recently let slip he's got a real thing for being dominated, the idea very much appeals to me, so he's not forcing me to do something i don't want to do, BUT...

What do I do? What do I say, I really need some help fromm you out there that are more sexually agressive out there.

Thanks

Slow day at work. Pulls up chair to wait for juicy titbits.....

I've never been into it, but a friend who has been recommends blindfolds as a safe first step, possibly handcuffs, and take it from there. Make sure you handcuff him the right way up.
:)

You shouldn't feel embarassed. You could start off by handcuffing him or tying him to the bed or a chair. If you feel uncomfortable with him watching you, blindfold him too. Then do whatever you like. If he tries to struggle, you could whip or spank him!! You don't have to say anything at all! If you want to say things, tell him or make him do what you want him to do, make the most of it!!

LOL - thanks for that

I'm oddly excited, but slightly terrified at the prospect.

So handcuffs, blindfold and right way up, yup think I can do that

any more sage words of wisdom?

There's a wrong way up for being handcuffed? Or do you mean hanging upsidedown?

I think I'd ask what he liked. There are different scales of domination. Some people it is just being tied to the bed post with a pair of stockings - others it is being made to crawl on their hands & knees while you beat them with a paddle. Probably best to get an idea from him what he'd enjoy & then you could see how comfortable you are with that.

I'd also want to know if it a once-in-a-while type treat he wants or if it's the only thing that gets him hard - fine if it's the former, boring and will soon become annoying for you if it's the latter and you've got to dress head to toe in latex and grind his face into the floor with six inch heels every time you fancy a bit.

If he wants to be whipped or paddled then practice on a pillow first. You need to get a good aim and get just the right amount of pain and not break the skin.

From the chats we've had, he's on the what I would consider the extreme end of the scale, wants to be abused, humilated, I'm happy to do it as a one off, but this sure as hell won't become an every night thing.

to give you an idea, the last response when I asked what he liked, was...

"The dirtier and kinkier the better, you might be surprised what you might find..."

Think you have to ask what his dirty and kinky is.

The bad news is that he may only get aroused by this sort of sex and you may not want to do it most, or all, of the time.

The good news is that dominant women are rather thin on the ground and if you get to enjoy it you will NEVER be short of men beating down the door to date you.

Why not give it a go and see what you think. Nothing ventured ...

Ooh, forgot to mention that if you do enjoy it you can dress up wonderfully. Thigh high stiletto boots, corsets, long gloves, loads of make up. If nothing else it's a good look.

The dressing up bit does appeal, and I have no problems with the taking control side, but I always viewed myself as rather adventerous, but by comparison to him, I seem extremely vanilla.

Personally it all seems rather a turn-off, but whatever floats your boat.

Sarah - if you handcuff him face down to the bed it makes access to his bits rather difficult, but what do I know?

Mmm not my cup of tea but each to their own I just hope it's not the only way he can get his jollies! Oh and I hope he's paying for all these dominatrix outfits as I would imagine they not cheap

Its just one of the arsenal of practices we have in our toolbox and a lot of men hold fantasies - secret or not in this area. I think it sounds adventurous and exciting. I would set some boundaries though - as you say that you are a little embarrassed at the moment - maybe 'I will do you, and do you good today - but you will have to be a very good boy to get another session'. This way you can keep control and get him fizzling as to whether there will be another go. And if spanking etc always start light and watch his reaction to see what he can tolerate - use safe words too. Good Luck Vixen.

'I think it sounds adventurous and exciting.'

Maybe,but the OP doesn't know what his precise kink is.

He could be into scat now that wouldn't be so exciting would it?

Scat? What's that?

I think it sounds fun too. I myself am into this sorta thing but on the other end :o

After much gentle coaxing, I have his kink, aside from the being dominated, abused and generally humilated he's seriously into bum fun (his more than mine) and wants to try golden showers.

I don't know enough about this sort of thing, is it ok to say I'm happy with the first half, but really not so keen on the golden showers and bum bit?

Is this normal?

bodily waste is way over the line

What's normal? Just depends on how comfortable you are, tbh. Personally, it would all leave me cold. Althoguh I suppose you could tie him to the bed, blindfolded, call him filthy names and occasionally whack him with something and read a book.

Normal for who? Having a fetish is not unusual, but everyone is different in bed surely. I personally would not want to try the golden showers (YOUR pee I presume?) but I would be willing to try 'bum fun'

Got to say though that this stuff takes serious trust for me so it's not something I would do with a relitively NEW partner.

Hahaha Chickens :o

Also I preffered when you were Chicken shave)