Belting out Adele songs to your 27 cats... dating chat thread #5

[lubeybooby]

New one! Off we go :o All kind of dating, chat here.

everyone needs shallow compliments ;) i love them.

Zany - this is the second date isnt it? He MUST like you to have asked you for a second one. Have a lovely time.

Ive got a date tomorrow, which i am less than enthuased about. But its only coffee in the day time, so i can just about manage that. Hes had my phone number and has text me once.. but is still chatting with me over pof. I think thats werid... surely you would just text?
The conversation hasnt really set me on fire.. but there has been no sexting, no text speak and hes been ok to chat too... plus i can always pretend i need to be somehwhere else after an hour if its bad cant i :)

He won't Shiney, no reply to a text I sent this morning but he still has his pof account and is online - as I just discovered. I took mine off but don't need it to see him there plain as day Cheeky bastard! And yes exclusivity was mentioned too during 'the chat'

Not. Impressed.

We are three weeks and seven dates in, three of them rampant but also cuddly overnighters with relationship and exclusivity agreed three dates ago. Initiated by him.

What to say to him?

I mean I always knew he isn't THE ONE and that it wouldn't be massively long term but I was enjoying myself and thought we might manage a good 6 monther at very least. Maybe not then

Sounds like it's definitely worth a quick coffee date Watch! Gotta love a quickie date with an excuse to get out of if need be :o

Then he has gone back on his word lubey. Send him a message, on POF, asking if he understands the definition of the word 'exclusive', asking if his definition is different to yours. Bit brazen of him to still use his POF account when he knows you could easily find out . What the heck does he take you for??

I agree with lubey, watch, he does sound worth a quick coffee date, it will get you out of the house if nothing else

Chatting to a nice man on POF but he lives too far away for anything to materialise. I can't be arsed bothered today, I. Am. Knackered. Lulu woke at 3am and was doing her impression of an exocet missile until gone 4am, that combined with a bit of PMS is not a good combination. I could nod off right now!

So join PoF again and message him on there? hmmmm... liking that idea...

Yes, definitely! Show him you are no fool and will not be treated like one!

It doesn't have to mean the end of your fun with BoR but it means you are a bit wiser to him

lubey ;(
thats awful. Yes to the pof plan. Clearly he doesnt want to be 'exclusive' his words are saying one thing and his actions another... you deserve better than that.
You would say the same to any of us, dump him.

Because in the least he has proved he is untrustworthy. Even a fwb situation requires trust...

yeah, ill go. Hes in a band... so thats a bit exciting. Am hoping hes just one of those people who dont contstantly text. ( always a good thing, it generally bugs me)

So what do we think - a bright and breezy but slightly passive agressive "Hello darling! Noticed you were online so I re-joined. If you are sticking around on here then I will too :D

Have a good day xx"

Or more direct

"What the actual fuck are you doing on here after the talk we had three dates ago?"

Or

Hello! Love your profile. You look just like my boyfriend, funny that eh?

Or

Hi. Knobhead.

Or

Something else???

:o

Nooo lubey don't give him too much, keep it to the point, don't explain you rejoined because you saw him online, let him ask the questions, later.

I'm liking the "hello! Love your profile. You look just like my boyfriend but I know you can't be him because we had The Talk and we are exclusive so I wouldn't find him trawling a dating site."

Then leave it at that and wait to hear from him, let him do all the talking and the explaining. Twat.

Shiney I have zero emotional attachment to him... I just can't believe the cheek and wondering what the best thing to say would be. I do LOVE your version very very much :o

Isn't that what penguin boy did? Not exactly the same in detail obv but he wanted it exclusive with you and then happily arranged to meet who he thought was someone else... and here is BoR wanting it exclusive with me but (still online now) chasing others....

Cocks indeed.

Le sigh.

Have you binned yours yet shiney? Why do these men not realise how lucky they are to have hooked beautiful, intelligent women? Why do they have to try and be clever

There is a saying lubey, men are like monkeys, they only let go of one branch when they have hold of another. Be aware that he could well be looking for his next branch. Wouldn't it be great to see him fall from the tree when you remove the only branch he has hold of at the moment?

Time and Shiney and anyone - a suggestion please for a smaller worded version of Shineys suggestion that he will understand

"extracting myself from your lady buffet" He will NOT comprendez

"You are fired!"

"Your services are no longer required"

"No exclusivity, no relationship"

"Cheats and liars are not welcome in my life"

"Good luck in your search to find The One, it's a shame you were unable to give us a chance but hey ho. See ya!" loser

"Hello! I noticed that you were showing online on POF earlier. This goes against what we have discussed previously. I am absolutely fine with this and you are free to do as you choose. i will, however, be extracting myself from you lady buffet. All the best!"

Ok, I've de-clevered it suitably for him so it isn't a challenge for the poor love...

"Hello! I noticed you were showing online on PoF earlier. This goes against what we talked about the other week. I am absolutely fine with this and you are free to do what you like, but I won't be seeing you anymore. All the best!"

Yay? nay?

Yay! It's dignified, it's to the point, it's brilliant

Send it!

And don't forget to remove him from your FB and change your relationship status!

lubey, I actually liked your "Hello! Love your profile. You look just like my boyfriend, funny that eh?" The quiet one mentioned tonight that she chats with several men on Oasis and just uses it as a chat site, so maybe he isn't actually breaking your exclusivity agreement? Just saying. Only you can really know what and how much he does or doesn't mean to you. If we were all so wonderful at finding and keeping love would we be here?

Back to my badly worded comment about zany... As I mentioned to someone a while back being part of this group is a bit like listening to your little sister and her mates discussing their loves and losses. I feel privileged to be allowed to sit in. I've seen pics of most of the group either here or on OKC and I would cheerfully be a "plus one" for any of you. None of you come across as horrid harridans or needy harpies, rather you're switched on, funny as a fit most of the time, and generally cool people. There is, however, one person who looked at my profile on OKC, who I've only swapped a couple of messages with to say hi but I find her pic totally alluring. As far as I know she's not part of the main group, but I may be wrong, so I'm not going to name names from here or OKC 'cos it wouldn't be fair to her. You are all attractive women, but aside from her the one who I look at and think "damn she rocks" is zany. Sorry if that seems creepy or makes you blush zany, but I'd like to think we've all done enough soul bearing in these threads to cut the bullshit and say it how it is!

Ach Lubey. I had my doubts over the fb relationship thing :/ what a cock. If it was me personally, I wouldn't even contact him, just change fb stat block and walk away. Any form of contact is showing you are bothered to a degree. He doesn't deserve that. Bloody players.

Lubey cock. i would contact him as a final flouncey 'up yours' gesture - I don't think it looks like you're that bothered, just that you respect yourself enough to remove him from your life - and if you don't do it, he'll always wonder what has happened and won't know that he has been out of order, if indeed he has... (grasping at reasonable explanation...) It wouldn't bother me that much if someone were still browsing PoF after an exclusivity agreement, but I would think they were looking for someone 'better'.

Do you want one of us to honey-trap him?

I am happy to be a 'horrid harridan'! it's taken years of bitterness and self-loathing to get to this state of grace!

I'm hovering between saying something and just doing the ignore/block thing. I think I kinda do want him to know I'm not stupid though... if I just ignore no doubt he will tell himself I'm just a bit mad and went off him or something